When the bow breaks
by gumtuu
Summary: Part 4 of 5. Is Trevor's new admirer as crazy as everyone think's he is?
1. Default Chapter

**WHEN THE BOW BREAKS**  
A story about the tv show, Cupid  
Part Four of Five  
by Steve 0yervidez  
gumtuu@hotmail.com  
  


            It was afternoon on the campus of the University of Chicago. The light of the descending sun flowed warmly in through the library window, falling golden into a small room reserved for student meetings. Spread across the floor was a varied collection of chairs, dispersed in a haphazard sort of way for the purposes of the very informal group that was meeting there today. Several members of the group were already scattered among the seats, laughing with each other, filling the air with the soft buzz of relaxed conversation.  
            A bright eyed college student entered the room, carrying a stack of notebooks in her arms. Resting on top of them was a rolled up banner of some sort. The woman was cute and petite. Partially sheltered behind her blond tresses were some very attractive blue eyes. Piercing blue eyes, eyes that seemed to exude confidence and gaze feverishly into a person's soul, despite the woman's diminutive size. At least they did here, in this group, where she felt whole. Where she was doing what she was meant to do. Although her face glowed pleasantly, her convictions were hard as a rock beneath the surface. Several of the others in the room noticed her enter and said hello, speaking to her with familiarity as she moved through them and towards the front.  
            She slammed the notebooks gratifyingly down onto the podium and placed the rolled up banner to the side for the moment. As others in the room continued to talk, she arranged her materials. After a quick sweep of the room with her eyes, she opened the top notebook and took a meticulous accounting of who was there and who wasn't. Her pencil moved frantically on the paper. If the group members knew of the obsessiveness of her record keeping, it might have caused some concern. But she made sure to never tell them. Closing the notebook, she began to hunt through her cavernous purse, until she pulled out a small, carefully wrapped, metal figurine. Pulling away the cloth with reverence, she revealed a small winged cherub statue, holding a bow and arrow. A tiny bell hung from the tip of the notched arrow. Carefully, the woman placed the figurine on the podium in front of her, ringing the little bell to get the room's attention.  
            "Ok, everyone. Let's get started..." She began to unroll the banner, turning to hang it on the wall behind her.  
            In the crowd, one young man turned to his friend, whispering quietly into his ear as everyone took a seat. "Hey Tom. You were right. Thanks for bringing me. There really are some delectable women here. But I'm a little... confused. What exactly is this group about?"  
            Tom smiled. "David, you'll love it. It's an Eros Appreciation Society."  
            "What?" David seemed suprised. "Do you mean it's... some sort of sex club or something?"   
            Tom shook his head. "No, Eros you moron. Cupid. The god of love. The 'official' purpose of this group is a study of the ancient greek god. But that's just an excuse for the student affairs people. It's really about following in Cupid's footsteps and setting people up with their 'true loves'. All for fun of course. Great way to meet women. Some of the best parties on campus."  
            Tom calmly patted David on the shoulder and they both turned as the woman at the podium began to speak.  
            "Could everyone take a seat please?" she said eagerly.  
            The banner was now hung behind her, words printed in large bold lettering across it.  
  


**THE UNIVERSITY OF CHICAGO   
EROS APPRECIATION SOCIETY**  
For the advancement of love  
in the modern age.  
  


            "Ok, here we go." the woman said. "Hello, everybody. Glad to see all of you again. We're lucky to have a couple of 'hits' this week. Umm... one it seems from Tom Catrell," she motioned at the man sitting next to David, but she paused, curious as her eyes lingered on David for a moment. "Umm, Tom claims to have scored a direct hit that seems to be going very well. So far so good, anyway. Let's all hope it holds up, and give him a round of applause..." The woman smiled as she put down her pen and began to clap her hands loudly, glancing at David again as she did.  
            The crowd applauded politely, but not as enthusiastically as the woman at the podium applauded. David followed along, confused at what the big deal was. Tom took a playful bow in his seat, not getting up.  
            The woman glanced at David again for a moment, admiring him with a tiny smile. David decided he was most definitely enjoying the attention she was giving him. The woman continued. "Tom managed to hook up two women in his poli-sci class. Nice work, Tom. Eros is in your debt. We'll mention some of your other 'hits' a little later, but for now lets get to some other business, specifically the plans for next week's mixer. So let's break into groups as usual...."  
            As the spectators broke into their small committees, laughing casually, the woman at the podium watched them with satisfaction. She opened another notebook and made note of Tom's accomplishment, marking it in her meticulous records. She sighed, content in the knowledge that she was following Eros' teachings and bringing love to the world. For her, nothing else really mattered.  
            David looked around, not exactly sure where he was supposed to go since he was new to the group. Still glancing at the woman at the podium, he slid over to Tom, taking a seat next to him.  
            "Tom," David whispered softly. "I'm not so sure I should be here..."  
            Tom smiled. "Hey, give it a chance. This is a great place to meet the opposite sex. Have you seen the women here? We're all supposed to help the course of true love, so why not help ourselves in the process? A lot of the women here tend to take that particular mission statement personally. And in a really good way..."  
            David looked around the room. "Really? Hmm. That does sound pretty good, but... Who's the high priestess over there running the show. She's kinda cute."  
            "Who, Faith? I'd steer clear, man. She's a little... out there."  
            "Out there how?"  
            "Well, most of the people here do this only for fun. You know, friendly competition, a great excuse for some fantastic parties. But Faith... she takes this all very seriously. She actually believes this stuff."  
            David scoffed. "What, that the Olympian gods were real?"  
            "Absolutely. Were and still are."  
            "You're kidding." David looked over at Faith again. There was no mistaking it. She had given him a small smile when their gazes met, before looking away and leaning forward slightly to write in another one of her notebooks. David noticed that a small pendant swung from the soft skin on her neck, a pendant of a winged cherub.  
            Tom smiled when he noticed David wasn't even listening to him, or his warnings, obviously caught up instead by the smile of a pretty girl. "Hey David. I'm being totally honest here. She's really a little... weird."  
            David shrugged, but never looked away from Faith. "Still, it could be fun. In a kinky sort of way..."  
            "I don't know, man. She'd probably make you anoint yourself in wine or say a chant to the gods before undressing or something." Tom considered that for a moment. "On second thought, maybe you're right. That _could_ be fun..."  
            David was still looking at Faith. "But no animal sacrifices, right?"  
            "Faith? Are you kidding? She'd never hurt a fly. She's just... committed that's all." His tone of voice implied in what sense he meant that.  
            As Tom turned away, David considered it. Then, taking a deep breath for courage, he rose and walked slowly over to Faith at the front of the room.  
            "Umm... Hi." He said, standing in front of her podium. "I'm David."  
            Faith smiled at him warmly, extending her hand.  
            "Hello David. I'm Faith. It's always good to see some new recruits." She laughed lightly. "Eros' work is never done, after all."  
            "So..." David felt awkward, surprised at how attracted he was to her. "Uhhh, Tom tells me that you're... you're really into this stuff, huh?"  
            Faith smiled and lowered her eyes. "Yeah. I know most people find that a little weird, but I've believed in this all my life. Kinda scary, huh?" She laughed.  
            David thought her laugh was intoxicating. "No. Not at all. I think it's kind of... charming."  
            "Well, thank you. A sympathetic ear."  
            David casually leaned forward, resting his elbows on the podium to be the tiniest bit closer to her. "Besides, you're really not alone. In that particular belief, I mean. I've seen others far worse off than you. Ever hear of a bar called Taggerty's?"  
            "No." Faith listened carefully, wondering what he meant.  
            "You haven't? Really? There's a bartender there you really need to meet. I could take you sometime." David looked into her eyes, hopeful. "I mean, if your interested..."  
            Faith smiled as she looked at him. She was definitely interested in the offer. "Sure. I'd love to. But why do you think I need to meet this bartender?"  
            "Oh," David exhaled in relief, answering off handedly, just happy she had agreed to go with him. "It's nothing. He just claims to be Cupid, the god of love."  
            "Really?" Faith was suddenly very interested indeed.  
  
            Trevor was busy behind the bar at Taggerty's, pouring drinks. The room all around him was filled with people. Music played in the air above everyone. Claire was there, right next to Trevor, seated on a barstool across from where he worked, sipping her drink as she smiled. Trevor had been teasing her all night, a light, flirty banter going back and forth between the two of them. He had been teasing her about what had happened yesterday at the local carnival, when they had danced together in the rain. When it had seemed for a moment that Claire had brought her lips close to his and had been about to... Claire smiled at the memory, pushing the thought away. It was foolish, of course. But still, after all that had happened with Frank, it did feel good to have Trevor flirting with her. Her ego certainly didn't mind the boost.  
            Although he was occasionally looking at something across the bar, Trevor nonetheless mostly looked at Claire, a glint in his eye. He shifted left and right, arms moving as he made his drinks, but his eyes always returned to her as he talked. "Come on, tell me I'm wrong, Claire." He was saying.  
            "You're wrong, Trevor. Hmm. That was particularly easy for me to say. Guess I've had a lot of practice. Trevor... I think you're making way too much out of this."  
            Trevor nodded. "Yeah, like I never do that. I can't believe you're giving me the old cigar is just a cigar routine. Wow, Claire. That's a therapist muscle you rarely stretch. Isn't that sort of like psychobabble krptonite for you?"  
            She smiled "This coming from a man who thinks Zeus is just another relative to hit up on for money. Trevor it didn't mean anything. I was just excited that we were back home, that's all."  
            Champ was suddenly there and hurrying past the two of them, putting away fresh glasses behind the bar. Trevor grabbed Champ's arm before he could leave.  
            "Champoo, let me get your take on this..."  
            Champ answered succinctly, without hesitation. "Whatever you're arguing about, Claire's right and you're wrong. Nice talking with you..." He tried to leave again.  
            Pleased, Claire's face brightened. "Thank you, Champ."  
            Trevor didn't understand, not letting Champ leave. "Hey! Why do you always assume she's right?"  
            "Well, for one thing, unlike Claire's relatives, if I were ever to actually meet _your_ family... I'd have to be checked into an insane asylum."   
            "Hey," Trevor defended himself. "Believe me. The gods aren't too sure that you exist either. Not when you insist on keeping that chin fuzz you call a beard. Look, let me just tell you what happened, and you can make you're own conclusions..."  
            Claire playfully smiled at the ceiling with a moan. "Trevor..."  
            Champ blinked at her reaction. Even before Trevor had said anything, now he really was intrigued. "Just exactly what did happen?"  
            "Nothing..." Claire said.  
            Trevor grinned and leaned closer to her, looking into her eyes with a smug look. "Clair bear here 'almost' kissed me yesterday."  
            Champ sputtered, astounded. His eyes were bright as he looked at Claire. "What?"  
            Claire blinked shyly, covering her smile as she took a drink. "I didn't 'almost' anything."  
            "Maybe not, but you're lips were definitely en route, Claire."  
            "Trevor, that's ridiculous... Hmm. Imagine that. Yet another phrase that's easy for me to say..."  
            Champ began to notice Claire seemed a little nervous discussing it. Still, there was a obvious sparkle in her eye. Champ almost laughed.  
            Claire realized what Champ was thinking, and she tried to explain, still in her good mood. "It's... nothing really. Trevor and I went to a carnival yesterday. Rides. Sideshows. There was this crazy old psychic lady there. She... hypnotized us into believing that Trevor and I had lived a past life together. The hypnotism was pretty believable. Very immersive, very complete. Very annoying.... I really hate it when someone's poking around in my head like that."  
            Trevor turned to look at Champ. "This coming from my court mandated therapist. Can you feel the irony?"  
            Claire continued. "Anyway, it seemed so real that we felt like we were there for several days, instead of what must have been at most a few minutes. She was a really good hypnotist. So when she finally brought us out of it, I-I guess that I was relieved. We both ran outside into the rain as fast as we could to get away from that place. And I was so excited to get out of there that I... didn't even come remotely close to giving Trevor the mistaken impression that I was 'almost' or about to kiss him. I wasn't even close. Well... not really that close."  
            Champ couldn't help but smile. "So exactly how close was close?"  
            Trevor looked at Claire. "Close enough that we could have shared the same oxygen respirator in the middle of a hurricane. Another millimeter closer and we might have needed one too. Sure gives new meaning to the term 'taking my breath away'..."  
            Claire smiled, looking at Champ. "He's exaggerating."  
            Trevor's face beamed as he gazed at her face next to his. He was still talking to Champ without pulling away from her, deciding to tease her a little more, his eyes sparkling smugly. "Did you know that in a former life Claire and I were married?"  
            Surprised, Champ nodded in amusement, knowing how much this must be rankling Claire. "I did not know that, Trevor." He looked at the two of them, looked at how close they always managed to be to each other without realizing it. Even now, when they were arguing... sort of.  
            Claire sighed. "We weren't married, Trevor."  
            "Hmm. Maybe you're right. Because that's one wedding night I know _I'd_ remember."  
            "Trevor, that psychic lady was nothing more than a quack. That's all. A con artist with a canopy. A trickster with a tent. Her so called crystal ball virtually had three holes in it and was inscribed with the word Brunswick on the side.  
            "No it didn't, Claire..." Trevor's voice trailed off, looking over her shoulder and back across the bar again, distracted from arguing his point by the people he had been watching for most of the night. Curious, Claire turned and looked. Champ noticed too, and he followed both their gazes, already recognizing Trevor's look for what it was.  
            "Trevor, what are you doing?" He asked sternly.  
            Trevor's eyes didn't leave the other side of the room, his hands still moving as he filled orders. "I'm serving drinks. Picturing Claire naked. Trying to figure out the riddle of world piece. Picturing Claire naked. Contemplating the design intricacies of the underwire bra. Picturing Claire _semi_-naked-"  
            "Ok, Ok. I think I get the idea, Hef."  
            Trevor smiled. "You don't know the same Hef that I know. I know the original. And they didn't call him the hammer for nothing."  
            "Trevor, what I mean is that I know that look in your eye. That, _'I've got my arrow notched and I'm ready to shoot'_ look. I see you've set your sights on that man and woman in the corner. Well, whatever you're planning... don't. Linda's tired of paying for broken glasses, and I'm tired of sweeping them up."  
            "Worry not, man of glass. I am the expert after all."   
            Claire watched the man and the woman for a few moments. They were both in separate groups, but occasionally they would glance at each other and smile. Claire had to admit it. Trevor had an eagle eye for spotting things like that out of a crowd. She turned around and playfully bit her lower lip, teasing him. "I've seen you're success rate lately, Eros. Calling yourself an expert is becoming more and more debateable by the day..."  
            "You're one to talk, Claire. Considering how many familiar faces there always are in your singles group."  
            Playfully, Claire tried to feel complimented. "I prefer to look at that as a validation of my advice, Trevor. Otherwise they wouldn't keep coming back. But in your case, I doubt the delusional history you quaintly call your 'credentials' inspires the same confidence. Listing your current job as Love God for the last 3000 years, for instance? That's not really endearing anyone to your resume. I mean, there are padded resumes, and then there are padded walls."  
            "Hey, I pad a lot more than just a resume. If you're ever more interested in a real world proof, I'd be perfectly willing to submit to a strip search to show you just how much I have hidden-"  
            "Trevor, I'm not even on the same continent as interested in that."  
            "Fine. We'll compromise. I'll let you keep your clothes on."  
            "You've got that backwards, Trevor. Usually it's only the strip search_-ee_ that gets naked. Not the strip search_-er._"  
            "Oh..." Trevor seemed to lose some of his enthusiam. "Never mind then."  
            Trevor was looking across the bar again, and Champ hurried over to him.  
            "Trevor, I mean it." He warned softly. "Don't even think of-"  
            Trevor poured two quick drinks that weren't part of any of his orders. He grabbed them and stepped out from behind the bar, not stopped by Champ's look of consternation, or arm, which he quickly dodged around.  
"Trevor..." Champ growled to his back.  
            "Don't worry Champ my man. What I have in mind won't get anybody hurt. Not even bruised. Unless it turns out she's a spanker..."  
            Before Champ could say anything else, Trevor moved off into the crowd, a drink in each hand.  
            Trevor worked his way through the noisy crowd as a song played on the jukebox. The music fought against the hum of conversation in the happy crowd, coming through the speakers overhead. Trevor moved through the tables, a man on a mission, stopping only for a moment to wipe his stained apron a little in an useless attempt to make himself look more presentable. The lyrics sang out around him.  
  
            _What if god was one of us,  
            Just a slob like one of us..._  
  
            Across the bar, and unseen by Trevor, a different couple was watching him very carefully, following him with their eyes as he made his way through the crowd. Faith and David were seated at a booth, on opposite sides of the table. They had been watching Trevor for several minutes, observing him from a distance. Faith frowned, a skeptical look on her face. Turning back to David, she showed a decided lack of enthusiasm.  
            "That's Cupid?" She didn't seemed convinced.  
            David looked uncomfortable, trying to justify why he had brough her here. "Well... yeah. At least he claims to be."  
            When he looked back up at her, he noticed she was smiling at him. She had obviously recognized the reason as the pretense it was, an excuse so she would go out with him. He had to admit, she was a smart cookie, having seen through him so fast. David smiled back at her, looking away when he realized he had been caught. "Ok, maybe he's just some nut..."  
            Faith looked back across the bar, considering Trevor again. "It's just that he seems so... human."  
            As they both watched Trevor, the song continued in the air above them.  
  
            _Just a stranger on the bus,  
            Trying to make his way home..._  
  
            David sighed. "Well... I hope tonight hasn't been a total loss..."  
            Faith looked over at him affectionately. She really wanted to be there with him. "It hasn't been..."  
            Suddenly there was a commotion across the bar. Faith and David looked over to see what had happened. Trevor was standing by the woman he had been watching earlier. He had just 'accidentally' bumped into her and spilled most of one of the two drinks he was carrying onto her when he had tried to squeeze past in the crowd.  
            Trevor began to apologize profusely. The man Trevor had also been watching was nearby, and had seen the whole thing. He was still looking at them. Unexpectedly, Trevor handed him then two glasses, asking him to hold these drinks for the woman while he went to go get a towel.  
            When Trevor had left, the man stepped towards the woman, both of them laughing softly as she made a useless attempt to dry her dress. They began to talk, looking at each other warmly as they introduced themselves.  
            Curious, Faith shifted her gaze and found Trevor rushing back through the crowd. She followed him with her eyes all the way back to the bar. Trevor hurried behind it, but his hurried steps stopped instantly once he got there. He casually began to go back to his drink orders as if nothing had happened, never once bothering to look for a towel. Sneaking a quick glance back the way he had come, Trevor smiled when he saw the man and the woman talking over the drinks he had handed them. He looked proudly at the dark, bald man who stood nearby. The bald man was forced to nod his head in grudging respect. Faith didn't recognize the brunette haired woman seated at the bar, but it was obvious that she knew Trevor well by the playful way they had sparred back and forth earlier. They had been doing that all night, and Faith sensed the connection between them. A girlfriend perhaps? Trevor leaned in close to whisper into the woman's ear, he did that a lot it seemed, boasting about his success before he pulled away. The woman smiled and sipped her drink, throwing a comment back at him. The bald man laughed as Trevor stumbled back, clutching his chest as if wounded. Amused, the woman chuckled silently, apparently knowing that Trevor would be insufferably cocky for the rest of the night.  
            Faith blinked as she thought about what had just happened and what Trevor had just done. As she sat at the table with David, she wondered if maybe she should reconsider her opinion. She lifted an eyebrow at David with a smile, duly impressed by Trevor's efforts.  
            David smiled back, encouraged. Maybe this was salvageable after all. He leaned in closer. "Want to meet him?"  
  
            "Hey! Trevor!"  
            David called out as he walked up to the bar with Faith right behind him. Trevor looked up from where he was telling Claire the dirtiest jokes he could think of, trying to make her to blush. He smiled and walked over to David.  
            "David! Good to see that you're back out and in the saddle again! Hope it doesn't chafe as much this time. Hey, don't be discouraged by that brunette two nights ago. That was my bad. I was a little off my game that night. We'll hook you up with someone else, good as new."  
            Embarrassed that Faith had heard all that, David looked quickly over at her, before introducing her. "Umm... Trevor, this is Faith. Faith, I'd like you to meet Trevor Hale. The one and only Cupid, god of love."  
            Trevor smiled when he realized David was there with someone. "Look at you, David. Already two steps ahead of me. Hello, Faith. I'm Trevor. It's good to meet you. Did you two come here together-I hope?"  
            David shook his head a quick, discreet 'no', not wanting to offend Faith. Faith didn't seem to notice, engrossed in just examining Trevor very closely for several seconds. Trevor blinked, uncertain at all the meticulous scrutiny. She looked into his eyes carefully, leaning invery close, wondering if being Cupid was something you could see in a person's face.  
            David continued. "Actually, Trevor, I brought Faith all the way here to meet you. She's really into classical mythological figures."  
            "You don't say..." Trevor said warily to Faith's continuing examination, leaning away slightly. "Then she really should check out the figure on Athena. I mean there are mythological figures, and then there are mythological figures. Well, here's your big chance, Faith was it? A rare opportunity to see _my_ mythological figure in the flesh."  
            Claire leaned closer to them, teasing. "Such as it is..."  
            Trevor smiled at her. "Since you're such the reported connoisseur of the male form, Claire, maybe you and Faith should really check out how totally bitchin I look in a toga sometime..."  
            Claire laughed. "Gee, Trevor. Put a laurel on your head and cry out PIZZA! PIZZA! and I think we'll have the image exactly."  
            David broke in. "Actually, Trevor... Faith specializes her interests in the gods specifically to Cupid. She's even started an Eros Appreciation Society at the university."  
            Claire couldn't believe it, dumbfounded. "You, you... you have?"  
            Faith nodded proudly, her face beaming.  
            Trevor nodded happily. "Veeery very cool. That's some good work. I can always use a few more Cupids for the cause. But I've been in Chicago for a couple of years now. I've even been on campus a time or two to take advantage of some rather lax student dorm buffets. Why have I never heard of this Cupid Society of yours?"  
            "It's new." Faith explained. "I was only forced to transfer here this semester from New York. I already had a society chapter founded at NYU..."  
            Trevor smiled. "Spread the love... Hearing that almost makes me feel like a spritely 1000 year old deity again."  
            Claire chuckled. "We all like to partake in delusions of youth, Trevor. Delusions being more literal in your case..."  
            Trevor dabbed at the corner of his eye with his apron, still thinking about Faith's society, pretending to mist up. He looked at Claire like a proud parent. "Mortals. They grow up so fast...."  
            Faith stepped forward, still a little skeptical. "Tell me about Psyche." she asked directly.  
Trevor took a moment, wondering what she meant.  
            "Oh. I get it." Trevor nodded. She was testing him. "Psyche. Strict. Cute. A little bossy in bed. A little kinky too. Liked hot oils. And candlewax. Hot cream, not so much. But very, very cute. She had two sisters, dark hair, and despite what ever you've heard," He looked pointedly at Claire, "we were never married. No matter what the textbooks say. One drunken night at Dionysus' gambling acropolis doesn't count. That satyr certainly wasn't certified to marry us, and anyway, he was as drunk as we were. Come to think of it, I'm not really sure he was a satyr. Maybe he was just a short guy with hairy legs, I don't know. I do remember Psyche though, as much as I hate to admit it to certain 'psychologists'. Old mom didn't like her too much, but that's ok." Trevor found himself looking at Claire again. "The best thing about Psyche, she had this beautiful pair of-"  
            "Trevor..." Claire interrupted.  
            "-brown eyes. And a habit of interrupting me."  
            Claire moaned. "Uhh ohh. You got him started, Faith. Now he'll be dreaming up imaginary realities all night."  
            Faith was still watching Trevor carefully. She fired off another question. "Who exactly is your father? I've seen it listed sometimes as Mercury, sometimes as Ares. Which is it?"  
            "Oh no..."Trevor moaned. "Not that argument again. Man was that a mess. My father was actually Ares. But at first mom tried to convince old stud muffin Merc that he was my dad because, well... she thought he was a whole lot cuter. You know mom. Dad was furious when I finally told him the truth. But I finally got them to stop arguing and get back together... eventually. After a couple of fights. Shame what ended up happening to Atlantis, though."  
            Faith pressed on. "What about your family tree?"  
            Trevor seemed uncomfortable. "I wouldn't call it a tree. Some of those branches don't branch very much, if you catch my meaning. Just, don't... don't ask. Ok. Family tree. Let's see. It's Uranus, Cronus, Zeus, and Ares on my dad's side. Umm, Gaea, Rhea, Dione, and Aphrodite on my mom's side." Trevor rattled off the names easily, without even thinking.  
            Faith nodded slowly, impressed. "You know you're mythology." _For a novice_, she thought to herself.  
            Claire spoke up, deciding to tease Trevor in front of his new admirer. "Trevor _has_ to know his mythology. He's made himself an expert on Cupid's personality, maybe to cover up for the lack of his own..."  
            Trevor wasn't really offended, knowing she was trying to get under his skin. He smiled sweetly at her sitting next to him. "Wow, Claire. With concise insight like that... it's a good thing you're beautiful."  
            Faith still hadn't made up her mind. "Trevor... do you mind if I watch you work? Setting couples up, I mean. I'd like to take notes. This is a wonderful opportunity to potentially observe the god of love in the flesh, so to speak."  
            Champ passed near them right at that moment and stopped, hearing that last statement. Both he and Claire looked over at Faith with shocked expressions on their faces. they both spoke at the same moment.  
            "You believe him?" Claire and Champ looked at each other, embarrassed they had said the same thing.  
            Trevor blinked. "Wow. Stereo condemnations.. Like I never tire of that."  
            Faith didn't seem embarrassed by their reactions at all. "I'm not saying I believe him... yet. But I would like to observe for a while and come to my own conclusions. At least for tonight." Faith looked over at David. "And for the next few nights too, if that's ok with you, David."  
            Inside, David was ecstatic, but he hid it well. It was definitely ok with him. "Umm, sure. I'd love to come up here with you for the next few nights." He smiled warmly at her.  
            There was a glint in Trevor's eye when he saw the spark between Faith and David. He nodded hopefully. "That'll be fine. Anything I can do to help you two guys out. And who knows... this could all turn out pretty great." Trevor looked knowingly at the two of them.  
            Faith smiled. "We'll get out of your way, Trevor. Thanks again. Come on, David." Touching his arm, she led him away. Before David turned, he mouthed the words 'thank you' to Trevor. He finally followed Faith, a big smile on his face.  
            Champ and Claire were still at the bar as Trevor turned to face them, looking more than a touch smug.  
            Champ shook his head, looking over at Claire as he thought about all Faith had said. "As if his ego wasn't big enough..."  
            Claire nodded. "Now he's got a fan club."  
            Trevor leaned forward and rested his elbows on the bar, as he thought about it. "Yeah, who knows where this could lead. A chain of temples in every shopping mall. Merchandizing. Books, t-shirts, my own line of edible underwear..."  
            Champ chuckled softly. "May the gods have mercy on us all." He walked away from the bar, and Trevor instantly moved closer to Claire.  
            She lowered her voice when he leaned in close, looking into his eyes. "Wow, Trevor. Someone who actually believes you aren't delusional. That was a little ... surreal."  
            "Yeah it was. If this keeps up, the next strange thing to happen will be you trying to kiss me again."  
            "That's not surreal, Trevor. Just unreal."   
            "Hey whatever labels you need to float your therapist boat. But if you do feel the sudden urge to lock lips, technically, in here, our roles are reversed. So I'd have to be the one to charge you for a change. Professional ethics and all that."  
            Claire looked at his lips. "Trevor, there's not enough money on the planet."  
            "That's ok. I'll give you a discount."  
            "I'd more likely want a refund..."  
            Trevor smiled. "You're right. Kisses are one of the few gifts that are better when they're returned. See, I knew there was something about you that I liked, but I've never been able to put my finger on it... because you keep slapping my hand away."  
            Claire laughed to herself. "And to think Faith actually believes you might have some insight into romance."  
            "Hey, didn't you see that finely honed little move I made with those two drinks earlier? It's an old classic. Who else can get two people together just by making a couple of cherry wine shooters..."  
            "I don't know, Trevor. Every bartender in Chicago?"  
            Trevor nodded towards the couple he had set up earlier. "Admit it. I did good, Claire."  
            Suddenly there was the sound of a loud slap from across the bar, and they both looked up. The woman Trevor had spilled the drink on earlier had just slapped the man Trevor had set her up with. The woman turned angrily and stormed off. The man was stunned, wondering what he had done wrong.  
            Claire turned back to Trevor smugly. "Better recheck your quiver, Eros. Some of those arrows are flying a little off target. Well... Quite the rousing start to your little Cupid demonstration for your brand new fan, Faith. Good luck, Trevor." Claire smiled, rising from the barstool. "You'll need it..."  
            Playful, she tapped Trevor's cheek as he still blinked to himself, stunned his set up had failed. After Claire left he still stood there. He couldn't believe it. He had been so sure. Trevor looked down at the empty glass in his hand. Finally he shrugged it off.  
            "One bad shot. That's all..."  
  


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	2. when page 2

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            The next night, Trevor was behind the bar again. The crowd was smaller and not as raucous. Tonight's gathering was more subdued, but more conversational, their voices interspersed with laughter. Faith and David were seated by the large windows near the front of Taggerty's, watching Trevor carefully.  
            Faith had a notebook open on the table in front of her. She was writing furiously, trying not to miss anything as she kept looking up, obviously engrossed in Trevor. She spared David a happy glance, realizing how much she enjoyed his company, before going back to work.  
           David leaned in close, whispering something into her ear. Faith laughed, looking at him with a smile. He smiled back, gazing at her, happy that he had made her laugh. Suddenly over Faith's shoulder he noticed Trevor was on the move again. Quickly David motioned his direction, but as Faith looked around frantically she couldn't find him, having lost where he was in the crowd. David leaned in even closer, his cheek next to hers as he pointed along her line of sight.  
            David guided her to the person Trevor was targeting with his latest attempt, for once spotting it before she did. Suddenly their faces touched unexpectedly, and it was like an electrical charge had passed through them for a moment. They turned towards each other, looking into each other's eyes.  
            Faith smiled at his inadvertent brush against her cheek. That is, if it had been inadvertent. She knew all the tricks. But she didn't pull back from him. David inhaled, and before he could change his mind, his lips came forward and he kissed her... once, soft and slowly. Faith breathed in, enjoying the kiss. When she finally pulled back, her eyes glowed, feeling a yearning in her lips to kiss him again.  
            David saw it in her eyes, and he came eagerly forward, needing no further encouragement. As David kissed her a second time, his enthusiasm made Faith laugh against his lips .  
            Across the bar, Trevor suddenly stopped what he was doing. He noticed Faith and David kissing by the windows. He nodded to himself, satisfied that things were going the way they should, happy for the two of them.  
            At that moment, Claire was walking by on the sidewalk outside the window where Faith and David were sitting, about to go in to Taggerty's. She stopped when she spotted them, watching them kiss each other, surprised. Slowly Claire opened the front door and walked inside, still looking over at Faith and David, feeling a little envious at the intensity of their kiss. It had been awhile since someone had kissed her like that. Smiling nostalgically, she looked over at Trevor behind the bar.  
            Pleased, Trevor smiled back at Claire, knowing she had seen Faith and David kissing too. Suddenly his expression fell, spotting the woman he was currently working on walking out of the bar, about to leave. Apparently she was calling it a night, and she didn't look too happy about it.  
            Trevor quickly rushed over to her, moving past Claire to stop the woman from leaving. Claire turned where she stood, watching.  
            Faith was still kissing David softly when she opened her eyes and noticed Trevor was moving out from behind the bar. She quickly broke the kiss, watching excitedly to see what Trevor would do, lifting her notebook to write. It took a moment for David's eyes to flutter open and realize that she was no longer kissing him. Faith pointed out what was happening. David tried to catch his breath, still recovering from the kiss and just happy to be there to share in her enthusiasm.  
  
            The next night it was another packed house at Taggerty's. Trevor was whispering into a pretty red head's ear, singing the praises of the man he already had her watching across the room. Suddenly her eyes widened at something Trevor whispered. For one agonizing, split second, Trevor knew he had gone too far. One microscopic second... just before she turned and threw her drink into his face. Trevor sputtered as the woman stormed off, wiping his face off with the apron he wore around his waist.  
            David and Faith laughed softly at the sudden turn of events, watching from where they were observing Trevor. Even as far away as they were, they could tell that Trevor looked very, very.... soaked. They were seated nearer to Trevor tonight than they had been previously. It had been like that for several nights now, each night slowly moving closer and closer to him. Both of them could see everything that was happening clearly. It didn't take an expert to know that tonight had definitely not been one of Trevor's finest hours.  
            Trevor was still wiping his face when he looked over to where David and Faith were giggling at him. They applauded softly for his benefit, only a few tables away, but all smiles. Trevor smiled too, lifting his hands in surrender, knowing he couldn't win them all. Especially lately.  
            Words flowed from the tip of Faith's pen and onto her notebook, sentence after sentence of incredibly detailed descriptions of all the situations and interactions she had observed the last few nights, all the subtle nuances. As the nights had progressed her writing had become more and more certain, more confident and exact. She was slowly beginning to take this seriously. Her doubts were beginning to fade away as she observed Trevor, night after night. Her eyes started watching him with a new intensity, as her notebook continued to fill, sentence after sentence after sentence.  
  
            Faith was there again the next night.   
            This time she was seated alone, right up at the bar next to Trevor. Her notebook was open before her, as it always was, resting on top of the bar. She was asking Trevor a few questions while he cleaned up. Behind them, the room was basically empty except for a few stragglers Champ was patiently guiding out. A few of the other employees were already cleaning up.  
            Trevor smiled, happy to answer all of Faith's questions. He was thoroughly enjoying his roll as mentor to such a willing recipient.  
            "So," Faith was saying. "Just so I'm clear on this, Trevor. That first man... the guy with the crew cut in the corner earlier. That man had never met the second man...?" Her voice was filled with disbelief.  
            Trevor smiled proudly. "Had never met him. Not until I gave them both a little shove slash incentive. I told each one that the other one had always wanted to tour with Liza Minelli. Presto. The rest just fell into place."  
            Faith stuttered, impressed. "But how... how did you know? Neither of them looked... I mean how could you have possibly even known that they were... you know."  
            "Hey, it's what I do. I'm the god of love. I've had several thousand years of practice. Trial and error. That's all it really is, until you learn to play the game and get an eye, and an ear for it." Trevor smiled, appreciating her look of wonder. "Are you starting to believe I'm the real deal yet?"  
            She nodded, still a little overwhelmed. "Yeah, I... just might be."  
            Trevor nodded. "Hey, I'm not saying my track record's perfect. It wasn't perfect even before I was sent down here, back when I had my bow. In fact, a lot of the other gods usually hated me, because I kept ruining their lives with love. Same goes for most mortals. Still, no one ever said true love was easy. I know Elizabeth Taylor must have started hating my guts after that fifth marriage or so. But I do always know when two people belong together. Even when they don't know it themselves. I just... see what I see and know what I know."  
            Amazed, Faith whispered. "A god among men..."  
            "Hey, don't be so modest." Trevor smiled at her. "I'm more like an _OLYMPIAN_ god among men. I just see two people I know belong together, and I give them a little nudge. For better or for worse. Like... with you and David."  
            She smiled. "Really? Me and David?"  
            "Sure," Trevor said. "I really think you two should get together... and go for it."  
            Her face suddenly glowed, as if she had just received the approval of the gods. She nodded in reverence, looking at him with awe. "Maybe you really are Cupid..."  
            David walked up to the two of them, holding his and Faith's coats. He touched her on the shoulder to get her attention. "Faith? Are you ready to go? That is... if you're done with you're debriefing for the night, of course."  
            Trevor smiled, turning away and whispering to himself as he wiped down the bar. "Hopefully not. Assuming you don't wear boxers ..."  
            Faith turned and looked at David, smiling at him seductively. Thinking about what Trevor had said, she suddenly saw him in a entirely new light. "Sure, David. I'm finished here for now. But I'm... not really in the mood to go home yet. Could we maybe go back to your place?"  
            David was surprised, not expecting that. But his face lit up all the same. "Umm... Yeah. Absolutely."  
            Faith rose from her seat, edging discreetly closer to David as he helped slip her coat onto her shoulders. She took one long, appreciative glance at his face next to hers as he stood behind her. Then she turned towards Trevor. "Thanks for letting me take notes tonight, Trevor."  
            Trevor nodded. "Not a problem. Always glad to help."  
            Faith smiled at him. "And I'll... take your advice to heart."  
            "And to other places I hope. That's great. You get her sliding home in one piece, David."  
            David inhaled. "Sure. Good night, Trevor."  
            The couple began to walk towards the front door. Faith was already nibbling at David's neck as they walked out of Taggerty's and out onto the sidewalk. The door closed behind them.  
            Trevor blinked to himself. "That was fast..."   
            Faith seemed to be taking his advice without question, right on the spot. He was surprised she had listened to him so easily. He wasn't really used to it. Still, he nodded to himself, pleased.  
            "Hmm. That seemed to go well..."  
  
            The coffee table screeched as Faith and David bumped into it, stumbling across his living room, caressing each other passionately. They were breathing hot and heavy into each other's mouths. David kissed her neck as he slid her coat off. Faith hardly noticed his fingers fumbling with the buttons of her blouse. Instead she was staring off into space, eyes excited as she held David in her arms, thinking about Trevor.  
            "David, did you see when Trevor set up that cute blond girl with the off duty fireman? It was so subtle! It took me almost an hour to even realize that was what he was trying to do! It was really beautiful, beautiful work."  
            David wasn't really listening, instead sliding her blouse off and kissing her bared shoulder. "Yes. Beautiful. You're so absolutely beautiful."  
            Faith absently rubbed David's strong shoulders, her voice full of enthusiasm. "I mean, what luck! After all these years, believing for so long when no one else does any more. I mean, there used to be whole temples devoted to the gods! Societies were built around them. Offerings were offered, quests were quested, odes were... oded! Poems were... never mind. My point is, the gods gave everyone purpose, they gave everyone a sense of...a sense of meaning! And now I have the chance to help out the actual god of love! Here on earth! In Chicago! I can help him get back home. It's an absolute dream come true!"  
            David moaned, kissing her neck. "Please don't say this is a dream..."  
            Faith pulled his face forcefully towards hers. She held it in her hands as she began to kiss him softly. "Actually, David. Trevor really thought that we should... well, that you and I should... you know."  
            David looked into her eyes. He didn't need a road map to understand what she meant. He suddenly lifted her entire body into his arms, kissing her again as Faith laughed.  
            "Hmm. The tacit approval of an Olympian god," David smiled. "Not bad. Guess we shouldn't disappoint him..."  
            Faith threw all her doubts aside, giving in fully while more and more of their clothing fluttered to the floor. She kissed David eagerly, her lips hungry on his. The intensity of it barely allowed David keep his balance, stumbling a little from the heated kiss as he carried her into the bedroom.  
  
            Claire Allen's current session was winding up. She rose from behind her desk, gently guiding the crying woman she had been talking to towards the door. She gave the woman a soft, sympathetic smile, trying to sound encouraging.  
            "It'll be okay, Andrea." Claire said. "You'll get through this. I promise..."  
           "Really?" The woman smiled as she sniffed, but at least she was no longer crying.  
            "Yes. Absolutely." Claire touched her shoulder. "We'll work through all your abandonment issues, your fear of rejection, and we'll get you through them together. The prospects may seem a little dark to you right now-"  
            There was suddenly a bout of laughter from whatever was happening in the hall outside the closed door, interrupting Claire's sympathetic spiel. Her shoulders tensed at the interruption, but she continued. "-but I know there's a light at the end of this tunnel. Ok? I'll see you next week."  
            As Claire opened the door, the woman blew her nose loudly into her handkerchief and Claire winced at the sound. The woman smiled weakly. "Ok. Thank you, Dr. Allen."  
            Claire ignored the sound of soft giggling coming from Jaclyn's desk, knowing they it wasn't directed at her or the woman. "No. Not at all. Just remember what I said, ok? Good-bye Andrea."  
            Once the woman walked away, Claire quickly looked over towards the reception desk, where the laughter had come from. Trevor was there, smiling as he talked quietly to Jaclyn, leaning in close over the desk. Suddenly Claire knew why Jaclyn was laughing. and she couldn't explain how that made her feel.  
            Annoyed, Claire interrupted them. "Trevor, what are you doing?"  
            They both looked over, not realizing that Claire had come out. Trevor's face brightened when he saw her.  
            "Sparky! Hi. I was just telling Jaclyn about our little shared time travel tent experience. You remember, don't you? Lots of rain, crazy old hag, you in a wet T-shirt, you almost kissing me-"  
            "Trevor!" Claire exclaimed. "Don't say that so loudly!"  
            Jaclyn smiled teasingly at Claire, pretending to blush at her reaction. "Why Dr. Allen, you're starting to sound a little defensive..."  
            Trevor looked over and nodded at Jaclyn. "She is, isn't she? I guess she wants to keep it a secret that she's got a crush on me-"  
            Claire sputtered. "That's-that's completely not true! that's-"  
            Trevor and Jaclyn both watched her squirm with amusement. Trevor smiled. "And here I thought the Nile was just an overused pun-"  
            "Trevor keep you're voice down! If someone were to here you talking like that-" Claire looked nervously around.  
            He thought about it. "What, they'd tell me... 'Way to go, Trevor'? No...? Oh. Right. Now I get it. You want to make our encounters a little more exciting and role play. Pretend that we're strangers that bump... and bump in the night. Kinky... but I'm game. Champ does have that sturdy dentist chair in his apartment. If I could find you a nurse's outfit, then we could-"  
            "Trevor!" Claire lowered her voice, still looking around. "I'm not secretly in love with you! Stop saying that so loudly. This is how rumors get started-"  
            "Or fulfilled. What do you mean, Claire? What is how rumors get started?"  
            "_YOU_ are how rumors get started Trevor! What if one of my colleagues hear your misguided boasting and believes it? Don't you think that me already having had one professional review of my relationship with you is enough!?"  
            "Well, I'm no professional, but I'd be happy to give you a review-"  
            "Trevor, I've already told you. My momentary reaction in the rain a few day ago didn't mean anything-"  
            "Hi." A pleasant voice said unexpectedly.  
            Claire jumped, certain it was one of her superiors. "It's not true! Nothing happened-!" she said instantly, until she realized it was Champ, there to pick up Jaclyn.  
            Champ gave Claire a look, wondering what she was talking about. "Maybe you should really consider decaf in the morning, Claire." He moved over to Jaclyn's side where she sat behind the reception desk, looking down at her with his eyes full of adoration. "Hello, Jaclyn. Are you ready to go to lunch?"  
            Jaclyn nodded, smiling happily up at him before getting her things. She picked up her purse and a paper cup full of cola that she had been sipping at her desk since her last break.  
            Trevor lowered his voice meaningfully as he looked fondly at the two of them. "Ahhh..._ lunch._ Very nice..."  
            Jaclyn smiled and tilted her head, hearing the hidden implication in Trevor's voice. "It's not that kind of lunch, Trevor."  
            Trevor blinked. "Oh. I'm sorry. Does that mean you're just going to have sex instead? Well before you do... Champ, you agree with me about Claire don't you?"  
            He nodded. "Yeah. I think you're crazy too."  
            "No, the other thing."  
            "What, that she's secretly in love with you?"  
            "Champ!" Claire glared at him. "Not you too..."  
            Champ smiled. "Sorry, Claire. It's just that Trevor's been drilling that idea into my head non-stop for the last few days. It's all he's talked about. So I assumed he meant-"  
            "Well, could you NOT assume so loudly?" Claire looked down the hallway.  
            Trevor smiled. "What are you so afraid of, Claire?"  
            "Of getting fired, Trevor. Of getting censured. Of getting ridiculed. Of, of people starting to believing these ridiculous rumors of yours-"  
            "By people, do you mean one particular brunette psychologist with a killer body that doesn't need to stop for directions to-" He looked her over.  
            Claire bullied over his words. "Trevor! A story like this will eventually get back to my superiors, and then on to the hospital board... And then both of us, Trevor, will be up the river Styx without a paddle."  
            "Ah, paddling. When it's done in the right, I'm all for foreplay-"  
            Claire glared at him. "What, do you honestly think your next therapist will be as lenient as I am? What'll happen is that I'll be hauled in front of an ethics hearing and you'll be hauled in front of a sanity hearing!"  
            Trevor blinked at her tirade. "I guess you're right. Maybe they _would_ think I was insane for wanting to kiss you-"  
            Claire shook her head. "Trevor, rumors like that are nothing but trouble. By the time the hospital hears about them it won't matter if they're true or not!"  
            "If I may voice my preference-"  
            "Trevor, you can't play around with something like this. This isn't a shoot and score love game. This is my job. I doubt the review board will be as forgiving towards me a second time."  
            Trevor looked at her. "Do I get to finish a sentence now? Claire, are you worried about you're job, or are you more worried that I'm right and you might actually have a crush on me?"  
            Jaclyn was still standing beside Champ, holding her drink in one hand. Both of them were watching the exchange closely, curious about Claire's answer.  
            Claire's mouth hung open at what Trevor had said, and she paused under all of their scrutiny. "Trevor I-... that's ludicrous. It didn't mean anything. It was a momentary lapse of, of... sanity on my part. Gee, wonder where I could have picked _that_ particular habit up? For the last time. I _ didn't_ kiss you. I'm not going to kiss you. And even if I had... I know I wouldn't have had any romantic feelings about it."  
            Trevor nodded in understanding. "Ok, Claire. Prove it."  
            "Excuse me?"  
            "We can settle this right here and now, Claire. Finish the kiss. You know. The one you came close to 'almost' not giving me in the rain? If you really have no feelings about me, it should be as easy as kissing a friend, like... like kissing Jaclyn. Which, if you're willing, we could save for later. I would love to see _that_ long cherished fantasy finally come true. It's-it's a guy thing. Don't ask. But for now, you can kiss me. Unless of course, you're scared."  
            "Scared?"  
            "Scared. You know. Frightened. Afraid about doing something because of the passions it might dredge up."  
            Claire gave him a long, annoyed stare. "Don't be ridiculous, Trevor." She started to walk back into her office.  
            Trevor darted around in front of her, blocking her and lightly touching her arm. She looked down at his hand on her skin.  
            "Why not, Claire? What are you afraid of?"   
            "I'm not going to kiss you, Trevor."  
            Champ and Jaclyn were still watching, heads shifting back and forth between Trevor and Claire like they were watching a tennis match.  
Trevor shook his shoulders in anticipation, as if loosening up. He wiggled his lips, before spreading his arms out for her, waiting for her to smooch him.  
            "No." Claire said simply.  
            Trevor shrugged, smiling. "I knew it... I knew you couldn't do it. Secret crushes tend to have that effect."  
            "Trevor, there is no secret crush. It's just that-"  
            "Just that what? You afraid that maybe your heart doesn't match the coloring on your sleeve?"  
            Claire looked back at Champ and Jaclyn, who still watched her, curious at what she was going to do.  
            Claire sighed. "I'm not going to kiss you, Trevor."  
            "Look. No tongue. I promise. Mostly."  
            "Trevor, it's not going to happen. Our lips... will never meet. They'll never occupy the same space. They'll never even live in the same neighborhood, ok? For one thing, it would be completely unethical. Not to mention unprofessional."  
Trevor let out a tired sigh. "And yet you always mention it..."  
"Besides, Trevor. On top of all that it would just be... _icky_."  
            "That's funny, Claire. I was just going to make the same argument about me kissing a mortal. But I'm willing to let my standards slide since you do have the cutest-"  
            "Trevor, I'm you're doctor. You're my patient. That's all we are. That's all we'll ever be. So there's absolutely no way that **_I_** will ever kiss **_you_**."  
            Trevor thought about it. "Wait... You just said that **_you_** can't kiss **_me_** right?"  
            Claire blinked, but didn't catch it. "...right. Besides... even if we did kiss, I'm absolutely positive I would feel nothing, Trevor. Not a thing. Absolutely nothing at-"  
            Without warning Trevor swept Claire into his arms and bent her back in a grand, elaborate gesture as he held her tenderly aloft. Claire found her spine hovering over the floor, clinging to Trevor for one breathless moment as he wrapped her up in his strong arms. Time seemed to stop, until without hesitating, Trevor eagerly lowered his head, and kissed her out of nowhere, deeply... warmly.  
            The soda cup dropped instantly out of Jaclyn's motionless hand, the cola inside splashing up when it hit the floor like a mini fountain, completely ignored as both her and Champ's eyes went wide with shock.  
            Almost instantly, Claire squealed in protest against Trevor's lips as he kissed her deeply, her shoulders tightening. His arms held her tenderly, even as Claire struggled a little, pounding lightly against his shoulder.... But then she closed her eyes, unable to stop herself from falling into the kiss with him, not letting go of him. Her head subconsciously shifted to one side and pressed in, and she almost reached a cautious hand up to caress Trevor's face. But she was able to pull it back in time, however pleasingly distracted she was. Instead, she simply let him kiss her, swept as deeply into it as he was, but not overtly encouraging it.  
            Trevor finally pulled Claire back to her feet, their lips coming off each other, tingling as they broke the kiss. They both tried to catch their breaths, feeling a little dizzy. Claire took a few moments to compose herself, absently straightening her blouse. She tried to make her expression calm, glacial, as if nothing had just happened between them at all. But there was no denying the slight flush to her cheeks, and her breathing was fractionally deeper.  
            Trevor exhaled, smiling as he looked at her. His face was flushed too. He could have sworn that he felt his toes tingling. "Hey," Trevor took a much needed breath, smiling. "You didn't say anything about _me_ kissing _you_, Claire. So... anything?" He waited patiently, breathing softly.  
            Claire though about it calmly, as if she hadn't been kissing him only a moment ago. "Nothing. There was nothing, just like I said. Absolutely no feelings at all."  
            Trevor shrugged, still caught in the afterglow of the kiss and not really believing what she was saying. "That's too bad. Still... it was good for me. Thought it was worth a shot..." He couldn't stop smiling at her.  
            Claire nodded, trying to seem serene and unaffected as she turned awkwardly to go back into her office. "See? No crush. No feelings. No problem. I-I guess now that's settled..."  
            Claire paused as all three of them watched her silently, Trevor, Champ, and Jaclyn. Champ and Jaclyn were still speechless at what had just happened. Claire nodded, satisfied she had proven her point. "I-... I-I have work to do now."  
            Claire slowly walked back into her office, the still stunned gazes of Trevor, Champ, and Jaclyn following her. She slowly swung the door shut, shutting them out of view in the hallway. Claire instantly turned and pressed back against the door as if needing the support. Her knees felt weak for some reason, and she was finally able to catch her breath, not realizing she had even been holding it before. She inhaled softly, trying to cool herself off.  
            Claire lips silently formed the word 'Wow' to herself, breathing softly, waiting for her head to clear.   
  
            Trevor was already walking away from Claire's office, happy with the world because of what had happened, and not able to keep the smile off his face, still feeling the kiss. He sighed contentedly, wondering what he should tease Claire about the next time he saw her. He walked down the hallway, humming the tune to '_I'm on top of the world, looking down on creation_' to himself. He didn't notice one cute blond haired woman who looked away and turned discreetly to the wall as he passed, trying not to be seen.  
            Faith did her best to appear as inconspicuous as possible. Once Trevor was gone, she looked over at Claire's now empty reception area. Champ and Jaclyn had already left. Faith blinked, not believing what she had just seen. Trevor and Claire. _Kissing..._ For a moment, she seemed worried by the unexpected turn of events, wondering what to do about it. But she pushed those concerns aside, following after Trevor again before he could get too far ahead of her.  
            Music began to play. A bass guitar repeated a single note incessantly, calmly, changing with the cords but still beating obsessively on. The song lyrics began, a contradiction to the soothing music, the bass line full of unblinking intensity.  
  
            _Every breath you take...  
            every move you make..._  
  
            Claire was sitting in front of her singles group, smiling as she made a point to one of the members. From where he sat at the back of the group, Trevor wasn't really listening, at least not enough to notice what she was saying. Instead he was eagerly whispering to a man and a woman seated in the back of the room with him. They were both two new members to the group, and Trevor was already trying to set them up with each other on a date. He smiled, laughing, pleased by the results. It seemed that he was close to sealing the deal. He looked up as Mike passed by, and Trevor told the couple to hold on for a moment, rushing over to talk to Mike about something he needed from him.  
  
            _Every bond you break, every step you take,  
            I'll be watching you..._  
  
            After finishing with Mike, Trevor turned around, pleased. His eyes went wide suddenly when he saw that Faith was sitting in the seat he had just vacated, whispering intently to the two new members. She was very animated, zealously propounding the ideals and benefits of following the god of love's advice, as all mere mortals should. Faith showed the two the small cherub hanging around her neck, still forcefully pushing Trevor's advice.  
            Trevor moaned. It was easy to see the growing gape of fear in the couple's eyes as they listened to Faith's over the top enthusiasm. Trevor rushed over to try and stop the damage, but it was too late. The man and the woman were both out of their chairs, leaving as fast as they could. And they weren't leaving together, both scared off as they walked in opposite directions, even as Faith continued to call out to their quickly retreating backs from her seat.  
            Faith paused when she saw the look on Trevor's face. She shrugged, not really discouraged as she slid over to another woman in the group with a big smile, introducing herself and asking the woman if she had discovered the joys of Trevor's teachings yet.  
            Trevor sputtered, not believing it. She was ruining everything. Exasperated, he rushed to the front of the room and up to Claire. Claire was now running some sort of trust exercise where she had everyone paired up with a partner, ready to catch the other when they fell back. Her partner was Lawrence. No one had rushed to take him.  
            Trevor tried to interrupt her as Claire continued to address the group. He tried to get her attention over towards what Faith was doing at the back of the room, wanting to complain. Annoyed, Claire ignored him. Trevor persisted, grabbing her arm. Claire turned to get him to stop just as Lawrence let himself fall back so that Claire would catch him. He crashed instantly to the floor if front of them. They both looked down at him and winced.  
  
            _Every single day, every word you say,  
            Every game you play, every night you stay,  
            I'll be watching you..._  
  
            Trevor was carrying two drinks towards one of his newly introduced couples at Taggerty's. It was going well. He felt a bead itching to slide over with this one. But when he walked up, all he saw was Faith, sitting at the now empty table, looking down sheepishly.  
            Trevor paused, knowing instantly what had happened. How did she get past him unnoticed? He had tried so hard to be certain she wasn't there.  
            Faith saw the anger in Trevor's face. She lifted her eyes and shrugged contritely in apology, not knowing what she had done wrong. She was about to tell him that she was sorry, when Trevor stopped her by lifting one angry finger at her, motioning her silent. Upset, he turned away, not really wanting to hear it.  
  
            _Since you've been gone, I've been lost without a trace,  
            I dream at night, I can only see your face,_  
  
            Claire was in her bedroom, thinking of Trevor with a smile on her face as she looked out the window. She didn't notice that she was trailing a finger lightly across her lips, remembering the kiss. Out of nowhere it occurred to her how often Trevor managed to make her feel better. How often he made her smile. Regardless of the implications of what that might mean, it had still been one hell of a kiss...  
            Claire looked over at the music box Trevor had given her last Christmas, wondered what she felt about him. Still in the grip of her pleasant memories she lifted the lid, pulling out the christmas card from where she kept it inside. It was handmade by Trevor, and it said 'Who Luvs You Baby' on the cover. Inside was a picture of Trevor, smiling at her.  
  
            _I look around, but it's you I can't replace,  
            I feel so cold and I long for your embrace,  
            I keep crying, baby, baby, please..._  
  
            Claire paused, thinking. Thinking about Trevor's card in a new light. Perhaps realizing for the first time what it implied that he felt about her. Had it always said those words? Why had she never even considered what he had meant before now?  
            Claire held the card to her chest, letting her thoughts wander happily. But then she pushed them reluctantly away, seeing them as the ridiculous, idle distractions they were. Nothing more.  
  
            Trevor walked out of his apartment, only to almost step on a small plate left on his doorstep. It was a small offering of rose petals, with a heart shaped candle flickering beside it. It had obviously been left by Faith, as a 'love offering', a variation on what they had used to leave in the temples to the gods in the old days. Frustrated, he picked up the 'offering', blowing out the candle and shoving it all inside as he closed the door. Shaking his head, Trevor began to wonder if Faith was everywhere.  
  
            _Oh can't you see, you belong to me,  
            How my poor heart aches, with every breath you take..._  
  
            Later that morning, Trevor was in a coffee shop, talking to one of the waitresses. Suddenly he got the feeling he was being watched, and he turned quickly, looking around. The waitress took a step back, looking at Trevor warily because of his sudden change in demeanor. Trevor shook the feeling off. Faith was no where to be seen.  
            Even later that morning, alternating squares of light and shadow flowed over the passengers sitting in the rattling interior of the elevated train car. The morning cityscape of Chicago slid by outside the windows. Trevor stood in the aisle, chatting with a man and gripping the swinging overhead rung for balance. Suddenly he noticed Faith, seated on the far side of the train car, watching him. Trevor went immediately over to her, his face hard.  
            The elevated train hissed as it pulled to a stop at the next station. Overhead, the morning sky was a deep blue. The doors to the passenger cars slid open, and Trevor stepped through, guiding Faith by the shoulders as he held her. She didn't fight him. Trevor quickly rushed back onto the train before the doors closed, leaving her standing there on the landing as the train began to pull away.  
  
           _ Every move you make, every step you take,  
            I'll be watching you..._  
  
            Trevor looked up. He was in his bedroom, looking at his string of beads. The current tally was certainly a sad state of affairs. The cluster of beads on the true love side was no where near as big as he would have liked. And if he wasn't mistaken, it was actually smaller than it had been before. Had he lost a bead or two? Trevor did a quick count. He was right. He had lost a few. He wondered which ones hadn't worked out, going through the couples in his mind. In any case, it didn't look good. He was definitely in a dry spell for setting people up with their true loves. Looking back up, he realized in shock that now there was even one less bead on the good side than there had been a second ago. Assuming of course that he hadn't miscounted. Shaking his head, he didn't bother recounting as he turned away.  
            Trevor was bartending at Taggerty's again. He smiled, happy for one night to be Faith free. He hadn't seen her anywhere. Suddenly he looked up and groaned. She was there, and already talking to one of the customers Trevor had been working on. Trevor could already see the all too familiar look of horror forming on the man's face as Faith spoke to him.  
            Trevor couldn't take it any more. He grabbed the white towel tucked into his apron and threw it over the bar, like a boxing manager throwing the towel into the ring in a gesture of surrender. The towel fell to the floor, blocking everything from sight as the song ended abruptly.  
  


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	3. when page 3

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            It was the next morning when the sun began to rise over the bustling crowd on the Chicago sidewalk. The flow of people walking along seemed constant and unending, a monotonous parade, as it was every morning. Skyscrapers towered all around. The morning air was cool, filled with the sounds of the city. Nothing was out of the ordinary, except for one thing.  
            Trevor was walking nervously down the sidewalk, looking around. Not that most people would have recognized him in his current state of dress. Or would have been willing to acknowledge that they knew him if they had. He was dressed in a long, tan trench coat, a baseball cap, and he wore dark shades over his eyes. Cautiously, he walked through the crowd, trying to be as inconspicuous as possible.  
            It wasn't working.  
            As he moved through the rushing crowd of pedestrians, he stood out like a sore thumb... because he was trying so desperately _not_ to stand out. People looked over at him, his paranoia clearly evident to them. Instead of concealing him, his cap, coat and glasses made him seem instantly out of place.  
            Suddenly suspicious, Trevor stopped without warning in the middle of the moving crowd. He quickly whirled in place, the hem of his coat flying. He nervously searched through the moving throng flowing past him, startling a pedestrian walking by when he turned on her. Wordlessly, the walking crowd cleared a space around him, but didn't stop, only a few bothering to look over at him. They had seen such 'uniquely' strange people on their morning commutes countless times before. At least he wasn't ranting on about invisible rabbits.  
            Trevor spread his arms out and crouched slightly, turning in place as if he were executing the smoothest, slickest move in the world. He obviously believed it made him blend seamlessly into his surroundings like a chameleon. It only made the crowd give him an even wider berth.  
            Trevor quickly darted forward a few steps, supremely confident in his stealthiness. He didn't have a clue. Suddenly he stopped again and repeated the entire process after only a few feet. He looked all around like a deer who had just heard a twig break, turning in several motions, standing in one spot. Or maybe a deer caught in the headlights of an approaching eighteen wheeler. Still, Trevor was certain he was being subtle. He continued down the sidewalk that way, walking a few steps, then stopping and turning, looking around. There was no denying it. He was almost starting to enjoy this paranoia thing. It was kinda fun.  
            A few passers by watched him absently, some beginning to wonder if his actions were some sort of performance art. But they didn't offer him any money. Instead, all Trevor got was bewildered stares, which he ignored as he searched through the crowd flowing past him, looking for someone.  
            He realized there was a row of shrubs behind him and he suddenly whirled around to face them, straightening up. They were lining the wall of the skyscraper he was walking beside. He swatted at the leaves, searching through them for a moment, before quickly stepping back and watching for any reaction. After a few seconds, he came closer again, searching more calmly, but finding nothing.  
            Trevor suddenly realized he was standing motionless, and out in the open. He looked around, before rushing off again. Trevor was the only person on the sidewalk wearing a heavy trench coat, and everyone else seemed to notice.  
            He knew Faith was there somewhere. He could feel it. He couldn't see her there, he hadn't spotted her, but she had to be everywhere. She always was. He tried to reassure himself. It wasn't paranoia to feel followed when you actually _were_ being followed. The glaring fact that there was absolutely no evidence of it whatsoever didn't really matter to him at all.  
            He stood in the middle of a group of pedestrians at the corner of an intersection, waiting patiently for the light to change. The crowd as a whole stepped forward when the WALK sign came on, crossing the street. Trevor stopped looking around, realizing he was alone on the curb. He rushed over to join the others, falling closely in step behind one woman as he tried to blend in. A little too closely. The woman sensed him walking so near and she turned around to see a strange man in a heavy trench coat directly behind her. Panicking, she stepped back, about to swing her purse. Trevor raised his hands to stop her, keeping his distance. With a glare she backed away from him, before finally turning and leaving him there.  
            Trevor mumbled to no one in particular. "Sorry."  
            He tried to straighten his dark shades since they didn't really seem to fit him too well, considering that he had 'borrowed' (stolen) them from Champ's bedroom. They kept slipping down his face crookedly.  
            Before he knew it, the rest of the crowd had continued past him and Trevor was alone in the middle of the crosswalk. He was about to follow them, moving a few steps, when he suddenly whirled to look behind himself again, stopping where he was. A cab at the light screeched to a halt, having just started forward, not expecting Trevor to stop. There was a loud honk in annoyance from the driver.  
            "Hey!" Trevor cried, lifting his arms. He began shouting at the same time that the driver did, who was leaning out of the driver's side window. Trevor banged the hood of the cab with his palm, offering his best curses in ancient Latin. He flicked his fingers off the bottom of his chin at the man, as insults continued to fly back and forth.  
            Later, Trevor was on another sidewalk, somewhat less crowded with people. For a few moments he seemed relaxed enough, striding calmly forward. Until he suddenly stopped and turned again. A man walking by in a suit instantly dropped his files onto the sidewalk, startled by the abrupt action. Trevor hardly noticed, looking frantically around for Faith. As the man knelt to gather his files, he gave Trevor a look like he was insane. Trevor spotted a blue mail box nearby, bolted down onto the sidewalk a few feet away. He rushed over.  
            Afraid to get too close, his arm reached cautiously out. Trevor stretched forward, carefully opening the painfully mail slot and looking in, and not feeling the least bit foolish doing it.  
  
            Claire and Jaclyn were very busy at her office, chattering rapidly back and forth as they fired off questions and answers at each other, Claire walking as Jaclyn followed behind her with her clipboard. As Claire moved around behind the reception desk, Jaclyn switched to the new file they were discussing, awkwardly opening it in her over burdened arms and trying to keep up. It would be a hectic day.  
            At the end of the hallway, Trevor threw himself prone against the wall, being overtly dramatic about it. He was hidden around the corner and out of sight, and he peeked around. He only saw Jaclyn and Claire, talking rapidly back and forth, obviously overwhelmed with work.  
            Taking a breath, Trevor walked over. He was still in his trench coat, cap, and shades. And he was certain Faith had followed him the whole way, even though he hadn't seen, heard, or had any indication that she was there at all. He knew she had to have been there. She probably had.  
            Claire looked up as she saw Trevor approaching, caught off guard at how he was dressed. She saw immediately through his so called disguise. She blinked, surprised.  
            "Trevor... please tell me you're wearing something under that trench coat."  
            Trevor gave her a wicked smile. "Only my birthday suit..."  
            Trevor suddenly ripped his coat open and flashed her. Claire was forced to block her eyes with the folder she held as she searched through her files. Jaclyn calmly leaned over to get a better look. Claire sighed in relief when she realized that he actually had clothing on underneath.  
            Trevor nodded. "See... it's my birthday suit. Or more accurately, the suit Champ just gave me for my birthday. He just doesn't know it yet. I've always told him to feel free to consider any day when I need something from him to be my birthday. Pretty sweet arrangement, huh? So what do you think? New shirt, new pants, new running shoes. And I do mean running..."  
            Claire frowned. "What is that supposed to mean?"  
            "Remember Faith? She's stalking me."  
            Claire walked over to Jaclyn with a sigh. "I'm sure she's not stalking you, Trevor. She's just-"  
            "Everywhere, Claire. She's everywhere! Everywhere I turn I can't get away from-.... Wait..." Trevor stopped, listening carefully. "Did you hear that?"  
            "Trevor, you're being paranoid. She's just a... a cupid 'groupie'. She's a... a 'Cupie'. A harmless fan, that's all."  
            "Maybe. And maybe sitting on a volcano is just one way to get a really warm enema. Do you know how hard it's been for me to avoid her lately? I had to take the long... and I do mean _LONG_ way to get here. By the way, did you know there's this excellent new Chinese place on 53rd?" He licked his lips, remembering stopping there, before he continued. "Anyway, Faith's everywhere Claire. She knows my routes, she knows my habits. I'm really going to have to do something about her. She's ruining couples that I've set up left and right, because she has the misguided belief that _I NEED HER HELP_ to get home. I don't need her help!"  
            Claire smiled at him. "Well, you do need help, Trevor. Just not hers. That's why the hospital board graces me with your company each day."  
            Trevor looked around nervously. "I've been here way too long..."  
            Claire searched through her files. "My thoughts exactly."  
            "She's bound to look here."  
            Claire nodded absently, reading, but not really listening. "Oh the pains of having the entire world revolve around you, Trevor...."  
            "I can't let her find me. I can't do my job with her around. The gods must be punishing me. Only explanation. The gods are punishing me with, with..._her!_" Trevor began searching through his pockets, almost frantic.  
            Claire looked up and noticed. She raised her voice, calling out once, sharply, to try and calm him down.  
"Trevor! Sit!"  
The tone of her voice made him instantly drop into one of the waiting chairs without question.  
She looked down at him. "Slow down... take a deep, calming breath. Level off... there. Stay. Stay... Good boy. Now get out of here Trevor, I'm busy. And lighten up a little about Faith. Her infatuation with you will pass. Anyone who's know you for any amount of time realizes, it sort of would have to..."   
            He wasn't listening. "Great. Whatever. I'll see you later, Claire." Trevor stood and quickly put on his cap, coat and shades disguise again. Except this time he pressed an extremely fake looking mustache he had taken from inside his pocket against his upper lip. It hung crooked on his face,not adhering properly, starting to curl off. He wrapped the trench coat tightly around his body.  
            Trevor suddenly paused, giving Claire a long admiring look for a few seconds, before leaning in close to her. She didn't notice him, until she felt something tickling her cheek and she looked over. It was that absolutely ridiculous mustache he was wearing, almost falling off. Claire tried not to laugh at how foolish he looked, her lips twisting in a smile. Trevor didn't seem to care, smiling back at her warmly as he lowered his voice for only her to hear. His lips intentionally parted slightly, hovering near hers.  
            "I'll see you, Sparky. And by the way. I haven't forgotten that you still secretly have a thing for me."  
            A look of shock crossed her face, but when she turned to him to argue that point he was already gone, darting down the hallway.  
            Claire smiled as she watched him leave. Looking over, she noticed Jaclyn watching her reaction with a knowing expression, an expression that said volumes. Claire forced her smile away when she realized what Jaclyn was thinking. Well... most of it, anyway. She went into her office, taking the file she needed to work on with her.  
  
            Trevor slid his back along the hallway wall, suspicious of every corner. He darted across to the far wall as quickly as possible, trying not to be seen. As he came to a stop he almost knocked a painting off the wall. Wincing at the noise, he reached out to steady it. Leaving it at an angle, he backed silently away from it, scanning back the way he had just come, blindly rounding the corner. He wasn't looking behind him when he crashed into... Dr. Dehnt.  
            It took a moment for Dr. Dehnt to recognize Trevor in his trench coat, hat, and shades. Was that a fake mustache about to fall off of his face? Dr. Dehnt blinked at the outfit.  
            "Umm, Dr, Love. Hello again. It's good to run into you. Or vice versa, as usually seems to be the case. It's good to see your.... umm, your new look."  
            Still feeling paranoid, Trevor looked around, not really noticing him. "Not so loud! Look, I've got to go. Nice to meet you too. NO autographs please."  
            Trevor pulled the coat tighter around him like a harried movie star and hurried away.  
            Dr. Dehnt gave Trevor a confused look, wondering about his strange behavior. He shook it off, walking down the hallway towards Claire's office, holding a patient file in his hands.  
  
            Claire wasn't sitting at her desk. The case envelope was left open and ignored, lying on top of it. She was standing at her window, looking out at the bright day beyond with a smile, thinking. Thinking about Trevor. She began to think about how long it had been since she had gone out on a date. A real date, anyway. That hypnotism thing didn't count. How long had it been since someone had... Claire reached up and touched her lips with her fingertips, remembering what Trevor had done. She caught herself, and pulled her hand quickly down, forcing the memory away. It was pointless, she thought with a smile. Unthinkable. Then why was she thinking about it? He was her patient. It was a line she was absolutely not willing to cross. It would be totally unethical. Besides, she was certain that she had no real feelings for Trevor, despite what he kept insisting. It was probably just a reaction to having gone so long without... She realized she was touching her lips again, feeling them tingling under her fingers as she remembered Trevor's kiss.  
            Frustrated, Claire moaned. "Uhh...I really need a boyfriend..."  
            Almost as if in answer, there was a soft knock on her door. Claire turned around.  
            It was Dr. Dehnt.  
            He was standing in her open doorway, knocking on it to get her attention. Claire blushed, wondering if he had heard what she had just said out loud. She had been so distracted by thinking about Trevor, she hadn't noticed he was there.  
            Dr. Dehnt looked warmly over at her with a smile, calling out to her softly. "Hello, Claire."  
            "Richard..." Claire said, still embarrassed by her distraction. She rushed back to her seat, realizing she really did have a lot of work to do. "It's good... it's good to see you again."  
            He nodded. "Yeah. Same here. I'm still waiting for that second date you promised me. How long ago has it been. A month...?"  
            "Yeah." Claire nodded politely, feeling uncomfortable for some reason. "Well, I've been so busy-"  
            Richard smiled. "Don't worry, Claire. That's actually not why I came to see you. Hmm. Try not to look so relieved," he teased. "Actually I came to consult you on a patient of mine."  
            "Oh. Umm, sure. Sure. Come in."  
            Richard stepped in and closed the door behind him as he looked over at her. He seemed distracted as he came closer, bouncing the file he held against his palm as he looked at her face.  
            Claire noticed, feeling self conscious. "What is it?"  
            Richard chuckled. "Nothing. It's just that... Wow. I had forgotten how beautiful you are. How stunning you-..." He looked away, realizing what he was saying. "Sorry..."  
            Claire blinked. "You said you had a patient..."  
            Richard came out of his daze, shaking it off. "Right. Right. I'm still a little fresh from the staring blocks when it comes to this job. I only opened my practice a few months ago and I'm still... a little new at all this. So I thought I'd consult you on an interesting case of mine."  
            "Sure. I'm glad to help. What's the case?"  
            Richard opened the file he carried. "Well... it seems a patient of mine has been 'interacting' with a patient of yours. My patient's name is Mary Simmons. It's sort of a unique case, actually. That's why I thought you could help."  
            Claire nodded. "Let's take a look."  
            Richard came around and leaned over her desk, laying the file out in front of her. He paused at the scent of her skin, but only for a moment before pulling back. Claire looked at the file, intrigued, as Richard continued.  
            "Mary's been in therapy a couple of months now, since coming to Chicago to go to school. She was referred to me by a colleague of mine. It's not a very serious case. Minor, really. It seems that she's fixated on the belief that the Olympian gods are real. And she's sort of attached herself to one of your patients. So I thought I'd come to you. Your patient's name, if I can find it in the file, is-"  
            Claire put it all together, recognizing her with a shock. "Trevor Hale..." She finished for him.  
            "Yes. That's the name. Then of course, I found out that... Well, he was _yours_."  
            "Excuse me?" Claire asked defensively, misunderstanding what he meant.  
            "One of your patients." Richard blinked, not understanding what she had thought. "He believes he's the god of love, right?"  
            "Oh." Claire tried to laugh. "One of my patients. Right. Actually, you've already met him. He's the one who set up our first date."  
            Richard blinked, not following. "But that was Dr. Love. Dr. Love's the one who-... Ohhh. I see now. Hmm._ Dr. Love._ Intriguing. Well, he is... persistent." Richard seemed embarrassed that he had been fooled by a patient.  
            Claire smiled a little, thinking of Trevor. "You have no idea..."  
            Richard wondered if that smile was meant for him. He smiled back at her. "So... I thought that maybe we should talk about our two cases since they seem to have 'intersected'. That's why I came to consult with you. Well, mostly. Umm, Mary's not a danger to anyone, but her psyche is a little... fragile. We really should coordinate our efforts..." He leaned a little closer to her as she read the file.  
            "Sure." Claire put the file aside and started looking through her schedule. "We need to set up a time to meet."  
            "How about dinner tonight?"  
            Claire smiled, trying to steer him away from that. "How about my _office_ tomorrow?"  
            Richard smiled, dropping his head good-naturedly. "Ok. Strictly work related. I understand. Tomorrow then."  
            Claire handed him the case file, looking up at him, realizing how extremely attractive he was. She was fully aware of his overtures towards her. And he was definitely handsome. But she just didn't feel she could do something like that to Tre-... Claire shook the thought off before she finished it.  
            Richard turned to leave, but he paused at her doorstep, looking back at her, amused. "Still hoping for that second date, though..." he said as he opened the door.  
            Claire sighed, trying to respond diplomatically. "We'll see..."  
  
            Trevor finally spotted her. He finally saw where Faith was watching him. He was walking outside Claire's building, and Faith was across the street. He had been right. She was still following him. Trevor stopped where he was, ripping the glasses and baseball cap off his head. He stood there with his hands on his hips as he stared at her, trying to calm down. Faith didn't move from where she watched, even though she knew he had seen her. Finally Trevor took a breath and walked over to where she was.  
            Faith didn't back away, despite the angry expression on Trevor's face. He glared at her, his voice quiet, but hard.  
            "How did you find me?"  
            Faith shrugged. "It wasn't easy. I lost your trail this morning. So I followed Claire instead. I know if I follow Claire long enough, eventually you'll show up."  
            "You followed Claire?"  
            "Sure. It's a little easier since she's not trying to hide from me. Besides, I knew you couldn't keep yourself away from her." Faith looked at his face. "I'm not sure I like the new facial hair."  
            Trevor blinked, realizing he still had that ridiculous fake mustache plastered to his upper lip. He ripped it off, glaring at Faith.  
            "I don't want you following Claire..."  
            Faith tilted her head. "Why do you put up with her, anyway? It took me a while to realize that she's your therapist. That's she's trying to cure you of who you are. But we both know you don't really need to be cured, don't we? Still, you do spend a lot of time with her. That... made me realize a few other things too..."  
            Trevor shook his head, his jaw hard, in no mood to stand there arguing with her. He looked at her angrily. "Look. You leave Claire alone. Leave me alone. OK?" Trevor gave her one last, hard glance, before he turned and walked away, still fuming to himself.  
            Faith stayed where she was on the sidewalk, watching him leave as she stood there, alone.  
  
"Claire, I don't know what I'm going to do."  
In her home, Claire nestled the phone closer to her ear. "Do about what, Trevor?"  
"About Faith. I've got to do something." He answered.  
Claire smiled, looking out of her front window at the night sky beyond, a glass of wine in her hand. "Oh. I really wouldn't worry about it, Trevor. If I've learned anything about you, its that you always seem to land on your feet."  
Pacing through his bedroom, Trevor sighed. Without realizing it, he was looking out his window like Claire was, watching the city lights glitter off of the darkened lake in the park beyond. Soft music played in the empty apartment behind him. Champ was off somewhere with Jaclyn. His room was lit by a soft yellow glow from the lamp beside his bed. He sounded worried.  
"You don't understand, Claire. It's like she's everywhere."  
Claire nodded, amused, listening to his voice coming through her phone. "She can't be everywhere, Trevor." The sound of his voice in her ear was comforting somehow.  
"Have you seen my string of beads lately, Claire? It's pathetic. They're starting to slide back to the bored and lonely side faster than a greased mountain climber. I'm almost afraid to check them again..." He could feel the string hanging behind him, but he refused to turn around. "I'm not going to look. I'm... I'm just not. Not going to do it."  
Claire's brow furrowed slightly. She touched the phone as it nestled against her face, lowering herself down to stretch comfortably on her couch, her legs bent beneath her. "And you think it's all the result of what Faith has been doing? Ruining your matches? You think she's the cause of your recent dry spell, Trevor?"  
"I don't know. Maybe..." Trevor didn't really seem all that convinced. He collapsed onto the ragged, beat up recliner he had in his bedroom, nestling the phone closer to his cheek too. He loved hearing Claire's voice, being able to talk to her. He felt so lucky to have her there. Well, her voice anyway. It made the apartment seem less empty. As he sat there, he re-evaluated what Faith had done. "Honestly, maybe not..." he admitted.  
Claire could hear the doubt in his voice. "What is it, Trevor?"  
Trevor blinked. "This dry spell I'm having. It can't be all of Faith's fault. I mean, some of those beads that have slid back were there long before I even met Faith. She couldn't have had anything to do with them."  
"Everyone can have a bad day, Trevor. Or a bad week. Even the god of love. Everyone's fallible. It just means that... you're human."  
Trevor grinned. "Hey. No need to be insulting, Claire."  
Claire lifted her glass of wine with a smile. "I'm just saying things will turn around, Trevor. Be patient. No pun intended."  
Trevor thought about it as he leaned back, tossing a baseball towards the ceiling and catching it again. His voice was soft, worried, as he continued to throw the ball. "Yeah, maybe. But... what if it doesn't turn around?"  
"What are you saying, Trevor?"  
"What if..." Trevor exhaled. "Man, I hate to even think about it, but... what if I've finally lost my knack for all this..."  
Claire smiled. "Your knack?"  
"My knack. My mojo. My X-ray vision. My ability to set up couples with their true love-"  
"Your knack?" Claire said again in disbelief. "Is that the technical term they use on Olympus, Trevor?"  
Trevor continued. "What if I just don't got it any more. What if it doesn't come back?"  
Claire listened carefully, a little concerned that he seemed so worried about this. "And you're afraid that maybe you've lost it forever?"  
Trevor was silent for a moment. "Yeah. Maybe. I mean, what if I just don't cut it any more. Don't get me wrong. Faith has done her fair share of damage. But she couldn't have caused it all. I know it. So what if... what if the gods _really are_ pissed at me..."  
"Trevor, there are no gods. You're just going through a-"  
"No, Claire. Just hear me out. The gods _were_ pissed when they first sent me down here. I mean really pissed. But I always thought we'd all eventually get past this little spat. But what if they're _REALLY_ pissed. What if they decided sending me down here with you mortals wasn't bad enough? What if this is just the latest phase of their punishment? By taking my insight away."  
"Petty theft." Claire teased.  
Trevor smiled, knowing she was trying to make him feel better. "I'm serious, Claire. What if they're slowly stripping me of everything I am? Of... of my entire reason for being..." His voice almost sounded desperate.  
Claire heard it, trying to reassure him. "Trevor, I don't think that's what it is. It's just a string of bad luck, that's all. And maybe... now I know this is a wild idea, but... maybe you're finally ready, on some level... to get rid of your Cupid delusion. Maybe you're finally ready to get better..."  
Trevor didn't say anything for a moment. "Aren't you afraid that if I do I will ruin your book about me before you even finish it? Aren't you afraid you won't have enough material?"  
Claire smiled. "Trevor, I would gladly ruin my book for an outcome like that. Besides, I'm in no danger of not having enough material. You said being Cupid was your reason for being. Maybe it's time to find a different reason for being. Or... a different person...." Claire bit her lip, not knowing why she had said that, not knowing what she wanted to hear from him, but still hoping for a breakthrough in his delusion.  
Trevor seemed to honestly think about what she was saying, wondering if it were true, before he finally shook his head. "No. That's not it, Claire. The gods have suddenly become really pissed at me for some reason. Something's changed. I know it."  
"Trevor," Claire sighed. "Even if that were the case, what's changed recently that could make them so angry at you? What's so different now?" She paused, hoping for a little more insight into his delusion.  
Trevor suddenly realized how close he was holding the phone to his ear, as if he were holding Claire there instead. He realized how much he adored hearing her voice, whispering into his ear. Suddenly, those feelings made him feel self conscious, and he slowly sat up in his chair, thinking.  
"Trevor...?" Claire asked after he was silent for several moments.  
Trevor's mind raced. Could that be it? Was it Claire? He felt closer to her lately than he had ever been. The sound of her voice was like music to him. Seeing her smile was like a warm dawn after a cold, lonely, endless night. And he was almost certain that she had started feeling closer to him too lately. It all hit him like a revelation. Could it be that he and Claire were too close? That they were falling in-... Could that be it? Was that what the gods were angry about?  
Trevor snapped himself out of what he had been thinking. "Umm... I, uhh... I don't, don't know. I don't know what's different recently."  
Claire nodded. "I mean, you haven't really done anything differently. Nothing's really changed in your life. Which unfortunately points to my continuing colossal failure as your therapist. You're still the charming pain in the ass psychotic you've always been. So what could have caused this sudden ire of the gods. Umm, Trevor..." Claire paused. "Trevor... Don't take this the wrong way, but..."  
"What Claire?"  
Claire inhaled, before pushing on. "Well... maybe _you_ caused it."  
A chill went through him. He still sat in his chair, looking out at the stars beyond his window, looking at them like he was being watched by them. "I don't understand..."  
"Trevor, maybe you feel guilty about something. Guilty about perhaps wanting to... to lead a normal life. Guilty about maybe being ready to...." Claire breathed, trying to be delicate. "... to let go of your Cupid persona."  
Trevor was silent, not knowing what to say.  
Claire waited, then decided to lighten the mood. "Or, on the other hand, maybe your just being paranoid." Claire smiled, teasing him. "I don't think there are supreme forces out to get you, Trevor. I'm certain the gods still love you."  
He replied absently. "Yeah... I'm certainly loveable..." Trevor was still watching the stars, as if they were sitting in judgement of him talking to Claire. He quietly touched his lips, remembering his and Claire's kiss outside her office, as his mind raced. "Well Claire, to be honest... it's not like _nothing_ has changed in my life..."  
She didn't understand. "What do you mean?"  
Trevor couldn't help it. He adored her voice. He closed his eyes and continued. "I just mean that the gods are flighty. Fickle. They don't always approve of what others do. Maybe they're pissed that I've been-... Well, maybe they don't like the person that I've fallen in-..."  
Claire's heart almost skipped a beat. "In? Fallen in what, Trevor? You've fallen in what?"  
"Nothing..." Trevor didn't answer, suddenly feeling extremely uncomfortable talking to Claire about this. He quickly stood and rushed over and lowered the blinds on his window, shutting the stars away. "It's nothing. Look, I've got to go."  
"Trevor, no wait. You're in what? Finish it, Trevor. Finish what you were going to say-"  
"It doesn't matter. I'm sure you're right. I'm just being paranoid. No one is watching me. Good night, Claire."  
"Wait, Trevor. Are you Ok? Talk to me. What are you think-"  
"Bye Claire."  
The phone clicked, going silent as Claire held it against her ear. Slowly she pulled it down, bewildered that he had hung up so quickly. Carefully, she laid the phone back down onto it's cradle on the end table beside her couch. She blinked to herself.  
"Wonder what got into him..."  
Claire took another sip of wine, wondering about what Trevor had said... and had been about to say. She would have given money to hear him finish that one incomplete sentence. She looked through her front window and upward, gazing absently at the stars far above in the dark night sky.  
  
The blind to the window looking into Trevor's bedroom suddenly closed. Faith wrapped her arms tighter around herself as she waited in the park, feeling the chill of the night air. She felt frustrated that she could no longer see what Trevor was doing. She knew he had been talking to Claire on the phone. She couldn't hear a word of what he was saying, but she could see it in his face. Why did he put up with her? She was constantly trying to fix him, trying to make him simple, dull... human. He was the god of love. That was a beautiful, wondrous thing. Why was Claire always trying so hard to take all that away from him. And why was he letting her?  
Faith looked around, standing in the shadows. It was getting late. She looked at her watch. Damn it. She was late for her dinner with David. Watching Trevor, she had lost track of time. She sighed. Well, David would just have to understand. This was important. She had to help Trevor get home to Olympus. Still, it seemed there was little more she could do tonight. She might as well go have dinner with David.  
Faith sighed, turning away from Trevor's window. She reluctantly walked away through the darkened park, her small form dwarfed by the glittering towers of the Chicago skyline. The towers themselves were dwarfed by the glittering sky far above, where the stars twinkled endlessly, mindlessly.  
  
The headlights of cars sped past outside the large glass window of the fancy restaurant Faith and David were sitting in. They sat together, having dinner. David poked discontentedly at his plate, not in a very good mood after Faith had showed up so late. But he had waited. And waited. He kept having to remind himself that she was worth it. Although at the moment, he wasn't so sure. Across from him, Faith was chattering along incessantly, her eyes bright as she spoke about Trevor at great length.  
David sighed, not really listening. Not really wanting to either. It had been like this all night. He tried to remain calm, remembering how much he really liked her. Well, usually. He looked up at her as she continued. She would glance at him from time to time, smiling at him, but David suddenly wondered if she even saw that he was there at all.  
"And that was when-" Faith was saying, "-Trevor told me that he had decided that he would invite both of them to a Blackhawks hockey party at Taggerty's. He set the whole thing up, the entire party, just to get Dan and Susan there together. He even left a Blackhawks t-shirt on Susan's doorstep just to get her to show up. Now at first, Susan was a little reluctant-"  
David sighed, interrupting as he decided to try and steer the conversation away from Trevor, yet again. "Did I tell you that you look really radiant tonight?"  
Faith blinked, wondering what he was getting at. "Umm, yeah. Three times already. Anyway, when Trevor finally got both of them there, things didn't go so well-"  
Not really caring, David nodded, continuing. "Well, things seem to be going well for us, right? We turned out ok. I'm glad Trevor thought that _we_... should spend time together." He made sure to emphasize the 'we' part.  
"Yeah. Me too. Anyway, after less than a minute, Susan fled out of Taggerty's and then-"  
"Could we..." David tried to be polite, smiling weakly. "Could we please change the subject? No offense, but... Trevor's all you've talked about all night."  
"Oh." Faith blinked, surprised. She seemed a little taken back that David didn't want to talk about Trevor. And vaguely offended. "Umm... Sure, I guess. He's just your average, ordinary, god of love fallen to Earth. That's all." She poked at her food, annoyed. "Happens every day."  
David gave her a long, level look, wondering what went on inside her head.  
He sighed. "Look, I know you're fascinated with Trevor. I mean, he's great and all. I got all that." Tenderly he reached out to lay his hand on top of hers across the table. "It's just that I really wanted tonight to be about... _us_. And not Trevor. The god of love can wait one night, can't he?"  
Faith smiled momentarily, touched by the honest affection David was showing her. He really did feel something for her, didn't he? Maybe she _had_ been neglecting her relationship with him recently. "Well, Trevor _IS_ immortal. I guess one night isn't too long for him to wait."  
David smiled back at her, happy to get the attention. "Great. That's great..." He lifted her hand and kissed it. "Just you and me, the rest of the night." He felt as if a ghost had left the room.  
David leaned over the table, touching her cheek before he kissed her softly. In that moment, he suddenly remembered why he was with her. With a deep breath they broke apart, leaning back, looking happily at each other.  
They were both silent for several moments, smiling contentedly as they went back to their meals. Faith's eyes glittered as she stared off into space blissfully, thinking. David was about to lift his fork into his mouth when he stopped in mid motion, seeing the look in her eyes before she even spoke.  
"You know, you're absolutely right, David. Trevor once said that two people-"  
David moaned, dropping the fork onto the plate. Oblivious to his reaction, Faith happily continued, telling her tale of Trevor's wsidom.  
David lowered his head onto the table with a heavy thud. Not lifting it, he pulled the napkin from his lap, bringing it up to cover his ears.  
  


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	4. when page 4

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Morning light streamed in through Trevor's window. He blinked drowsily, waking slowly up in the sun's glare as he yawned, coming awake. Looking around his bedroom, he tried to shake off the last remnants of sleep. Finally he crawled out of bed and walked across his bedroom, padding across the floor in his bare feet.  
He stopped in place when he noticed his string of beads, hanging there at the edge of his vision. Taking a breath, he didn't want to look. Then his face hardened, finally getting the resolve to turn his head. His eyes moved over the sting, bead after bead sliding slowly by as he counted them to himself, whispering.  
Trevor exhaled in release. The same count as last night. No change. Well at least that was something. He nodded contentedly, heading for the kitchen.  
As he walked towards the fridge, he suddenly became distracted as he thought about his recent dry spell. He thought about him and Claire, still wondering if that could be the cause. Could his unspoken feelings for her be the root of all his troubles?  
Trevor opened the fridge and absently took a thirsty gulp out of the milk carton he pulled out, leaning it back. Milk trickled onto his cheek. Pausing, he looked off into space as he held the carton in his hand. Him and Claire. Together. How much was true love worth? Was it worth giving up trying to help other people find their true loves? Would the world survive without the god of love? Would he?  
Trevor frowned, not knowing what to do. He needed guidance. He needed a little of that sorely absent, godly insight right about now. Exhaling, he looked around, realizing he didn't have all the answers any more. Maybe he never had.  
"Being mortal sucks..." he muttered softly.  
Trevor stood there, thinking. What did mortals do when they needed answers? Suddenly, his head lifted as he realized what he needed. The solution flipped on in his mind like a light bulb that had just fluttered dimly to fragile light.  
"I need an oracle... That's it!"  
He smiled, feeling happy. Downing the rest of the carton of milk in triumph, he finished it with a pleased sigh, tossing the carton into the air over his shoulder without turning around. It clattered across the counter before falling to the floor, ignored. Trevor nodded. Find an oracle, and ask it for advice. A back door into the minds of the gods. That would be easy enough.  
It wouldn't be. He stopped, and his smile suddenly faded when he thought about it. "Wait... Where the Hades am I going to find an oracle in modern day Chicago?"  
He mentally went through the list. Self help guru? No. Even though nowadays they appeared in book stores instead of mountain tops, he still didn't trust them. Forget it. Besides, that would really seem much too much like typical Claire-speak he heard a million times before. Fortune cookies? While acquiring them had certain culinary benefits, he didn't really need to be told he would have a pleasant happy-fine harvest or which lottery numbers to choose, or whatever. A psychic? NOOOO! No way, not after that little tent experience with Claire.  
"I'm not going through that again," he whispered to himself. Trevor looked around the apartment, thinking. He suddenly remembered something, and with a smile he darted eagerly across the living room, bounding quickly up the circular staircase and towards Champ's bedroom.  
Trevor burst hopefully into the bedroom without knocking, eager to interrupt. Unfortunately the room was empty. He looked over. Champ's bed was still made. He hadn't made it home last night. No one had disturbed it. Trevor smiled, realizing Jaclyn would be smiling extra big today. "Nice. Very nice..."  
He shook the pleasant image off, looking around the bedroom for what he had come up here for. There it was. Sitting on the end table beside the bed. He rushed over and grabbed it.  
"Finally.... something that'll give me some answers."  
Taking a breath, Trevor carefully held it in his hands, slowly sitting down on the edge of Champ's empty bed. And finally... he shook it.  
Trevor held the black, plastic, liquid filled, sphere of a magic 8-ball in his hands. He needed an oracle, and this would have to do. He had seen a few oracles in his time, and from experience he knew this was as good as any.  
Trevor was nervous, not really sure what to ask. Taking a deep breath to clear his thoughts, he finally built up the courage to ask a question. He asked the most important question to him. The first question that instantly popped into his head as he eagerly shook the dark sphere of the magic 8-ball.  
"Does Claire love me?" he whispered hopefully.  
Trevor finished shaking but he paused, reluctant to turn it over. Exhaling, he finally he did, looking at the tiny window underneath. It was black, dark, mysterious. He could see the tiny bubbles of the cheap dyed liquid inside, pressed up against the clear plastic. Then a small white shape rose from the murky depths, tinged blue along its edges from the liquid it was floating in. Agonizingly slow, it's edge hit the plastic window, pausing,before slowly turning to one side, raising it flush against the plastic so he could read it.  
  
**Signs point to yes.**  
  
Trevor exhaled, a warmth passing through him. His face lit up, happy at the response. He shook the ball again, turning the window back down as he asked it another question.  
"Will Claire and I ever be together?"  
He turned the ball over and waited. The room was quiet, almost as if in anticipation.  
The answer settled into the window.  
  
**Most Likely.**  
  
Trevor was ecstatic. He felt light headed, thinking about Claire and him together. He sat there smiling, when he realized... that wasn't really what he had wanted to ask the 'oracle' in the first place. He shook it again, forcing himself to concentrate, asking another question.  
"Are the gods mad at me?"  
Turning the ball, the answer settled into view out of the inky blackness of the interior.  
  
**Better not tell you now.**  
  
Blinking, Trevor wondered what to make of that. He asked another question.  
"Are they offended by how I feel for Claire?" He shook the ball nervously, a little concerned.  
Holding it in his hands, the answer rose into view.  
  
**Reply hazy. Try again.**  
  
Trevor shook his head in annoyance, tired of not getting a definitive answer. He rattled the 8-ball a little more forcefully than he had to.  
"Come on! This is starting to feel like a run around. Even the oracle at the Acropolis did better than this. And he was drunk all the time. Just answer the question! Are the gods offended by me and Claire?"  
Flip and wait . The answer was all too familiar.  
  
**Cannot predict now.**  
  
Trevor shook it again, impatient with the results. He began to mutter to himself angrily, the words soft and indistinguishable. He wanted to know. He _needed_ to know. No matter what the answer was.  
"Are the gods punishing me because of how I feel about Claire?"  
Finally he turned the small black sphere over, reading the reply.  
  
**Cannot predict now.**  
  
Trevor groaned, frustrated. He sat there in Champ's bedroom, fuming. "Leave it to an 'oracle' to never give you a straight answer."  
He looked at the small plastic ball in his hands. It looked so insignificant, so inconsequential. The image suddenly stuck in his mind. A worthless bauble. That's all it was. Finally, he got suspicious. So he asked it another question.  
"Wait. Are you just a children's toy, giving random answers, and otherwise full of crap?"  
He shook the ball and turned it over.  
  
**Yes, definitely.**  
  
Trevor smiled. He casually put the ball back on Champ's end table, barely resting it on the table's edge. He thought about the oracles 'answers', realizing that in the finally analysis, it was up to him to choose which of the answers to believe or not to believe. If he thought about it, in the end he was only giving answers to himself. He would need some other way to find those answers.  
Trevor exhaled. "Guess I'll figure it out by myself..."  
He rose and left the room. The 8-ball was still perched precariously on the edge of Champ's end table, before it finally fell to the floor. The small window turned upward, revealing words almost in answer to what Trevor had said.  
  
**Don't count on it.**  
  
The ball was left undisturbed on the floor beside Champ's still made bed, as the morning sky glowed a bright blue through his window.  
  
Faith took a breath. She stood there alone, uncertain, waiting. After coming all this way, she still wasn't sure she could go in. She was standing in a hallway. A hallway outside of an office. Looking up, she read the writing on the door she was facing, clearly printed on the white glass before her.  
  


** Dr. Dehnt. Psychologist**

  
  
Faith was scheduled for an appointment with him at that exact moment, a resumption of her scheduled sessions with Dr. Dehnt. Sessions she hadn't been taking part of much lately. There had been a few in the beginning, when she had first moved here from New York. But since then, she had become a little lax on keeping up with her scheduled appointments. She just had so much to do now. What with the local chapter of the Eros society up and running. And now, with trying to help Trevor get back home. It was all almost a full time job. She was very busy.  
Faith's brow wrinkled. She didn't really want to do this. Why had she even come at all? Is this what she really wanted? Dr. Dehnt always made her feel that she was crazy. She wasn't crazy. She just preferred to believe in something. Something wonderful. No one was going to change that. No therapy, and no therapist. So what was the point of these sessions at all?  
With that thought, Faith finally made up her mind, looking once at the door in front of her, before turning and walking away. She seemed completely prepared not to look back. But after a few feet she stopped, frowning to herself. Faith swallowed, feeling uncertain, and maybe a little scared as she glanced back at his door. Finally she turned and came back, grabbing the doorknob and forcing herself into Dr. Dehnt's office like she knew she needed to. The door closed behind her, leaving the hallway empty.  
  
The two of them had both been silent for several minutes.  
Dr. Dehnt looked over at Faith where she was seated in front of his desk, considering her. He smiled pleasantly, trying to keep the mood light with his voice.  
"I'm glad you agreed to start your sessions up again, Mary."  
Faith didn't look at him, her eyes lowered. Her body seemed uncomfortable in her chair, arms by her side as she sat there in the quiet office. She didn't move. It took several more long moments of silence before she spoke.  
"Why am I here?" She asked quietly.  
"Well... you're here so I can help you."  
She finally did look up then, looking straight into his eyes, but her face didn't change. Her voice was soft.  
"I don't need any help."  
Richard shifted in his chair under her penetrating gaze. The look in her eyes made him uncomfortable sometimes. "Well, we both know that's not true, Mary." He lowered his eyes. "I know you realize that too. Otherwise you wouldn't be here. Otherwise... I don't think you would have walked in through that door just now."  
Faith said nothing, looking down at her lap. Richard watched her for several seconds, considering her. She seemed so different when she was in here. Like she was encased in some sort of a cocoon. Not at all like she was out there, outside his office. "Mary... I think it's a _good_ thing that you came. It's a good thing that you're here. That's why we have these sessions. Don't you want to get better? Don't you-"  
"That's not what I meant." Faith interrupted him softly. She looked at him. "When I said, 'Why am I here', I meant on a deeper level. Why do I exist. Why do you exist. Why are any of us here on Earth?"  
"That's an interesting question, Mary. Why do you think you're here?"  
She thought about it, but she didn't seem to move. Her expression didn't change. "To be happy... I guess."  
Richard tapped his pen against her open file, looking down. "And are you happy, Mary?"  
There was a soft reply. "It's not Mary. My name's Faith."  
Richard looked at her calmly. "But, Mary's your name. Don't you like your name any more?"  
"My name's Faith. It's what I believe. It's what I am."  
"And... that's what you need to make you happy?"  
She didn't blink. "I'm happy doing the work of the gods." Faith sniffed, almost sad for some reason. "I'm happy with what I believe. Why do you want to take that away from me if it makes me happy?"  
"Because I'm not sure it does..." Richard looked down at her file, laying there before him. "For example, there was that incident in New York that-"  
"There was no incident in New York."  
"Yes, Mary. There was. Right after the university shut down your Eros Society chapter. They said you were being 'too obsessive'. That you were keeping tabs on all the members. Following them around. And... after they took the group away from you, you couldn't handle it. You shut yourself down. You shut yourself away. You wouldn't talk. You wouldn't eat. You wouldn't even acknowledge anyone else. Not your family, not your friends. They were all worried about you. They love you, Mary. You didn't seem very happy."  
"They don't believe what I believe."  
Richard blinked. "But was that really the reason? Was that really the reason why you shut them all out? Why you hid yourself away from the real world? Or maybe... it was something else. Was there something else? Something deeper, Mary?"  
Faith didn't say anything. She sat perfectly still, looking at the floor. Richard sighed patiently, looking carefully into her eyes, wondering what went on inside her head. He could see a sadness there, a fear, hidden deep. Unmistakable. Faith was silent for several seconds, before she finally spoke again, her voice soft.  
"Why am I here?"  
  
Claire sipped her drink, sitting at the bar, waiting for Trevor. She wondered where he was. He was supposed to be working right now, but she didn't see him. She looked around the bar, searching for him impatiently. Suddenly she caught herself doing that, and she wondered. Was she finally doing what she said she would never do, and actually missing Trevor Hale?  
Claire's face brightened as she thought of him, and she shook her head. "No," she said happily. "God no. Not a chance." She took another drink, thinking about her feelings, speaking to herself. "Yeah, sure Claire. Maybe it's only because you need him here to serve you drinks..."  
Claire smiled at the lie.  
Suddenly she felt a coldness on her shoulders. She felt uncomfortable, as if she were being scrutinized, being watched. Finally she looked over, slowly turning her head to see that Faith was sitting there, a few bar stools over. Her face was turned towards Claire, watching her silently.  
Claire quickly gazed straight ahead, staying in her seat. They sat like that for some time. Claire kept her attention on her drink, and Faith watched her. The rest of the activity in the bar seemed remote, not coming near. Both women were alone at the bar, the space around them momentarily quiet.  
Faith hadn't stopped staring, still studying Claire carefully. Claire tried to keep her eyes in front of her, facing the bar as she waited for Trevor. But she kept glancing over at Faith out of the corner of her eye, realizing Faith was still watching her. Finally Claire broke the awkward silence and turning to speak.  
"Hello, Mary. How are you doing?"  
The woman looked at her quizzically. "My name's Faith."  
Claire tensed, realizing she had just inadvertently let it slip that she had seen Faith's file. "Oh. Faith. Right. I forgot."  
Faith still coldly studying her. "Aphrodite always hated you," she said simply.  
Claire blinked. "Excuse me?"  
"Guess she was a little protective of her son. She wasn't very fond of you for what you did to him."  
Claire pulled back, finally understanding what Faith was implying. Her jaw hardened, as she realized what she thought her and Trevor's relationship was, and had been way back in history. Scoffing a little, she couldn't help but be a little offended at Faith's presumption. "I'm not Psyche." she said scornfully.  
"Maybe not literally," Faith was looking her over. "I really haven't figured that part out yet. Neither has Trevor, probably. But functionally at least, you are. Trevor's making all the same mistakes with you as he did with her. Ironic, isn't it? That you're his PSYCHologist? Maybe it's a clue..."  
Claire ground her teeth, her face less friendly, offended, but turning towards her anyway and offering Faith a quick, empty grin, her lips a tight line. "And maybe it's just the entomology of the word. Look, I'm Claire. You're Mary. That's all." Claire went back to her drink, not wanting to look at her.  
Faith didn't seemed put off by her cold shoulder. "Why are you always trying to fix him?"  
"What?"  
"Why do you think Trevor needs fixing in the first place?"  
Claire took a moment to respond. "Well, I... I think that he needs to...." Claire stuttered, uncomfortable. "Well, I think that Trevor needs to get well. To find who he really is, instead of the facade he wants to be."  
"Yeah," Faith nodded. "But what if he already is, who he really is. He's the god of love. What's so wrong with wanting to be that? What's so wrong with being that? Why can't you let him be happy?"  
Claire blinked, annoyed at her accusations. "I don't know, Faith. Maybe because none of it's true?"  
Faith didn't falter in the slightest. "Not to you. But it's true to him. True to what he wants to be. But that's not good enough for you," she looked at Claire accusingly, "is it?"  
Claire stared at her, lips tight. "We can't live out our lives in some fantasy world we make up for ourselves."  
Faith smiled. "That's the only world any of us have _ever_ lived in. We are all creatures of perceptions and beliefs that have little to do with reality. What are you afraid of? That in the end, maybe his way is the one that's right and yours is wrong?"  
Still angry, Claire faced her, tried to make her see. "No one can successfully function outside the real world, Mary. No matter how much someone wants them too. No matter what they'd prefer to believe. Because eventually the real world bites back. That's why I want nothing else for Trevor but to get well. Because he _needs_ to get well." Claire lowered her eyes, her voice growing soft. "And so do you..."  
Faith was non-plussed by that assessment, chuckling in disbelief. "You therapy guys all sound alike. But I wonder. That statement about needing to get better. Is that a reality? Or a belief?"  
Claire looked away angrily, but she did consider what Faith had said, wondering if there was any small, hidden part of her, that agreed with her. Finally she pushed the thought away. "Reality or belief. It's the way it is..."  
"You're standing in Trevor's way."  
"What?"  
"Because of how you feel about him. Your relationship with him isn't helping him."  
Claire shook her head, offended. "Now listen to me! When it comes to curing Trevor of his delusion, my objectivity has never-"  
Faith interrupted her. "That's not what I meant. I don't mean curing him. Not everything is about curing him. I mean letting him live his life. Live as he chooses. Letting him be happy with who he is. Wouldn't he be happier if everyone accepted him and his beliefs?"  
Claire thought about it, her voice softening after a few moments. "Maybe..."  
Faith was still looking at her quietly for several seconds, as if she were searching into Claire's soul. "I can't believe he's fallen in love with a mortal again."  
Claire was shocked, her breath catching in her throat. And some of what she was drinking caught there too, making her cough. She couldn't believe it. Couldn't believe what she had just heard, as the words hit her out of the blue. "What did you-... Wait, Trevor's not..." Dizzy, she tried to think. "He's _not_ in love with me."  
Faith didn't seem to hear, thinking. "The last time he fell in love with you it almost killed him. Assuming of course, that was you..."  
Frustrated, Claire sighed and turned to her. "For the last time. I'm not Psyche. Trevor's not Cupid. And that doesn't mean he has feelings for me. Your name is _not_ Faith. You aren't some sort of... of embodiment of Faith, alright? You're simply Mary Simmons. The rest is all in your head."  
Faith shook her head. "No it's not. It's in my heart. Trevor's making all the same mistakes by falling in love. The same mistakes, over and over again. Because of you."  
Claire was defensive, angry. "Now wait a second. I'm not the one who's caused any of-"  
"By falling in love with you. By doubting himself. He should be above all that. A god should be above all that. Trevor's lost his way as the god of love. He needs to get better. So he can go home."  
Angrily, Claire had to agree, but not for the same reasons. "Yes he has, Mary. He has lost his way. And he will get better. I know he will. I'm going to make sure it happens." She turned away, really hoping that was a reality and not a belief.  
Faith nodded. "That's why I'm here. He needs me to help him break free of you."  
Claire looked over. "You're here to help him?"  
"Yes. I didn't know why before. Why I believed for years in the god of love, when no one else did." Faith looked at Claire pointedly. "When _no one else_ that he cares about... does. Why should I still keep my faith, if no one else believes anymore? But now I know. It was so that by the grace of the gods, I could find Trevor. They led me to him. They kept my Faith alive. For this. So I could redeem him. When he needs me the most. He's lost his way. And I need to guide _both_ of us home."  
Claire blinked at the wording of that last sentence. She realized that Richard was right. Faith's psyche was fragile. More fragile than Claire had realized. It would take some time for someone to change her beliefs, at least without her shutting herself away again. It would have to be a slow, gradual process. She had been too harsh before. Now, she tried to be delicate. "Mary... are you trying to get home too? Where's home for you Mary?"  
Faith suddenly glared at her, and for the first time there was a quiet anger simmering in her eyes. "Don't... Don't you start. Don't start talking like that. You sound just like _him_."  
"Who, Richard?" Claire lowered her eyes, realizing how delicate Faith really was. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you."  
Faith smirked, still angry. "Oh, Richard is it? So you're familiar with the handsome Doctor? How familiar? Are you two... intimate? I'm not sure Trevor would approve..."  
"Actually, Trevor was the one who set me and Dr. Dehnt up on our first date several months ago."  
Faith nodded. "Form of self preservation on his part."  
"Mary, I..." Claire paused. "I'm not the poison in Trevor's life that you think I am. Just because I want him to get better, to stop being Cupid, doesn't mean I don't hold his best interests at heart. You don't have to hate me because of that. I'm just trying to help him."  
Faith nodded, obviously not believing her. "Then why don't you think about this, **_Doctor_** Allen. Trevor has real feelings for you. Whether you acknowledge them or not. And maybe... you should consider... whether your relationship with him is actually helping him to get better... or worse."  
Faith got up, obviously still angry as she turned to leave. Although it was probably pointless, Claire decided to try again. "You never answered my question, Mary. Where is home to you?"  
She turned slowly, looking at Claire coldly, her voice soft. "My name's Faith. And for the first time, I am home."  
With that she turned and was gone. Claire inhaled, turning back to the bar. She sighed at the little confrontation she had just let herself get into with Faith, when she should have known better. She knew Faith's condition. So why had she done that? Maybe because a little of what Faith had said had struck a little too close to home. Maybe it was because a part of her agreed that... that it was better to believe in something, than to believe in nothing. Otherwise, what was the point of it all? She missed Trevor. She was willing to admit that to herself, if to no one else. It was almost as if he were avoiding her lately, staying away, keeping his distance from her. She looked around the bar for him, waiting. But he never showed up.  
  
Champ was walking down the sidewalk towards Jaclyn's apartment, with a big smile on his face. He had only been away from her for a few hours, but he was already anxious to see her again. He strode forward eagerly, as patches of sunlight flowed over his shoulders, shining through the line of trees overhanging the sidewalk. His eyes looked straight ahead, bright, glowing, thinking of Jaclyn, when he heard someone call out to him.  
"Hey Champ! Wait up, man!"  
Champ looked over, and blinked when he saw Trevor fall into step beside him. He wasn't't wearing his disguise today. Instead, he was simply dressed, wearing his usual black leather coat.  
"Trevor...? What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be at work? This is a little out of your way. Are you going to Jaclyn's apartment too?"  
Trevor shook his head, momentarily aware of his surrondings and where he was. "No, I'm just trying to lay low. Walking around. So..." He looked up at Champ as they walked, smiling. "I noticed that you never made it in last night. Or maybe you did, figuratively speaking. Can I assume by the bounce in your bounce, that you're on your way to Jaclyn's place again to re-storm the battlements? Re-conquer the castle? Once more unto the breach? And what a lovely breach I'm sure it-"  
"Trevor!" Champ's eyes widened. "First of all, that is totally none of your business. And second of all, what's with all the medieval metaphors?"  
Trevor shrugged. "Medieval history marathon was showing at the tv store in the mall. You pick stuff up after five hours."  
Champ's brow wrinkled. "Five hours? What were you doing in a tv store for five hours?"  
"Not being seen. So tell me. Give it up, man. Are we on the way to expecting another late afternoon of Knight in white satin?"  
"Trevor, either your metaphors are getting raunchier-"  
"What? Didn't Jaclyn get the white satin sheets I had delivered to her in honor of you two getting together? I thought you both would put them to good use."  
"Oh... Yeah. She did." Champ seemed embarrassed by what he had thought.  
Trevor looked away, almost serious. "So things are going well between the two of you?"  
"Sure."  
"You haven't started fighting for no reason? Arguing out of the blue?"  
As they walked Champ looked over, not understanding. "Noooo...." He said slowly, confused.  
Trevor sighed, relieved. "Great. That's... that's great. Hopefully I'll get at least _one_ bead to stay put."  
"What are you talking about, Trevor?"  
"My string of beads. My tally to go home. They're all sliding back."  
"Maybe one of the string nails is drooping a little."  
"Ha. Funny. But, no. My matches are all falling apart. I'm just glad you and Jaclyn haven't gone the same route."  
"Yeah," Champ agreed, his voice soft. "Me too. But why are you losing beads?"  
Trevor nodded, a patch of sunlight sliding over his face. "The way I see it, it could be one of two things."  
Champ smiled as he walked. "So which is it? Paranoia or dementia?"  
Trevor grinned. "Those satin sheets are really soft, aren't they? I mean... the way they slide over naked skin-"  
"Ok, Trevor. I get it. I'll stop ragging you. And for the millionth time, thank you for getting me and Jaclyn together. Knowing you, any thank you I provide will never be enough."  
Trevor exhaled. "Hey. A true artist is never fully appreciated in his own time."  
"Or his own delusion."  
Trevor blinked, looking down at something on the sidewalk. "Was that a rag I just stepped over?"  
Champ smiled. "Last one. Promise. Ok, Trevor. What's the first thing you think it could be? I'll do my best to keep the snide comments to a minimum."  
"Well... I'm sort of wondering if it's because the gods are angry that... that I'm in love with Claire. "  
Champ laughed instantly.  
Trevor blinked, "Hey, this is serious. What's so funny?"  
"Nothing." Champ smiled, looking at him, surprised he had to explain. "Oh come on, Trevor. Admit it. You've been in love with Claire since the first day you got here. That's nothing new."  
"Hey, that's not-... There's no way I've-..." Trevor sputterred, but in the end, couldn't deny it. "Well... maybe it's because for the first time..." Trevor's voice went soft. "Claire's in love with me."  
Champ scoffed, looking over. "Well for someone in such an obviously mortal body, you sure do have the ego of a god."  
"Hey, you would too if you could peek in on the playmate of your choice in the shower-"  
"Trevor..." Champ stopped, facing him. "Let me... be the one to let you in on a little secret for once. This thing with you and Claire. Whether either of you is willing to admit it or not, it's been there since day one. From the very beginning. Why do you think she always puts up with you? Or why you put up with her? It doesn't matter whether you fight it, or she fights it, its always there."  
Trevor smiled. "You old softie! I knew you were just a big mushy romantic inside-"  
"Trevor, my point is that it's nothing new. Now, I think you'd both be happier if you two would just admit it to each other, but I'm not the one in charge of that. So... unless the all seeing, all knowing, immortal gods have a punishment time delay the size of the Grand Canyon before they finally get off their asses and decide to do something about it, I doubt that's it. So what's the second possibility."  
Trevor looked at him, blinking. "Since when are you so direct?"  
Champ moaned, apparently in a hurry. "Since waiting white satin sheets? Remember?"  
"Oh right. Storming the-.. Got it. Make it quick." Trevor blinked. "Wait.. no, I meant me, not you. Definitely not you. Not unless you want to start flying those satin sheets solo again-"  
Exasperated, Champ interrupted him. "Trevor!"  
"Battlements a'waiting. Right. Anyway, the only other thing I think it could be is... well, Faith."  
"Faith? Why her?"  
"She's been ruining every couple I've tried to set up. She's like a plague on molting day."  
Champ blinked, confused. "But... why would she do that?"  
Trevor looked at him for a disbelieving second. "Because she's a nut! Because she's a nut and she thinks she knows more than she really does!"  
Champ smiled, teasing. "Why does that sound so familar?"  
Trevor put his hands on his hips and blinked silently at the rebuke, his lips a thin line, making his meaning clear.  
"Sorry." Champ continued. "What I mean is, if she really believes you're the god of love, why would she try to ruin your matches? She must have seen the damage she's causing. So why does she continue to do it?"  
Trevor blinked, realizing he didn't have an answer. "You know, I really hadn't thought about that..."  
"Unless..." Champ worked through it in his head, becoming clear. "Unless it's because she _doesn't_ want you to get home."  
"What?"  
Champ nodded. "Think about it. She's a true believer who's found what she believes is the god of love. You, Trevor. Here on Earth. If you get a hundred beads and a hundred matches, you're gone. You're out of her life. Maybe she'd rather not lose you. Maybe, she'd rather keep you here with her."  
Trevor stood there, thinking about it. "I never looked at it that way..."  
"Well, consider it, Trevor." Champ started to walk again. Trevor absently kept pace beside him, distracted with his thoughts.  
Champ noticed Trevor was still walking with him towards Jaclyn's apartment, and he instantly turned and put his hand on Trevor's chest, stopping him. "Hate to disappoint you, Trevor. But I think I'll storm the castle alone this time."  
Trevor smiled. "Prude. But before you go, help me out man. What should I do about Faith?"  
Champ thought about it. "How should I know. Maybe there are no easy answers here. As long as she thinks you're the god of love, she won't let you go. You're clinging to your delusion, she's clinging to hers. I don't know what to tell you." Champ lifted his hands.  
Trevor stood there as Champ started walking away again, leaving him behind. When he looked up, Champ was already several meters away, so he called out to him. "Quite a conundrum of the crazies! I'll have to think about it! Hey Champoo! Good luck, man! Plant a few dozen flags for me. Storm that summit, my man. Raise the roof! Break a leg! Or a spring! Any part of the frame will do! So all shall be remember-ed!" Trevor continued to watch Champ grow more distant, and he lifted his arms in triumph as he called out. "So all shall be remember-ed! On Saint Crispin's Day!"  
Champ was gone. Trevor looked around, dropping his arms when he realized he was alone. He sheepishly stepped to the side and out of view.  
  
David tapped his pencil against his thigh impatiently as he sat at the usual meeting room on campus, waiting for Faith. Several other members of Faith's Eros Society were already there, and the sun was flowing in with golden rays through the window. It was already much later than when the group usually met.  
David looked up at the empty podium, at the empty wall behind it where the banner usually hung. He checked his watch. She was late. Where was she? He looked around the room. There were more students here than there ever had been before. The room was practically filled almost to capacity. Faith's little society was definitely gaining in popularity it seemed. Everyone there was talking to each other softly all across the room, occasionally looking at the empty podium like David had. Everyone knew that if there was one person who was never, NEVER, late it was Faith. David checked his watch again and sighed, waiting.  
It gave him time to think. To think about Faith. He hadn't been seeing her all that much lately. She was always so busy. But the more he thought about him and her, the more certain he was. He would make this work with Faith. No matter what. He had come to realize that no matter the circumstances or the sacrifices, Faith was worth sticking it out for.  
Suddenly he saw her. Faith was standing at the doorway to the room behind him, a smile on her face. David's eyebrows lifted as he looked at her. There was something different about her. Something missing. As Faith finally entered and started walking to the podium, David realized what it was. She had no pile of notebooks in her arms. No banner. Instead all she carried was the small Cupid statue with the little bell hanging from the arrow. Nothing else. She didn't seem at all upset as she stepped up to the podium. In fact she seemed happier than she ever had been, a big smile on her face as she looked over the crowd. She never once glanced David's direction. Her eyes were almost beatific, glowing, as she held the small figurine reverently, placing it slowly on the podium. David had never seen that light in her eyes before.  
Faith sighed contentedly, looking out over the group. She reached forward and rang the little bell, getting everyone's attention. There was no banner behind her, just empty wall.  
"Hello everyone."  
The room went silent, all the attention shifting to her diminutive form. Sunlight flowed past her as Faith looked down, grinning to herself. David tensed, sensing something was going on. As she spoke, everything else seemed to slide away to the edges of his sight, his vision slowly zeroing in almost imperceptibly, moving inward towards her.  
"Everyone, I have some news. I have enjoyed our collaboration beyond all my ability to thank you for. You've all given so much to me. And to each other. The pursuit of true love, is a noble one. Cupid would be proud of all that we've done here. Of all that we've accomplished. If he bothered to see. But I've come to realize some things. There are all sorts of true love. True love comes in many forms, and not all of them are romantic ones. In the end, true love... is _purpose_. It's meaning in your life. I have found that meaning. That's why I have to devote all my time to that purpose. And that's why..." Faith paused. "I'm shutting down the Eros Society."  
There was a small murmur. David pulled back, blinking in surprise. What was going on?  
"No, you don't understand." Faith smiled at the sound. "It's okay. Really. It's not that I've stopped believing. I haven't lost my Faith. In fact, you could say I found it again. You'll do fine without me. All I can tell you is... Love each other. Don't betray each other. Don't abuse each other. And never call something 'love' when it's-... never call something love when it's not love, but-... Anyway," The darkness that passed across her eyes at the distant memory was gone. She looked happy as she reached towards to the little bell for the last time. "Thank you all. For everything. And this, the final meeting of the Eros Society.... is closed."  
The little bell rang.  
That was it. It was over. Everyone slowly got to their feet, confused by Faith's little speech, by what had happened. There were some more murmurs as they all began to file out, chairs screeching as the reluctant crowd squeezed out of the one door in the room. David made his way through them, heading for the podium. The room quickly emptied as he made his way to where Faith was walking away from the podium.  
Still a little concerned, David smiled at her, a little confused. "Faith, hi. It's good to see you. I haven't been able to catch up with you lately."  
Faith smiled politely at him, but it fell away quickly. Her expression became neutral. "David, we have to talk."  
"Yeah, sure. But what happened here? I thought you loved this Society. You created it, it seemed all that you lived for."  
"Yes... It was. But I've been so busy with other things."  
David looked at her. "Then why did you shut it down? Why did-"  
"David I think we should break up."  
There was silence in the room. He stared at her blankly, his jaw dropping slightly. His voice seemed hurt. "What? Why?"  
"I can't see you anymore."  
David felt himself hovering over nothing, like the ground had fallen away beneath him. He looked at her in a daze. "But... Was it... I mean was it something I said, or did... because, I can fix it, Faith. I can. Please, just tell me what it is, and I'll-"  
"I don't have time for a relationship, David. There are other... more important things in my life. I've found my calling. My mission. I have to give myself completely to it."  
David finally got it. "Trevor? You have to devote more time to Trevor? You can't be serious."  
Faith nodded, undisturbed, like it was all so obvious. "It's what I'm meant to do."  
"But, but he's just some nut! Faith, don't do this. Please don't. You don't have to give up so much-"  
"I'm not giving up anything. Maybe someday you'll understand that. It's just.." Faith suddenly remembered Claire's phrasing. "It's the way it is. Goodbye, David."  
She began to leave, walking past him. The rest of the room was empty, chairs scattered haphazardly around them. David turned and watched her go, still in shock. He called out to her, his voice soft.  
"But I think I'm in love with you..."  
Faith stopped and turned to look at him, but she didn't come back. "I'm sorry for that..." There was the tiniest bit of sympathy in her eyes, almost hidden. But she turned, and without another word left him there in the room alone.  
David exhaled, trying to take in all that had happened. Trying to grasp it all. He looked around, at the rich sunlight flowing in through the windows, bathing the empty podium in color. Suddenly he noticed it, outlined in the golden rays. It was the small Cupid statue. Faith had left it behind. She no longer needed it. The cherub's small metal face smiled at him, the notched arrow with the bell hanging from the tip pointed right at his chest. Rays of sunlight shot past it into the dusty room.  
David plopped down into one of the empty seats, sadly dropping his head into his hands as the room remained silent around him.  
  


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	5. when page 5

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It was probably going to be a good night for once.  
Trevor was smiling as he looked around Taggerty's. It was fairly crowded but not too much so, and the music on the jukebox was thumping over everything. He smiled contentedly as he made his drinks, standing behind the bar, making comments left and right to the patrons lined up at the railing. Things were finally starting to look better. Trevor took another glance around the room, happy for once to be completely Faith free. He hadn't seen her anywhere.  
"There you go, tiger." He said as he handed a handsome young man his drinks. "Hey, I have a little godly hunch that it's gonna be a good night for you... I can feel it. And hopefully, you'll feel it too before the night's over if things go really well.. I have faith, man." Trevor blinked, realizing what he had said, and awkwardly trying to correct himself. "Wait... umm, I mean that I believe. Yeah, that's... that's what I meant. Go get her, studly. Show a love god how it's done."  
"Thanks Trevor."  
Trevor watched the man leave, eyes following him across the bar. That guy was one of the several little schemes he had going on all across the room, trying to set up couples. He effortlessly kept track of all of them at the same time, for once completely on his game. So far, so good. No slaps. No drinks in the face. No problems. Everything was running smoothly. Maybe the dry spell was finally over. Maybe he really had just been paranoid.  
It helped that Faith wasn't there. It helped that he didn't have to second guess himself because of her. He wished Claire were around, so he could tell her that he was back to his old self. And maybe to gloat a little. Ok, maybe a lot. Looking up, he watched the man he had just given the drinks to walk across the room, smiling. Then Trevor's eyes stopped, backtracking when he saw someone new. He watched carefully, looking at a red headed woman, seated alone at one of the tables near the bar. Nice figure. Very cure. Maybe he could find...  
Trevor's eyes suddenly widened. His heart sank when he realized who it was. It was Faith, disguised in a red wig, sitting nearby. She was trying her best to blend in, keeping to herself, but Trevor recognized her instantly.  
He threw down his towel, hands angrily unknotting the apron he wore around his waist. Trevor had had enough. This was it. Stepping out from behind the bar, he headed over towards Faith, fully prepared to confront her and ask her to leave immediately.  
As he strode resolutely towards her, Faith still had her back to him. But Trevor never made it over to where she was, interrupted instead by two pretty, laughing coeds who were obviously having a particularly good time, stumbling nervously out of the crowd. Smiling, they stepped in front of his path, stopping him in his tracks as they started to flirt rather heavily with him.  
"Excuse me," The brunette smiled at Trevor as she spoke. Behind her, the blonde that was with her looked him up and down appreciatively. "Is it really true that you're actually the god of love like everyone says?"  
Trevor's mouth paused, glancing over at Faith in her disguise, only a few feet away. He could tell she was listening, even with her back turned. Her shoulders were tensed with awareness. Trevor looked back at the eager coed smiling before him. "Ummm... No. I'm not. Sorry. You must have me confused with someone else..."  
With her face still turned away from him, Faith blinked at what Trevor said, confused, not understanding. But she didn't turn around.  
  
"She did what?" Claire said.  
Richard sighed in his office, holding the phone to his ear as he answered her. "I only just heard about it myself, Claire. I was just on my way out of my office when I got the call. Mary shut down her Eros Society today. She disbanded the whole chapter."  
Claire blinked, considering the new information. She was holding her cell phone to her ear as she drove her car, the other hand in a fist on the top of her steering wheel. "But... why would she do that?"  
Richard shrugged, even though he knew Claire couldn't see him. Standing in his office, he was still gathering his things for home as he spoke into the phone. "I don't know. Perhaps it's some sort of pre-emptive strike. You know, shutting it down on her own terms before the university closes it down for her like they did in New York. Maybe she shut it down to keep some sense of control..."  
Claire shook her head, phone against her ear as she rounded a street corner with her car. The light of the sunset slid across her windshield. "But if her previous reaction is an indication, her Eros Society was a major part of her delusion. It meant a lot to her, Richard. How could she so easily , so willingly, give it all up?"  
Richard didn't seem concerned. "I'm sure it's nothing. One of the students mentioned that 'Faith' said she had to devote more time to her new 'mission'. Whatever that is. That's probably all it means."  
A chill went threw Claire as she drove, her voice a whisper. "Trevor..."  
Richard didn't understand. "Hmm?"  
"Trevor's the mission. My god, that's it."  
Richard shook his head. "Trevor? I doubt that's it. Really, there's nothing to worry about, Claire. She's just adjusting the parameters of her coping mechanism so that-"  
Claire seemed worried, her car turning another corner. "No, Richard. You don't understand. I spoke with Mary yesterday. I mean... Faith. At Taggerty's. She told me that now she believes that the sole purpose for her whole life was to reach this point. To help Trevor. To stop me from 'curing' him. To keep him the god of love. Don't you see? You told me how fragile she is. She's consolidating. Putting all her eggs in one basket--"  
Richard shut his briefcase, grabbing his coat. "It's just a coping phase. It'll pass."  
Claire shook her head, sunlight in her eyes. "No it won't, Richard. With all her eggs in one basket, there's a greater chance that they'll crack. That her house of cards will finally fall apart. She could have another self destructive little episode. Faith's become obsessed with Trevor. And he's already told me that he's really getting tired of her attentions. I don't know what Trevor will do. Faith could get hurt if he rejects her."  
Richard smiled at Claire's concerns, already leaving his office, turning back to lock his door. "I think you're over reacting. Mary will be fine. Maybe getting rid of the Eros Society is a good step. Maybe she's finally letting go of some of her delusion, and I can finally get to the core problems I suspect the delusion's covering."  
"But what if-"  
Richard laughed softly at her persistence, finding it charming. "Look, I'll see if I can schedule an appointment with Mary tomorrow. It'll be fine. I'm sure it can wait until then. I just decided to call you about this because I thought that you would like to know. No other ulterior motives. Like... I don't know, wanting to talk to you or anything. Really, I swear..." Richard grinned to himself.  
Even Claire didn't believe that, smiling. "Right..."  
"It'll be fine, Claire. I've been working with Mary for several months now. It's just going to take some time for her to get better. And as long as there are no major disruptions to whatever this new delusional construct of her's is, she'll be fine..."  
  
Faith couldn't believe what she was hearing.  
The two coeds were still talking to Trevor, standing near Faith and asking him more questions, openly flirting with him. They seemed a little confused by his denials, but they weren't giving up, not completely buying his story.  
"Oh come on," The blond smiled, touching Trevor's arm. "Are you sure that you're not Cupid? Because I know that you're exactly how one of my girlfriends described you to me... And that's a good thing."  
Trevor shrugged, taking a quick glance at Faith's back where he knew she was still listening. "What can I tell you. I ain't him. Sorry."  
"Are you sure?" The woman looked at him seductively. "Because me and Becky were really... REALLY, looking for a god of love tonight. We were hoping he could... umm, teach both of us a few things." She bit her lower lip provocatively. "Together."  
Trevor seemed uncomfortable, maybe from a sudden lack of blood to his brain. "I'm really... _REALLY_, sorry. You," Trevor coughed, feeling very aware of his whole body at that moment. "You have _NO_ idea how sorry. But I'm not him."  
  
Claire still held the phone against her ear, not really convinced by what Richard had said. She sighed anyway, eyes on the road in front of her. "Ok, Richard. I guess you're right. And thank's for calling me about Faith, by the way."  
Richard smiled, stopping in the hallway outside his office. "Sure. No problem. I'm glad we're collaborating on this Dr. Allen. But I was wondering... would it be okay if I called you again? Updates and such?"  
Claire smiled, enjoying the long absent attention of someone like Richard. "Sure. Updates will be fine."  
"Updates over, say... dinner sometime?"  
Claire laughed. "I'll have to get back to you on that one." She grinned at his latest attempt. "But we'll keep in touch about this. I promise. Thank you, Richard."  
He nodded happily. "No problem. I'll call you tomorrow if I learn anything new."  
"Or even if you don't, I imagine."  
"Just trying to be thorough. Goodbye, Claire."  
"Goodbye, Richard."  
Richard turned off the cell phone and dropped it into his coat pocket with a grin. He couldn't help it. He was calling Claire tomorrow. It seemed like a promising beginning. Exhaling, he thought about Claire with a smile. "Well... that's a good start."  
Richard finally walked away from his office, done for the day as he headed home.  
Claire lowered the phone from her ear as she drove. Her smile at Richard's flirting slowly began to fade. She couldn't explain it. She knew he was handsome, charming. But something was missing. She just didn't feel... something. Not the same something she felt with... Suddenly Claire felt guilty talking to him and she didn't know why. Slowly, she grew more worried as she thought more and more about what Faith had done. Faith was devoting herself to Trevor. Claire knew it. Richard didn't seem all that concerned, but it bothered Claire.  
Her brow furrowed slightly. Maybe it really was nothing. But she should at least tell Trevor what had happened. Besides, she hadn't seen him lately, and this was as good an excuse as any to do that. And the thought of seeing him, made her feel better somehow.  
Claire was about to turn the car towards Taggerty's when she realized she had sub-consciously been driving there all along. The front windows of the bar were already there in front of her. A new smile formed on her face as she thought about Trevor, pulling up to the curb. As she got out, the last rays of the sun disappeared behind some storm clouds moving slowly in overhead.  
  
The two coeds seemed supremely disappointed by Trevor's continued refusals. "Oh well. That's really a shame." The pretty blonde smiled, tilting her head. "If you suddenly change your mind... you know where to find us. Both of us."  
Trevor nodded, smiling. "Unfortunately, I doubt that I'll get that lucky."  
The brunette smiled. "Never say never..." The two women walked away, and a man sitting at the bar behind Trevor, having overheard, turned around and grabbed Trevor's arm. "Are you nuts?"  
Trevor laughed. "Depends who you ask."  
"Do you know what you just turned down?"  
Trevor sighed, watching both of the shapely coeds walk away. "Believe me, I know."  
"Why did you say all that stuff to them? Last week when you tried to set me up with that figure skater, you told me that you _were_ Cupid."  
"Umm..." Trevor looked over to where he knew Faith was eavesdropping, keeping his voice level. "Well... I'm coming clean. I'm not him. OK? It's all been an act. I'm not the god of love. Never was..."  
Faith blinked, bewildered as she listened. She had heard everything. Pulling back, she seemed shocked at what Trevor had said, confused at what he was doing. No longer caring about her disguise, Faith slowly turned in her seat to look at Trevor, her expression dumbfounded.  
Trevor stared Faith straight in the eye as he stood there, feeling angry, his face hard. But he didn't say anything to her. Instead he walked past her and across the bar, heading for the stage, knowing what he had to do. It was time for some drastic measures on his part.  
As Faith watched him, Trevor bounded up on the empty stage platform, spreading his arms as he turned towards the crowd.  
"Hey! Listen up everyone. Everybody. Over here! Guy trying to talk here!"  
The busy crowd went quiet, as every eye in Taggerty's turned towards Trevor once he got their attention.  
"Ok. Listen up everyone. I've got something to say." Trevor looked down and swallowed, trying to get the courage to continue.  
The front door to Taggerty's opened, and Claire walked in, smiling. She quickly noticed where everyone was looking and her eyes followed them to Trevor. He looked like he was about to make an announcement, standing there in front of the crowd. Claire blinked, wondering what was going on, when she recognized Faith in the crowd. Faith was watching Trevor with a confused expression on her face as Claire stepped forward.  
Trevor continued. "Hey guys. Hope you're all having a good time tonight. I, uhh... I hate to break this too you but..." Trevor seemed reluctant, glancing quickly at Faith before he continued. "Uhhh... I have a confession to make, and I just wanted the whole bar to hear it. Just so you all know, I won't be setting up couples anymore. I'm done doing that. Because I am not now, nor have ever been, CUPID the god of love. It was all an act, OK? It wasn't real. And it's over now. I'm not Cupid. That's... that's all." Trevor stepped off the stage.  
Claire eyes widened at what Trevor had just done, her worst fears coming to life. From where she was sitting, Faith seemed shocked too by what Trevor had just said, whispering softly to herself. "No..."  
The room was full of confused faces as Trevor walked back towards the bar. Claire looked over once at Faith with concern, before pushing her way through the crowd towards Trevor. "Trevor... Trevor!" She tried to get his attention, but he didn't hear.  
Trevor heard the murmur around him and he stopped, calling out to the room again. "Just to recap! Not Cupid. NOT!" He pointed to himself. "Just Trevor Hale. Ordinary mortal. No Cupid to be found! Thanks for your time..."  
"Trevor!" Claire whispered angrily as she finally reached him. She grabbed his arm and yanked him away, dragging him off to one side. She was absolutely incredulous. "Trevor! What are you doing?"  
Trevor looked at her, blinking a little at Claire's reaction. "I'm going on vacation. I've got to get a Mary off my back."  
Claire looked around at all the nearby customers in ear shot, and she yanked him forcefully away, pulling him angrily to a more secluded corner.  
"Trevor, why did you say all that!" Claire whispered angrily. "You can't just play games like this! Things like this have real consequences, on REAL people! This isn't some shooting gallery test range for the amusement of the gods. This is real life! You can't do this!"  
Trevor looked into her eyes, not really understanding. "What? Why not? I just told everyone in this bar that I was no longer Cupid, the god of love. You, of all people, should be happy for me."  
Claire was upset. "Well, I know better Trevor! I know it's not that easy! I know you're only doing it to try and get rid of Faith!"  
Trevor didn't see why she was so upset. "But this is what you always wanted. Isn't it?" He looked into Claire's beautiful brown eyes. Her face seemed so near, as they whispered frantically to each other.  
Claire paused, sighing. "Yes it is, Trevor. That _is_ what I want. But _this_... isn't that. Not when I know the real reasons why you're doing this! Trevor... Look, I shouldn't tell you this but... Mary's a 'patient', OK? She's a patient of Dr. Dehnt."  
Trevor grinned, leaning closer, turning his ear towards her. "A what?"  
"A patient, Trevor. She's in therapy."  
Trevor smiled, teasing her as he pulled back. "Wow, you really do have a problem keeping that doctor-patient confidentiality thing going, don't you?"  
"Trevor!" Claire seemed exasperated, grabbing his arm. "This is serious!"  
"Umm, sure..." Trevor nodded in agreement, suddenly distracted as he looked down at her touching him. With Claire's hand on his arm like that, he probably would have agreed with anything she said. "Serious... right. Absolutely, Claire."  
Claire continued, talking softly, hoping no one else could hear her. "Faith's in therapy, Trevor. She's a patient and she need help. She's very fragile right now. Faith shut down her Eros Society today. And I'm almost positive it's to devote more time to... well,_you_."  
"Then all the more reason why I should-"  
"No, Trevor! It's not! Can't you see that she's betting everything on you now? Her entire delusion is built on you! She could be adversely affected if you suddenly 'claim' not to be Cupid. So..." Claire nodded, looking into Trevor's eyes.  
Trevor finally got it. "Wait. You're encouraging me to BE Cupid? Wow. That's a switch."  
"No, Trevor. I don't _want_ you to be Cupid. I really wish this little public confessional you just performed was actually real. But you can't just rip away Mary's facade like that."  
"Wait, I'm confused. Are we talking about Mary or Faith?"  
Claire waved it off. "Same difference...."  
"Claire, I..." Trevor shook his head. "I can't do this anymore! It's the only way I know to get her off my back. I can't do my job with her hanging around!"  
"Trevor, listen to me. I'm not sure she's ready for something like this-"  
"Well I've had it, Claire. Maybe it's time for some tough love..." Trevor's jaw hardened as he looked over at Faith. He started to walk over to her.  
Claire quickly tried to grab him, but he was out of reach. "Trevor, no! Trevor!" She sighed to herself, her voice soft and resigned. "Like he ever listens to me..." Taking a breath, Claire followed in his footsteps, walking right behind and not giving up as she whispered to him.  
"Trevor. Trevor, don't... Trevor!"  
Claire was about to protest further but she stopped when they came closer to Faith. Claire stepped back, trying to look calm and not exacerbate the situation, hoping for the best.  
Faith looked up as Trevor approached, still a little confused. Trevor smiled at her.  
"Faith, hello. Didn't see you there. Could I talk to you for a second..."  
Claire touched Trevor's shoulder again, whispering to get his attention. "Trevor..." He waved her away, throwing an arm around Faith once she rose from her chair. Guiding her away, they started to walk.  
"Faith, I'm sorry it's come to this."  
Faith looked at him. "What's... what's going on? What was with that little speech you just made? Why were you saying those things?"  
Trevor nodded. "Right. The Cupid thing. I never wanted to lie to you, Faith. To be honest, I never expected anyone to take it seriously. It was all just a goof... a fun little act at first. I never meant to hurt anybody. But I see that you really do believe me, and I can't lie to you anymore."  
Faith blinked. "What are you saying?"  
He squeezed her shoulder in sympathy. "Look. I'm coming clean with you. I'm not really Cupid. I'm actually... I'm actually R.P. Hale. I was a professor. A professor of Classical Mythology at NYU. This entire Cupid thing's been a lie. I needed it for awhile, but I don't anymore. Of course, Claire found out who I really was right off. I mean, first day. But I couldn't admit it to her. I just couldn't. So I kept up the act because, well... I'm attracted to Claire. I think.... I think I might love her. I don't know why, but..." Trevor's voice suddenly softened with sincere emotion. "I can't get enough of her. She's in my every thought, my... my every dream. It's like she's a part of me. A part I never knew I had. And I know that if I'm cured... that if I'm ever fixed, I'll never see her again. I couldn't accept that. So I played the lie. And did my best to believe it. Until today. Today I realize that I can't live my life that way anymore. It's hurting you, and it's hurting me. I'll just have to take my chances as a ordinary man. Because that's what I am. I'm sorry I had to tell you all this..."  
Faith looked at him in disbelief. "But... that's not true."  
Trevor nodded. "It is true. I've never told anyone the whole truth before. It feels... liberating."  
Faith's eyes were suddenly full of desperation. "But... but what about your hundred beads? What about you getting home to Olympus. Going to a home where it's safe?"  
Trevor shook his head. "I'm not going to do any of that anymore. Setting up couples, all that. It's over. I'm done. No more beads. No more matches. It's..." Trevor sighed. "It's the way it is."  
"No..." Faith watched him, feeling her world shatter. "No... It's not true. I don't believe it. Why are you doing this to me? Haven't I been faithful enough?"  
"I'm not doing anything to you, Faith."  
There was an anger simmering in Faith's voice. "Wait... She did this, didn't she?"  
"What?"  
"Claire. She's finally convinced you. You're doing this because of her. She's made you stop believing that you're Cupid."  
Trevor sighed. "You got that in reverse. I was doing the Cupid thing _for_ her in the first place. But I'm doing this for me. I just can't leave things like this anymore. I'm not Cupid. I never was."  
Faith actually stepped back, her face stunned, hurt. She couldn't believe what she had just heard. Finally she shook her head, deciding not to believe it.   
"No. It's not true. You're really Cupid, Trevor. I know you are. You're a god. You're immortal. You're really Cupid even if you no longer believe it yourself."  
Trevor didn't seem upset. He stepped back from her, lifting his hands in surrender. "I don't know what to tell you, Faith. I'm not Cupid. Sorry. I can't make you believe me."  
Trevor turned and walked away, leaving Faith standing there in the middle of the crowded, happy room. He walked up to Claire, pausing as he passed her, to whisper quietly into her ear, not looking back to where Faith was. "I didn't want to have to do that, Claire. I really didn't."  
With a sigh, Trevor walked away, heading for the bar. Claire looked over at Faith, watching her carefully. She was worried, wondering how Faith would react.  
Faith still stood in the middle of the bar, stunned. She blinked, shell shocked by what Trevor had just said. Then she shook her head no, turning away, not seeing Claire there at first. But finally she did see Claire there, and she glared at her coldly, as if this were all Claire's fault. Claire was about to say something to her, but Faith shook her head in disgust, turning away.  
Claire's brow furrowed in concern, watching Faith walk away. She had seen it in Faith's eyes. Faith didn't believe it. She didn't believe Trevor. She hadn't changed her mind. She still believed that Trevor was Cupid. And now Faith blamed her. But beneath all that, Claire had seen something else. Hurt. Hurt at what Trevor had done to her.  
Finally, Claire turned to the bar, walking back to where Trevor was already busy working again. He looked up and smiled at her soberly, making drinks. The music continued around them, as the crowd started to have a good time again, even if most still wondered what had gotten into Trevor tonight.  
Faith looked back once at Trevor and Claire quietly together, thinking to herself. Her thoughts were twisted and jumbled, not knowing what to do. Finally she turned sadly and left, opening Taggerty's front door. It closed shut behind her, shutting her out, and the dark night sky beyond it, out with her.  
  
It was getting late as Trevor finally walked home from work. He was alone on the dark sidewalk as a cool breeze that hinted of coming rain slid over the cement. The tree leaves danced in the wind above him, and the night sky churned with storm clouds, waiting to release their moisture.  
Trevor sighed, a little tired. He thought about what had happened tonight. About what he had had to tell Faith. As he walked, he was thinking about her, about the look he had seen in her eyes. But deep down, he knew it was for the best. For him and for her. She hadn't returned to the bar after she had left, and Trevor allowed himself to hope that maybe it was all finally over. Still, even if it was... he didn't have to like what he had done.  
Trevor rubbed his forehead as he walked, heading home. He looked up at the dark sky above him. The clouds hidden in the blackness far above flashed silently from within, lightning deep inside them, hidden away. Thunder rumbled overhead seconds later, soft and ominous. Trevor paused, listening, half way expecting some sort of message from someone he knew up there. Finally he smiled, realizing how ridiculous that was.  
Sighing, he walked up the steps leading into his building, feeling very tired... until he was suddenly brought to a halt. Trevor blinked, trying to remember if he had just seen... Turning slowly, he realized with a start that he was right. Faith was there, standing silently on the sidewalk beneath him. With a weary sigh, Trevor turned to face her, standing at the top of the steps as he looked down at her.  
Trevor's voice was tired, soft. "Faith... What are you doing here."  
Faith smiled, as if nothing had changed between them. "I've been waiting for you, Trevor. I came to see you."  
Trevor almost couldn't fight it anymore, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "Yeah, what about..."  
Faith blinked. "To help you get home, of course. To help you get back to Olympus. What else? We need to talk. We need to find a way to get some of those beads moving."  
Trevor exhaled angrily, glaring at her. "You never listen, do you?" Thunder rumbled overhead.  
Faith laughed, a light, casual sound. But there was more fear in it than mirth. More desperation than certainty. She couldn't hide the concern in her eyes, no matter how non-chalant a front she was trying to put up. "What do you mean?" she said. "All that stuff back at the bar? About how you're not really Cupid?" Faith's voice almost shook a little, not as confident as she wanted to be. "I-I know you were just testing me, Trevor. Testing my faith. What else could it be? And I passed... right?" She looked longingly up at him for approval.  
Trevor came quickly down the steps towards her, angry. He opened his mouth to say something, but he stopped himself. He lifted a hand into the air to calm himself, reigning his emotions in, as he slowly stepped back.  
"Faith... Just leave me alone, alright? I'm not the person you think I am." He began to turn and step up to the building's front door again.  
"I can't do that, Trevor."  
Trevor turned back to her and shook his head, his jaw forming a hard line, filled with annoyance. He looked down at Faith standing on the sidewalk . "What's it gonna take?"  
Faith blinked. "I don't understand."  
"What's it gonna take to get rid of you? What's it gonna take to get you out of my life?"  
Faith didn't know how to answer that. "But... But, I-"  
Trevor realized he was going to have to be more blunt, otherwise this was never going to stop. He stepped towards her again, face as hard as stone. "Faith... Do you really... REALLY believe that I'm Cupid?"  
"Of course."  
"That I'm the god of love?"  
"Without a doubt."  
"Swell. Great. Then you should really listen to what I have to say. The gods don't like it when you cross them. Believe me, I should know. Consider it a decree. From the gods that you supposedly put your faith in."  
"What do you mean?" Faith asked.  
Trevor told her straight out, leaving no room for sympathy in his voice, knowing he would have to be harsh. "Faith... I never, ever, want to see you again. OK? Is this registering inside that head of yours? Never... ever again." He started for the door.  
"You don't mean that."  
"Yes I do." Trevor turned to face her again, his voice hard. "I do, Faith. I'm sick of this! I don't want to see you, I don't want to talk to you. I don't want your help--I don't need your help! I want you to leave me alone and to get out of my life! Get it? Do you get it? Do you understand that Faith?"  
"But I-"  
"No!" Trevor shook his head. "No buts! No what if's or maybes. Alright? Just leave... me... alone." Angry, Trevor turned and headed up the steps again towards the front door.  
Faith stayed where she was, looking up at him. Her eyes were beginning to moisten over, filling with tears as her expression crumbled. Thunder rumbled overhead. Her voice was soft, hurt, almost wailing.  
"Why are you doing this to me?"  
Trevor grabbed the doorknob into his building, hearing the despair in her voice, despair he had caused. He lowered his head, closing his eyes in sympathy, but not facing her. He couldn't stop now. He had to finish this, no matter how hard it was. Turning around, his eyes were looking at her coldly as he slowly stepped back down, approaching her.  
"Faith, I never want to see you again. This isn't some test. I'm not testing you. This, all of this... it's over. Because I'm NOT Cupid. I'm not the god of love. I'm just Trevor Hale. And I want you to leave me alone. Please stop fighting me. I know what you want me to be, but I'm not that! No matter how much you want it to be true. It's finished. It's all over now. You can't get it back. Just... let it go, Faith. Just... please, just... let it be... Let it be, Faith."  
Trevor looked at her, thunder rumbling as Faith softly gasped in sorrow and a tear fell down her cheek. Turning, Trevor swallowed to himself, and walked up the steps. He opened the door and went inside the apartment building, leaving her there, sobbing all alone on the sidewalk as the door closed behind him.  
Faith felt her world collapse around her. The one thing, the one person she had devoted her whole life to, had rejected her. She cried openly, all alone as suddenly there was a soft hiss and she was suddenly drenched in falling rain. Thunder rumbled overhead, but Faith barely noticed, still crying. Her hair quickly hung straight down the sides of her face, soaked. The tears flowing freely down her cheeks were lost in the rain drops clinging coldly to her skin. Her shoulders shook, pelted in drops of water, sobbing softly.  
Inside the building, the opaque glass of the front door glowed with the light of the streetlamps outside. Trevor paused in the dark entry way, closing his eyes, outlined against the opaque window. He could hear the rain falling outside. Turning, he forcefully punched a wall, his face twisted with sadness at what he had had to do. He reached to his cheek, wiping away a tear of his own.  
Trevor gasped, holding it all in as he tried to compose himself with a deep breath. Finally he walked away from the closed door behind him, heading up the stair well and towards his apartment.  
"Trevor..?"  
Faith's voice was soft, almost indecipherable.  
Outside it was still pouring, raining heavily as she called out to him. Faith hadn't moved from her spot, expecting him to return, to tell her that he didn't mean it. Her clothes were soaked as she cried. She watched the door Trevor had closed, waiting. The rain was pelting the step in front of it, falling hard, causing a swarm of little splashes. The sound of the falling water overwhelmed Faith's crying. She looked at the door to the building, waiting. But Trevor didn't come back. And finally... Faith realized that he wasn't.  
Her lips hung open in despair. "I've lost him..."  
With her face covered in raindrops, Faith sadly lowered her head, crying... her tears lost in the rain.  
  


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	6. when page 6

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It was sometime later when Champ and Jaclyn rushed from the street and in through the front door of the building, going inside. They were both giggling, laughing at being in the thick downpour, water on their shoulders and faces. The sidewalk outside had been empty.  
Still giggling, Jaclyn fell into Champ's arms, laughing into his chest with delight. Champ was laughing too, holding her close. She tilted her head up and kissed him tenderly, wiping raindrops off his face. Champ kissed her back, wrapping his arms tightly around her, almost lifting her off her feet and making her giggle even more.  
Together, they began to slowly walk up the stairs to Champ's apartment, lightly kissing each other all the way. Champ smiled, stoping to wipe the rain from her cheek.  
"You got all wet..."  
Jaclyn's eyes looked at him with adoration. "I don't care..." she said with a smile.  
They had reached the top of the stairs, standing in the hallway outside Champ's door.  
Champ caressed her cheek delicately, softly drying it with his fingers. "Even rain looks good on you. I have to admit... I'm a little jealous."  
"Of what?"  
Champ smiled. "The water on your skin."  
Jaclyn touched his moist face softly in return. "You shouldn't be..."  
"Oh really?" He took her into his arms with a smile, deciding to play along. "And why's that?"  
"Because unlike the rain on my skin," Jaclyn looked warmly into his eyes, "You won't rinse away from me so easily."  
Champ lifted her chin, dropping his face to hers to kiss her again. They stood there in each other's arms, kissing passionately. As the kiss grew in intensity, small, petite Jaclyn actually shoved Champ against his apartment door with a thud, kissing him deeply.  
At that moment, Champ didn't care what Jaclyn did ever again. He just wanted to be there with her. As he kissed her with his eyes closed, he felt something on the back of his neck. It felt like a piece of paper.  
Champ's eyes fluttered open, and after a few moments, there was no mistaking it.  
"Jaclyn... I feel something on my neck..."  
Jaclyn moaned, still kissing him over and over. "I know. I feel great too...."  
"No..." Champ was finally able to get the willpower to reluctantly break their kiss, bringing both their bodies off his front door.  
"Wait... Jaclyn, hold on."  
Jaclyn pulled back with a smile. She looked either way down the hallway, trying to straighten her clothing, realizing they both had gotten a little carried away... yet one more time. But the happy glow in her eyes said that she was already willing to let that delightful indescretion happen again.  
Champ turned around, looking at the door behind him. He was right. There was a note, a folded piece of paper of some kind, taped to his apartment door. Curious, he pulled it off.  
Jaclyn noticed the paper too, as curious as he was. "What is it?"  
"I don't know." Champ unfolded the note and began to read. As his eyes travelled over the paper, the happy expression on his face fell away. He looked at Jaclyn, concern in his eyes, and she wondered what was going on.  
Trevor was in his bedroom with the lights out. He was sprawled across his recliner, looking sadly out the window as rain pelted the glass with a quiet patter. The light from a distant streetlight cast a pale blue glow onto his face, distorted and blurred by the water hitting the window and dripping downward.  
Trevor sighed, alone. The living room behind him was lit by the soft yellow glow of a lamp, but it's light didn't reach to the shadows where Trevor sat. Suddenly, far behind him the apartment door burst open as Champ and Jaclyn rushed in.  
Trevor heard the noise and turned around. Startled, he rose from his chair as both Champ and Jaclyn hurried over to him. He could see the worry in their eyes.  
"What?" Trevor looked at them, not understanding. "Did something happen to Claire? What's wrong..."  
Champ paused, not knowing what to say. Finally he handed over the small note he carried in his hand, giving it to Trevor. "I... I just found this on the front door, Trevor. It's from Faith."  
Trevor took the note, stepping over into the light from the living room to read it. He stood there in the doorway of his bedroom, outlined in black, reading the small slip of paper in his hands.  
"Oh no..." Trevor whispered, his face instantly filling with dread. "No no no...."  
Trevor ran over and quickly grabbed his black overcoat from where it lay drapped over the top of his bed. He rushed out of his bedroom, squeezing past Champ and Jaclyn, who stood there with concerned looks.  
"Trevor," Jaclyn began to ask. "What do we-"  
Trevor didn't stop, racing to the front door. "Call Claire! Tell her I'm heading over there. Do it now!" He rushed out of the apartment, slamming the door shut behind him, running all the way.  
  
The rain was pelting Trevor's face as he ran down the middle of the street, but he didn't care. It was coming down thick and heavy now as the sky above flashed white for a second, before thunder rumbled through the hissing downpour.  
Blinking, Trevor tried to see. His face was wet as he splashed through the water on the street. He had to get to Claire. Claire must know where Faith lived. Or at least know how to find out. They had to find Faith before she... Before she did anything foolish to herself, like...  
Trevor suddenly remembered how far away Claire's house was. In this downpour, it would take him forever to get there on foot. He turned in place, the hem of his coat swinging out and getting drenched. Suddenly he spotted a cab stopped at a nearby intersection, and he ran over. Trevor jumped in front of the cab as it was about to pull away. Raindrops fell frantically past the glare of the headlights as Trevor slammed his hands on the hood of the cab, getting the driver's attention and forcing it to stop abruptly. He quickly ran around to the driver's side window, as the rain continued to pelt both him and the cab.  
Trevor knocked on the window, and it began to roll down. His face wet, Trevor looked in. But he pulled back when he recognized who it was.  
It was the same cab driver he had been arguing with a few days ago, when he had been crossing the downtown intersection, trying to hide from Faith.  
"It's you..." Trevor said, water dripping from his chin.  
The cab driver moaned, recognizing Trevor too. He shook his head, not believing his bad luck. "Why do I always draw the nut cases to my cab? Look, I don't have any money, so-"  
"No," Trevor interrupted. "No, you don't understand! It's nothing like that. This is an emergency!" He reached into his pocket and took out a few crumbled bills, shoving them in at the driver. Trevor shouted to be heard over the rain. "Look I need a ride! I need to get somewhere fast! Please, it's really an emergency!"  
The driver paused, looking him over skeptically. But he could hear the urgency in Trevor's voice, no matter how crazy he looked standing there impatiently in the rain. Sighing, the driver finally nodded, handing Trevor back his money.  
"Get in. This one's on me."  
  
Claire was already on the phone when Trevor opened her front door, rushing over to where she was across the living room. He was soaked to the bone, splashing water across her floor and panting heavily from all his running. He left the front door open behind him, rain still falling outside in the night.  
Sliding awkwardly to a stop, Trevor tried to catch his breath, water dripping down his face. His hair was caked on his head. Claire raised a finger to silence Trevor before he could speak, as she listened to the person on the other side of the phone.  
Dr. Dehnt was at home, and he swallowed, feeling a little overwhelmed by what Claire had just hit him with out of the blue. He searched frantically through his therapy notes spread out before him, going over Faith's case in his memory, trying to remember session after session, searching for clues.  
"I don't know, Claire. I-... I seriously doubt that she'll do anything drastic. My experience with her seems to-" Richard paused, trying to calm his jumbled thoughts. "Umm... I honestly don't think that she would literally harm herself." Richard wasn't even sure what he was saying, swept away in the speed of events.  
Claire gave Trevor a worried look as he stood beside her in her house. She continued to speak to Richard. "But Trevor _did_ find a note on his doorway. She made it sound like she no longer wanted to... she wondered what life was worth living for, Richard. And I presume it's because... well,Trevor rejected her rather publicly today."  
Trevor looked away, not able to face her.  
Richard sighed nervously, alone in his house and feeling way in over his head. For a moment he wondered if his hands were shaking. "Well, umm.... well maybe that's a good thing."  
Claire didn't understand. "Good?"  
"Yeah. Sure. It could force a breakthrough in her. Force her to see how shallow, how false her delusional state has always been."  
"But what about the note?"  
"Faith's always liked to be melodramatic, Claire. I mean, the way she describes her mission, the way she runs her Eros Society. Even the way she shut it down so suddenly. A martyr. She's playing a part. She thrives in the melodrama, but I doubt that she has any-" Richard exhaled nervously, "...any real intentions of going through with something drastic. Look, I'm sure I can work this all out with her in the morning. I've been working with her for a while. I know her. Trust me, this will pass..."  
"Ok." Claire exhaled reluctantly, only slightly comforted by Richard's word's. "Still... I've got the address you gave me. Maybe I'll go over and check that she's ok."  
"I doubt that'll be necessary, Claire. But if you feel the need, be my guest."  
"Ok." Claire said again. "I'll trust your judgement on this, Richard. She is your patient after all. And you do have the most experience with her." Claire paused. "But you are positive... aren't you?"  
Richard froze in his kitchen, looking down at Faith's file laid haphazardly out before him in a frantic jumble. He closed his eyes tightly, uncertain, and deep down... secretly afraid. He didn't want to be wrong. Didn't want to be seen as being wrong. So he kept all the doubt so clearly evident in his eyes... out of his voice, answering confidently. "Yes..."  
"Fine. Thank's again, Richard. I'll talk to you tomorrow."  
"Great. Talk to you then. Bye, Claire."  
"Bye, Richard."  
Trevor rushed over to Claire as she hung up the phone. He reached into his pocket, pulling out the small note Faith had left taped to his door, handing it to her.  
"I did this." Trevor said. "This is all my fault."  
Claire paused, looking down at the note and opening it to read it out loud. "_**Trevor, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I upset you. That was never my intention. I don't know how it all could have went so wrong. How I forced you to reject me like you did. You're the god of love, but now you've stopped believing. Because of me. So now.... I've lost anything that's meant anything to me. I don't know what to do, Trevor. I can't go on like this. Without my faith, what else is there to live for? Trevor... I'm so sorry it had to happen this way.... Faith.**_"  
Trevor nodded, pacing back and forth as he listened to Claire read the note. "We've got to find her, Claire! Before she hurts herself!"  
Claire calmly looked up from the note, turning to Trevor. He was almost frantic, coming closer to her, waiting for her to speak.  
"Well?" He asked impatienly.  
Claire nodded, looking at Trevor and trying to talk in a soothing voice. "That was Dr. Dehnt on the phone. I called him after Jaclyn called me."  
Trevor waited. "And? Does he know where she could be?"  
"Well, he gave me her home address, but-"  
"Great. Let's go. Get your car keys, Claire." He grabbed her by the arm, about to drag her to her still open front door.   
Claire didn't budge, making Trevor stop. She looked into his eyes. "Trevor, wait a second. Dr. Dehnt think's Faith'll be fine. He honestly doesn't think she'll hurt herself. He doesn't think it's in her make-up."  
"What? Are you crazy? You read the note didn't you?"  
Claire nodded. "Yes, but Richard says that Faith likes to be melodramatic, and-"  
Trevor's voice was incredulous. "And you believed him?"  
"Yes, Trevor." Claire blinked, annoyed. "I did. I mean... I do. I trust Richard. I trust his judgement. Faith is his patient and he would have the most experience with her. And he is a fellow psychologist after all-"  
"And what a fine fellow that must make him then!" Trevor shook his head. "Just because he's a psychologist like you are, you instantly believe him. You don't even really know him. I don't see how you can just-... I guess there are all kinds of _faith_, aren't there?"  
"Trevor, she's not even my patient."  
"So that means you shouldn't even be bothered to care?"  
Claire tried to stay calm. "Richard's far more qualified to make any assessment about-"  
"Assessment!?"  
"Yes, assessement Trevor! As in the polar opposite of vague suspicions..."  
Trevor interrupted. "And doctors are never wrong?"  
"Well, no one's infallible, but-"  
Trevor pressed his point. "Have you ever been wrong about one of your patients, Claire? Any of them? Any who suprised you? Who's actions you couldn't predict?"  
Tongue in her cheek, Claire paused, looking silently at Trevor, thinking about her history with him. Finally she turned. "I'll get my car keys..."  
  
A song began to play as Trevor sat in the front of the car with Claire, rain pelting the hood as she drove ot Faith's apartment. It was a slow, sad song. A song of release, or maybe of loss and acceptance. Of letting go. But as Trevor listened, forced to remember his own words to Faith, he could hear a desperate finality to the music as well. He sighed, hoping they would find her in time. The lyrics began, making him remember what he had told her about letting things be.  
  
_When I find myself in times of trouble,  
Mother Mary comes to me,  
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be..._  
  
It was still raining.  
The water came down in dense sheets as Claire waited anxiously, sitting alone in the car. The car wipers were frantically trying to clear the rain from the windshield, sweeping back and forth across the glass, but they were overwhelmed by the thick downpour. Claire's window was open, and she squinted through the watery deluge toward's Faith's apartment building, looking for Trevor. He had run in to see if she was there, and he hadn't come back yet. Water was splashing into the interior of her expensive car, but she didn't care. Sighing nervously, she just wished that Trevor would come back, worried about him. Lightning flashed in the sky. Thunder rumbled overhead as the storm raged on.  
  
_And in my hour of darkness,  
she is standing there in front of me,   
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be..._  
  
Trevor suddenly appeared through the heavy rain, bounding down the steps, his shoes splashing the entire way as he ran to Claire's open car window, leaning in to her.  
He was soaked, eyes full of concern as water dripped down his face. He looked at Claire, worried. "Faith isn't there. In fact... her room mate said she wasn't at David's either She called there to check. And she hasn't come home all night."  
Claire could see it in his eyes. He still blamed himself for this. She tried to offer some sort of solace. "Trevor... I-"  
"We've got to find her, Claire. Where else could she be? She has no where else to go..." His thoughts were suddenly filled with images of all the tall buildings and deep rivers in Chicago. Trevor looked at her, blinking the water out of his eyes. She could hear it in his voice, see him imploring her to help him find her, all with that one wordless entreaty on his face.  
  
_Let it be, let it be...  
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be..._  
  
Claire finally nodded. "Get in, Trevor. We'll drive around. She's got to be around here somewhere. We'll find her."  
Trevor rushed around the back side of the car, still getting pelted by the thick rain. He was momentarily bathed deep red in the light of the car's stop lights. He quickly opened the passenger side door and got in. The twin beams of Claire's headlights illuminated two cones of light, filled with falling raindrops as she pulled away from the curb, leaving Faith's apartment building behind them, alone in the rain.  
  
_And when the broken hearted people,  
Living in the world agree, there will be an answer,  
Let it be..._  
  
The windshield was awash with a blurred array of several different colors, traffic lights shining through in hazy and distorted patterns as the rain flooded everything from view. Claire could barely see where she was going as she drove, barely able to make out the green light above telling her to go ahead. She drove slowly, trying her best to make out what was in front of her. With a worried expression, she looked over at Trevor.  
He was in the seat beside her. Trevor had the car window rolled down, and his head was sticking out the side for a better view, scanning back and forth as he looked, searching frantically across the streets and sidewalks around them for any sign of Faith. His face was getting wet, the rain soaking him, but he didn't care. Trevor kept mumbling to himself softly.  
"This is my fault. If anything happens to her, it's my fault... It all used to be so easy.... Just a game... Point and shoot..... Just a silly game.... I've got to find her..... I... I can't let this happen..."  
Claire watched him silently, concern in her eyes, worried for him. But she didn't stop him. She didn't make him bring himself back into the car. Because she knew. She could hear the self blame in his voice. The blame that he felt. And she knew he had to do this.  
  
_For though they may be parted,  
there is still a chance that they will see,  
There will be an answer, let it be..._  
  
They came to a red light, or at least what seemed to be a red light under the deluge of water. Claire looked over. Trevor was still searching, his head out of the window. Taking a breath, she slowly reached out to him, tenderly placing a hand on his shoulder, comforting him.  
Trevor felt her hand there, but he didn't turn around. There were tears in his eyes, obscured by the water on his face as he looked out the window. But he raised his hand and gently placed it over hers on his shoulder, acknowledging her concern.  
"We've got to find her, Claire."  
Claire tried to keep her composure, hearing the pain in his voice. She turned her palm upward under his, taking his hand into hers, their fingers interlocking, gripping tightly.  
"We will, Trevor. It'll be ok. We'll find her..."  
Trevor seemed frustrated, his field of view limted by the rain obscuring the car windows. He finally grabbed the door handle, letting go of her hand. "I can't see anything this way..."  
Without warning, he opened the door and stepped out into the rain.  
Claire reached for him too late. "Trevor...!"  
He started to walk down the street beside her car, Claire idling slowly forward to keep up with him. He was getting soaked in the thick downpour. But he didn't care. In his mind, maybe it was what he deserved.  
"Trevor, get back in the car! Trevor..."  
He didn't listen to her, turning as he walked slowly forward, searching in every direction. The light turned green, and Claire's car pulled forward, moving slowly through the rain as Trevor looked everywhere. Claire sighed, worried, but she kept pace with him as he walked on the empty streets, as the rain continued to fall heavily all around.  
  
_Let it be, let it be...  
There will be an answer, let it be..._  
  
The pouring rain seemed to stretch endlessly all around them, falling in twisting curtains. The streets were barren and desolate, no one else outside. The rainfall never let up, as they moved all across Chicago, one lonely car on the surface streets, one lonely man walking in front of it, moving slowly, searching. In the distance, the Sears tower loomed behind them, its top blinking with tiny red lights. The sky above it flashed white as Trevor led the car slowly past, and thunder rumbled after the lightning.  
The windshield was still a mosaic of shifting colors, prismed through the rain on the glass as the windshield wipers continued to sweep back and forth constantly, endlessly, beating out a futile, silent rhythm.  
Trevor became lost in his thoughts, face still getting pelted with rain as he walked. He looked up into the sky, desperately searching for answers. He could see thousands of individual raindrops falling slowly towards him, a swarm of tiny beads of light under the glow of a high street lamp. They fell mournfully past the edges of his sight like a silent ballet, and Trevor closed his eyes, beginning to lose hope.  
  
_Let it be, let it be...  
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be..._  
  
Claire paused, looking over at Trevor in her headlights. She didn't know how to tell him. They had been driving around for hours, and they had seen nothing. She put the car in stop and opened her door.  
Slowly she walked towards him, catching up gradually on the street, the rain pelting them both as she came to his side. It quickly soaked her as well, dripping down her face. Softly, Claire touched his shoulder again.  
"Trevor..." Claire looked at him, her eyes filled with sympathy. "We're not going to find her tonight, Trevor."  
Coming to a stop, Trevor nodded, already realizing that himself. "I know. I know, Claire..." He sighed sadly, feeling her hands on his shoulders. He placed one of his hands over hers. Without a word, she led him back to her car, both of them getting in, out of the downpour.  
He pulled his door shut behind him with a sigh, defeated, looking over as Claire got in too, closing her door.  
She watched him, voice soft and concerned. "Trevor, we did our best..."  
He sniffed. "I know." He looked at her sadly, nodding in agreement. Finally he offered her a dejected smile. "I know. Thanks for trying. Really, Sparky. I appreciate you trying to help me. Just... take me home." He began to roll up the still open car window, finally shutting out the sound of the rain outside.  
Claire nodded, her voice soft. "Ok..." She put the car in gear, and turned in the middle of the road, heading back the way they had came, towards Trevor's apartment.  
The road was swimming in water, mini waves flowing across the dark asphalt. More rain was falling, illuminated in the streetlights as Claire's car drove away.  
  
_Whisper words of wisdom, let it be..._  
  
Claire pulled up to the curb outside Trevor's building, and he sadly opened the door, getting out as the rain began to fall on his momentarily drying shoulders again.  
"Trevor..."  
He turned when Claire softly called out to him, leaning in to hear her over the sound of the rain, waiting to close the car door.  
Claire looked into his eyes, trying to offer him some encouragement. "We'll find her tomorrow, Trevor. Me, you, and Dr. Dehnt. She'll be fine. I promise. Ok?"  
Trevor nodded, getting wet again in the rain. "Thank you, Claire. And thank you for helping me. I'm glad you were with me."  
"Sure, Trevor. So was I. I was... glad to be with you." She looked at him fondly. "Get some sleep."  
He nodded, tired. "I better go. You're car interior is getting all wet."  
Claire smiled. "That's ok, Trevor."  
He smiled back at her. "Goodnight, Claire."  
She quickly reached out before he could turn to leave, unexpectedly taking his hand in hers, squeezing it tight. "It'll be alright, Trevor."  
He closed his eyes, feeling her hand in his. For a moment, he forgot everything else around him but her, revelling in her touch, relishing it like warm sunlight on cold skin. Thunder rumbled overhead, filling that perfect... quiet moment. "I know... Goodnight, Claire."  
"Goodnight, Trevor."  
Their hands slipped reluctantly apart, and Trevor closed the car door. Claire watched as he walked through the rain and up to the front door of his building, going inside. Finally she drove the car away, leaving Trevor's building behind.  
  
Thunder still rumbled softly outside as Trevor turned and walked slowly up the stairwell leading up to his apartment, soaked from the rain. His head hung down sadly, despondent over not having found Faith. In the ceiling of the stairwell far above, a light glowed softly, glittering off his wet face.  
  
_And when the night is cloudy,  
There is still a light that shines on me,  
Shine until tomorrow, let it be..._  
  
Trevor suddenly stopped on the stairs and looked up. Faith was standing there. She was at the top of the stairs, a shadow in front of that distant ceiling light. Her wet hair hung straight down the sides of her face like a shawl. The distant light surrounded her head like a halo, making her look almost angelic. Except that she stood there silently, looking down at Trevor, her face tragic, full of despair.  
Trevor blinked, surprised. "Faith..."  
  
_I wake up to the sounds of music,  
Mother Mary comes to me,  
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be..._  
  
Still concerned, Trevor stepped towards her, happy for a moment that he finally had found her. "Faith, where were you all night? We were looking all over for you! Are you ok?"  
"Trevor..."  
Her voice was soft and fragile, filled with a terrible sadness. Trevor had never heard a voice sound like that before. He blinked, growing even more worried as he saw the futility in her eyes, the desperation in her face. Her clothing was drenched, as if she had been walking out in the rain all night. And as Trevor looked at her, for some reason he couldn't get that damn song out of his head, still hearing it.  
  
_Let it be, let it be...  
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be..._  
  
Trevor stepped forward, closer to Faith, wanting to comfort her. But he paused, suddenly reluctant to get any nearer for some reason. He could see how fragile she looked, just standing there.   
"Trevor..." Faith was crying softly, but trying to swallow it back. "Trevor, I know you're a god. You can't lie to me. You... you were supposed to rescue me... I know it. But the truth is... I wasn't worthy enough. So you rejected me..."  
"No, Faith. I didn't rejected you, OK? It wasn't like that. I just... I just think you need some help." Trevor moved one step up, cautious. Somehow he felt that it all hung in the balance. The air seemed to be holding it's breath.  
"I..." Faith was saying. "I just can't live with that rejection, Trevor. I... I can't. I can't go on like this..."  
Faith's arms hung straight down the side of her soaked clothing. It really did seem she had been out in the rain all night. But her right hand seemed to bounce nervously against her hip.  
Trevor looked down, and a chill passed through him. Inside Faith's right hand was a hand gun. It's cold silver metal glistened with drops of rain that clung to its shiny surface.  
The air seemed to stiffen with low thunder. Trevor swallowed, his body going alert, judging his distance to her, wondering how quickly he could move. He took a step forward, cautious, rising towards Faith as he tried to speak in a calming voice.  
"Faith, give me the gun. Please... don't do anything foolish to yourself..."  
Faith didn't seem to hear. "You are a god, Trevor. I know it."  
Trevor nodded, eyes locked on the handgun. "Sure. Yeah... absolutely. Just give me the gun. Life is still worth living. You don't need to hurt yourself, Faith. Please. You have nothing to prove. Everybody sees you now. We're all finally noticing, ok? We believe you. Really. You'll get through this, I promise. We'll get through this together. You and me. Ok? Just... just give me the gun."  
Faith shook her head. "No, you don't understand. You're a god, Trevor. You're Cupid, and you're immortal. And there's only one way to prove it."  
Faith suddenly pointed the gun straight at Trevor and fired a single shot directly into his chest, filling the hallway with a flash of light and thunder.  
Trevor blinked in shock, trying to understand what had just happened. His body seemed to lose all it's weight, the distant light far above now in front of him. Then he realized that he was falling, still in mid-air. His spine crashed violently onto the stair landing between floors behind him, pain slamming suddenly through his body like lightning.... Blood began to spread across Trevor's punctured shirt as he lay there sprawled on the floor, staring dimly at the light far above. It seemed closer somehow. He could hear a soft voice, singing.  
  
_Whisper words of wisdom, let it be..._  
  
The door to Trevor's apartment suddenly flung open, and Champ looked out, having heard the shot. He saw Faith standing there at the top of the stairs, holding a gun in her hand. Champ rushed her without thinking, easily tackling Faith to the ground and wrestling the gun away, kicking it out of reach. Faith didn't fight him at all as Champ lay sprawled over her. Her eyes were full of tears, and she was crying, shocked, looking down the stairs in disbelief.  
"Oh god... oh no what have I done..." she cried.  
Champ held her down, wondering what to do next, when he noticed where Faith was staring. His eyes followed her gaze down the stairs... to where they looked incredulously on Trevor laying there, bleeding... dying. Champ's eyes widened, moistening in despair before he rushed down the stairs to Trevor, calling out, yelling desperately.  
"Help! Someone help! Someone call an ambulance! Help me! Trevor's been shot! Call an ambulance!"  
Champ slid to his knees, frantically taking Trevor into his arms. Trevor's clothes were still soaked with water. He was limp in Champ's grasp, his eyes open slightly but glazed over as Champ looked over Trevor's wound. "Oh... Oh god.... just hang on, Trevor. Somebody help me!" Champ's voice yelped, calling out again.  
Faith was still sprawled on the floor at the top of the stairs, making no attempt to move, weeping softly as other residents began to come out of their apartments.  
Trevor still gazed at the light in the ceiling far above., face still glittering with moisture. Mind hazy, he could almost see the rain outside again, falling sadly past that ceiling light, like he had watched it falling before. Slowly Trevor lifted his hand to his chest, even though his fingers somehow were going numb. But he still felt his blood flowing warmly around them. He was growing faint, dizzy, looking up at that distant light in a daze. His lips began to move, softly forming words that were almost indistinguishable.  
"Quos deus vult perderes, prius dementiat..." he mumbled.  
Champ tried to comfort him, wiping his face. He didn't understand, wondering what Trevor was saying. Finally, he pressed his palms against Trevor's chest too, trying to stop the bleeding like Trevor had done a moment ago. It felt warm flowing on his fingers. Then Champ realized that Trevor was bleeding out his back too.  
"Somebody get an ambulance!" Champ shouted out again, frantic.  
A man appeared at the top of the stairs, keeping a wary eye on Faith. "The call's been made..." He said to Champ. Champ nodded, concentrating on Trevor.  
Champ and Trevor both lay sprawled there on the floor of the landing. Trevor was in Champ's arms, both of them lit by the soft glow of the ceiling light far above.  
Trevor continued to mumble softly, a tear falling down his cheek. His words were starting to get muffled, sounding wet from the inside.  
"Quos deus vult..."  
A single tear rolled down Champ's face as well. Looking into his face, he desperately began to rock Trevor back and forth in his arms.  
"Hold on, Trevor. Please, hold on..."  
  


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	7. when page 7

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Claire breathlessly flung open the emergency room doors, already on the verge of tears. She ran across the well lit room, her eyes frantic. The white walls and floor seemed to shake chaotically around her as she ran. She made her way through the haze of nameless faces and finally reached the reception area. Her voice was fast and nervous, almost indecipherable.  
"Excuse me! You brought in a patient. A man--A man named Trevor Hale! Please, he was shot tonight. Could you--please, if you have anything on him--oh god, let him be alright--If you have anything on him--Do you know where he is? Anything? Is Trevor Hale here?"  
The nurse at the reception desk tried to make sense of her quick stream of words. She could tell Claire had been crying all the way up there. "Please, Ma'am. Calm down. Did you say the name was Trevor Hale?"  
"Yes, Trevor Hale." Claire's eyes glittered with concern, waiting anxiously.  
The nurse checked her computer, calmly typing in the name. "Trevor Hale... Yes. He was brought in a few minutes ago."  
Claire pulled back. For a while she had secretly hoped it wasn't true, that it was some sort of mistake when Champ had called. "What? Where is he? What happened to him? Can I see him?"  
The nurse looked at Claire sadly. "Mr. Hale suffered a gun shot wound to the chest. He's in surgery right now." She nodded towards the emergency room doors, before lowering her eyes in sympathy. "I'm afraid only surgical personnel are allowed inside. I'm sorry, but... right now it's still touch and go."  
Claire's face seemed frozen... and she exhaled softly. So many feelings flowed over her features in that moment, fear, anguish, shock. She didn't know what to say. Or even what to ask, not knowing what else to do. Staring numbly at the nurse, her eyes glittered silently. Finally she breathed in. It was all true. It was all real, all really happening, right now. Still looking blankly at the nurse, she slowly stepped back from the desk between them.  
Claire turned and left the nurse's station, walking reluctantly towards the doors of the surgical bay, trying her best to find the strength not to fall apart on the spot.  
The two small windows in the swinging emergency room doors approached her soundlessly... slowly... waiting for her like some sort of doom hovered on the other side. Silently Claire looked in, watching the swarm of activity in the surgery bay beyond.   
Trevor was dying.  
Doctors and surgeons were everywhere, moving quickly back and forth, all masked and in scrubs. A forgotten metal tray of surgical sponges lay pushed aside, flushed red with blood. She watched the surgeons clustered around the main table, their hands working out of sight as large round lights hovered over them. Then two of the surgeons parted, and she saw Trevor's face, halting her breath. His eyes were closed, a respirator tube shoved down his throat, his body hooked up to several machines. He was unconscious, but she could still see a single tear, falling down from the corner of his eye.  
Claire's lip quivered, almost too small to see. As she watched him there, she breathed in deeply. Her eyes moistened over even more, watching him in desperation. Seeing him hooked up to all those machines, motionless and pale as a marble statue, as all the surgeons worked desperately to save his life. A clear tube snaked away from the table, flowing red with blood. Trevor's blood, sucked away to give the surgeons room to work. Claire realized she was not looking at just some colored liquid. It was Trevor's blood. The blood of a real person she cared about. She closed her eyes again, gasping softly, and the moisture gathering in her eyes finally broke, silent tears rolling down her cheeks. Her world seemed to shatter around her.  
"Don't die, Trevor. Please don't die..."  
There was the sound of footsteps behind her. Claire turned around, not bothering to wipe the tears from her face. It was Champ, looking at her sadly. She glanced down at Champ's shirt, recognizing the small stains on it. Trevor's blood. Champ was silent, not knowing what to say, but knowing what they both were feeling in that moment. Against all that, what words could matter?  
"Claire... I-" he began.  
Her face suddenly crumbled and she rushed into Champ's arms, crying as he held her. She couldn't hold it in anymore. The emotions finally poured out of her like a cold rain, muffled as she sobbed against Champ's shoulder. The world spun around her. He rocked her gently in his arms, trying to comfort her. But there were tears in his eyes too.  
"He's going to make it, Claire. I know he will. Trevor's not finished yet..."  
Claire cried into Champ's shoulder, just wanting so much to wake up from all of this. Both of them were standing in the middle of the floor as other people walked by. The hallway stretched in either direction, filled with hospital workers going about their business, or with visitors wearing concerned faces. It was a busy night. But the two of them stood there alone, crying softly as they held each other, stationary amid the chaos.  
  
It was sometime later and Claire was walking alone. They were still working on Trevor, and she had heard no news. Her crying had stropped for now, but not the ache in her chest, or the ache in her heart. She felt lost, empty. Like she was drifting aimlessly on a sea of her own tears. Gazing blankly ahead, she wasn't even sure where she was going, just walking, moving more out of habit than awareness. The air felt cool on her cheeks, her tears still drying there, as she walked down the bright, antiseptic hallway of the hospital.  
She paused, looking absently over to the open doorway to her left. It's wide double doors were wedged open to either side, and no one else was around. A small room stretched beyond, quiet and serene. Rows and rows of benches made of dark polished wood filled the interior. Rows and rows of empty seats, for a small hospital chapel.  
Claire looked either way down the hallway to see if anyone was watching her, but she was alone. She thought for a moment. Then, reluctantly, she finally turned and walked slowly inside.  
The floor was carpeted under each of Claire's soft steps, as she slowly moved down the center aisle. As her eyes looked sadly at the room around her, the effects of her earlier crying were still visible on her face. The air was motionless, calm, tinged with the waxy smell of candles. The chapel itself was small. A few rows of seats, bathed in much warmer colors than the bright lighting in the hospital corridor outside.  
She continued to walk forward, looking sadly at the silent rows all around, sliding gently by on either side. Finally she reached the front of the chapel. Still preoccupied with her grief, her eyes absently looked up.  
The back wall was a stained glass window, glowing softly, lit by a light outside the hospital, shining in the rain soaked night. She could see the shadows of raindrops on the glass, falling silently between the colored panes and the light outside. Looking to one side she noticed that a crucifix hung above her, suspended in the air over a pulpit. She gazed up at it for a long time, tears coming to her eyes again.  
She kept seeing Trevor there. On that operating room table. She kept seeing that one tear falling down his cheek. Lowering her face into her palms, Claire began to sob softly, her shoulders shaking. The small sound of her helpless crying was soft in the empty chapel.  
Claire finally lifted her head, wiping the moisture off her face. She looked up again, squinting with grief as she breathed in deeply, scared beyond belief. Scared of what was going to happen. She couldn't lose Trevor. She couldn't. Not now. Not now when... when it almost seemed that she had just barely found him. He meant too much to her. Suddenly she remembered being in Trevor's arms. Feeling his lips on hers when he had kissed her out of the blue in front of her office. Remembered feeling herself give in to that kiss for one fleeting moment. And give in to herself. She had wanted so much in that moment to hold him, to caress his face.... but she hadn't. She hadn't dared. She didn't have the courage. And now it seemed that she would never get that chance again, the chance that she hadn't known she had lost. And for what? What reason was worth it? She could almost still feel him there on her lips, and her face crumbled, the tears coming again. She wanted Trevor back. She needed him back.  
Claire gasped, eyes sparkling with grief as she looked up. She wasn't a very religious person. She hadn't been to church for longer than she cared to remember. She was always so pre-occupied with her book, her patients, her career. Besides, she had never been certain that she really even believed in this stuff, not on any rational level. But now she did something she hadn't done in years. She fell silently to her knees in the aisle... and prayed.  
A tear fell down her cheek as she looked up, her voice full of despair. "Please, god... Please not Trevor. Don't take him away from me. Please... not now. Don't take him away..."  
Claire lowered her head, crying. The row upon row of empty benches stretched silently around her. Silent as Claire knelt there, feeling so small... and alone.  
  
Later, Claire was standing beside Trevor's bed in the darkened ICU, his surgery over. He was unconscious. Champ was there too, holding Jaclyn in his arms. They all faced the doctor in front of them. The doctor was talking, or at least so Claire assumed because his lips were moving. But she didn't really hear him as she stared blankly ahead, feeling empty. Like no part of her was even there anymore, still in shock from all that had happened.  
The doctor's voice was soft as he continued.  
"Basically Mr. Hale keeps falling in and out of a partial coma, and he's never regained consciousness. He's stabilized for now, but to be honest, that's hour to hour. He doesn't seem to be responding to any external stimuli... and he doesn't seem aware that anyone else is present in the room with him. But there is still some definite cognitive functioning registering. The, uhhh... bullet fractured a rib at the entry point, causing a shard which partially punctured a lung. The projectile itself grazed the heart. He lost a tremendous amount of blood because the bullet passing right through him. Anyone else would have died from that amount of blood loss alone. But Mr. Hale has a tremendous metabolism. I can't explain it. There was also some concern because the exit wound seemed dangerously close to the spinal column. One of the lower vertebrae was... chipped, but it's still to early to tell if there was any neurological damage as a result. He apparently broke his ankle as well in the fall down the stairs, and there are signs of--"  
Claire began to tune him out, staring blankly ahead. She stared at nothing, almost feeling nothing, as if she had emptied herself of all feeling. Somehow the world went on, but it was ignored around her. Everything else... just felt so small. So inconsequential. Like it was all shrinking slowly towards her, leaving only her, and her stunned face. The sound of the doctor's voice, the monotone sound of Trevor's heart monitor beeping beside his bed, everything else... faded away to silence. Still staring at one insignificant spot in the air in front of her, Claire heard a high pitched hum. A distant, shrill buzz, like listening intently in a totally quiet room. Or listening to a dead phone line... like nothing meant anything anymore. Suddenly, there was an echo of a whisper, Trevor clear in her mind.  
"Claire..."  
Claire jerked her head up, coming back to awareness. The doctor was still talking, but he paused, looking at her, confused by why she had jumped. Champ and Jaclyn were looking at her too. None of them had spoken to her.  
"Sorry..." Claire said softly. "Sorry. Go on...." she told the doctor.  
The doctor nodded. "I'm... afraid there's not much more to tell right now. He's stable, and we're keeping him under observation. We have some more procedures scheduled for the morning." The doctor waited patiently.  
Claire finally noticed him waiting, and she looked up at him. "Yes..?"  
The doctor stepped towards her. "I was wondering, Dr. Allen... You said you were his therapist. Is there any family that we should contact?"  
Claire looked at the doctor for a moment, not sure how to answer. _Does Olympus have a home number?_ Then... she knew, and she looked over at Trevor lying there.  
"We're his family...."  
The doctor seemed to understand, not pressing further.  
Finally Claire nodded at him again. "Thank you, Dr. Raens..."  
The doctor lowered his eyes and turned away, wearily removing the surgery cap from his head as he walked away, quietly leaving the three of them there with Trevor. Claire walked over to Trevor's bedside, the only sound the soft beeping of Trevor's heart monitor. She looked down at Trevor's face, wondering how... _when_ it had become so dear to her. His eyes were closed, for all the world like he was just in some restful sleep.  
Champ and Jaclyn walked over to stand beside the bed as well, across from her. They were all silent for a moment, when Champ finally spoke, lifting his head.  
"Claire, there's something I've been meaning to ask you..."  
Claire finally looked away from Trevor, turning to Champ. "What is it?"  
"Well..." Champ looked at her. "Right after Trevor was shot. He kept mumbling something in Latin. I didn't know what he was saying. It was _Quos deus vult perdere prius dementiat_. He kept saying it over and over again. Do you know what it means?"  
"Yes." Claire looked sadly at Trevor, laying there unconscious in his hospital bed, laying there after Faith had shot him. Trevor. Faith. She wondered which one of them he had been referring to. "It means... _Those whom gods wish to destroy, they first drive mad_..."  
Champ nodded, before holding Jaclyn a little tighter in his arms. Jaclyn's eyes were misty, looking down at Trevor. Champ noticed, and softly kissed her forehead.  
Claire looked over at the two of them comforting each other on the far side of the bed, silent for a few seconds. She was alone on her side. Finally she spoke.  
"Could I have a little time alone with Trevor?"  
Champ and Jaclyn blinked, looking over at her. "Sure, Claire..." Jaclyn said with a soft breath, concern in her eyes but holding it in. "Come on Champ, lets go buy me a cup of coffee..." Champ nodded. With one last glance at Trevor, they both walked quietly away, Jaclyn still in Champ's arms, holding each other close. After a few moments, they were gone.   
Claire was alone with Trevor.  
She quietly took the seat beside his bed, slowly leaning forward. Her hands reached out, gingerly taking his hand between both of hers, holding it tight. It felt limp in her grasp. Claire wiped away a quick tear, laughing softly. "Gee, Trevor. Usually I can't get you to shut up. But now... This is so not like you. I mean, where are all the sexual innuendoes? The offers to find me a loose fitting nurse's uniform and a locked room?"  
Trevor lay there, perfectly still.  
"It doesn't seem right seeing you this way." She took a long breath, watching him. "You're always so active, so brimming with energy, Trevor. So full of motion, so... so full of _emotion_. So full of life."  
There was no reaction.  
"So full of yourself..." Claire laughed sadly, wiping her eyes, looking at him. It didn't really seem like Trevor at all. Not the Trevor she knew.  
Claire was gentle as she lifted his hand, kissing it softly. She leaned forward in her chair, sniffing, her face full of concern and sorrow as she came near him. She looked into his closed eyes, searching, searching for him, for any sign.  
"Trevor...?"  
There was no answer. He hadn't moved at all.  
"Trevor, can you hear me?"  
The room was silent.  
Claire sighed. Trevor had shown no sigh of hearing her. She kissed his hand again, thinking. Finally, she felt herself open up to him, speaking honestly from the heart.  
"Trevor... I know we've had our fights in the past. And I know we don't always agree... or even get along," Claire looked at him sadly, her eyes moistening over. "But I can't imagine my life without you, Trevor..."  
The heart monitor still beeped steadily in the quiet room. Claire held his hand tighter, shifting in her chair as she leaned closer.  
"Trevor, can you hear my voice? I need you, Trevor. More than you know. More than I knew. I need you back... Trevor...?"  
There was nothing. He wasn't responding. It was like he wasn't even there. Or maybe he didn't want to be, not anymore.  
Claire reached cautiously forward, caressing his face softly, tenderly. She pushed his hair back from his head. Her hand moved gently over his cheek, still caressing him. Then, delicately, her fingers touched his lips, tracing cautiously across them with her fingertips. They seemed so delicate, so soft. She felt her fingers tingle on them unexpectedly, remembering. Somehow... it was like those lips were hers. They were her lips. He had given them to her.  
Claire pulled back, surprised at the thought. She brought her hand up to her own lips, remembering. Her lips were tingling with the memory as well, tingling under her fingers. Without a word, she rose from her chair, leaning in over him.  
Her face hovered close above his, watching her hands caress his face beneath her. Then slowly... gently... she lowered her lips onto his... a soft, tender kiss.... as a tear rolled down her cheek, falling onto his face.  
And Trevor took a breath.  
Claire felt it against her mouth, and she almost sobbed with joy.  
"Trevor..?"  
His eyes slowly fluttered open, looking up at her beautiful face, so close to his.  
"Trevor, can you see me?"  
Trevor smiled weakly. His voice was a whisper, tired and hoarse, but she could still hear the mirth in it. "Hey Sparky.... Who... who said we need a locked room anyway?"  
Claire laughed at the sound of his voice. She held his face, kissing his forehead. She hugged him, taking his head into her arms eagerly. "Trevor! You're awake!"   
Pleasingly muffled against her body, he answered. "I am now," Trevor said lightly. He winced as Claire hugged him tighter, still a little sore.  
Claire pulled back, smiling. "Sorry."  
He smiled back at her, using all of his strength to do it. "If you're willing, Claire... I could pencil you in for my sponge bath."  
She laughed. "You really must have lost a lot of blood, Trevor. You're delusional."  
"Not completely." He touched his lips with his fingers, remembering her kiss awakening him. "Talk about role reversal. I don't know if it did anything for you, but... it was good for me."  
Claire hugged him tight, making him wince again. She laughed, laughed to have him in her arms.  
Champ and Jaclyn heard her laughing and rushed in from the hallway, stopping in surprise at what they saw. Claire looked up at them as she held Trevor in her arms, smiling happily as she spoke.  
"Tell the doctor he's awake."  
  
It was morning, and Claire sat with Trevor at his bedside as the sun rose in the window behind them. They were alone in the room. She looked at him, seeing how weak and fragile he still seemed. He was still sore, but he looked at her with a smile, grateful she was there with him.  
Trevor took a long breath. It hurt to breathe. But at least he still had a breath to hurt with. He glanced over at all the machines he was hooked up to. He could hear the heart monitor beeping away beside him. He saw the I.V. dripping beside his bed. All so fragile, so small. But keeping him alive. His eyes began to mist over, growing sad.  
"Trevor?" Claire noticed, sliding forward in her chair, closer to him. "Trevor, what's wrong?"  
"Nothing." Trevor shook his head. "Nothing, Claire..."  
"Are you in pain? Should I call the nurse?"  
"No," he said. "No, it's nothing like that. I was just thinking..."  
She teased him with a smile. "First time for everything. Thinking about what, Trevor?"  
He seemed even sadder. "About that one inch..."  
Claire blinked, not following.  
Trevor looked at her. They were alone, no one else was around. No one else could hear them. So he exhaled... and continued.  
His eyes were brimming with tears. "Claire, one inch over... The doctor told me that if the bullet had been one inch to the right, that I... I would have been..."  
Claire moved to his side, holding his hand, trying to comfort him. "But it wasn't, Trevor. OK? You're ok now. I'm here."  
"Claire..." His voice was soft, almost sobbing.  
"Tell me, Trevor."  
He lowered his head, almost as if he were afraid to admit it to her. His face was full of tears when he looked back up, and he took a deep breath.  
"Claire, I don't want to die. I don't want to leave..." His voice broke, overwhelmed. "I...I don't want to leave..."  
Claire kissed his hand, her voice as soft and desperate as his. "You're not going anywhere, Trevor. Ok? Do you hear me? You're not. You're going to stay here. You're going to live a long life. I won't let you leave me. I'm right here. I'm right here with you, Trevor."  
"Don't leave me, Claire." He lowered his eyes, overwhelmed by how close he had come. "One inch over. One inch..." Trevor gasped softly.  
Claire took him in her arms, and Trevor collapsed against her shoulder. She began to rock him gently, understanding how scared he was for the first time. She had never heard him cry out loud like this before.  
Claire sighed, holding Trevor, not wanting to let go of him. Suddenly nothing else in the world seemed to matter. Nothing else but having him in her arms. She held him tightly, scared too. Scared at how close she had been to losing him. She clung to him, breathing against his neck, wanting him there. Wanting him never to leave her. And for once, not questioning those feelings.  
The sunlight bathed them in bars of golden light falling past their bodies as Claire held Trevor, sitting on his bed. She rocked him as he cried. The room was quiet, falling away, giving them their privacy.  
  
It was night again, and a dark sky hovered outside the window. Trevor's hospital room was dark and in shadows. Claire sat at his bedside. A single fluorescent light glowed above the headboard, illuminating them both. She hadn't left his side all day, staying there with him. She still held his hand in hers, even though he was in a deep sleep.  
The doctors had given him a sedative earlier to dull the pain so he could sleep. Trevor breathed calmly, completely out of it. Her eyes never left him, watching silently.  
A nurse walked into the room, but Claire didn't pull her hand away from his. She looked up as the nurse came over to the bed. The nurse looked at Claire sitting there, and she paused.  
"I'm just going to check his vitals. Make sure he's ok."  
Claire nodded, eyes sadly going back to Trevor.  
The nurse checked Trevor's I.V. drip, making note of the fluid level. The small machine whirred softly, going about its job as a red LED number glowed on its side. She checked Trevor's bandages, careful not to wake him. The bleeding seemed to have stopped. His sutures were holding. She was about to leave, making a note on her clipboard, when she noticed Claire's expression... and stopped.  
Claire didn't even notice what the nurse had been doing. Her eyes were full of worry, full of concern as she looked at Trevor. She seemed afraid of something.  
The nurse tried to comfort her. "Ma'am? Don't worry. We're taking good care of him. His injury is still serious, but it's no longer life threatening. He'll be ok. He's out of the woods..."  
Claire nodded, still introspective as she looked at Trevor. "I know. I know he will." Suddenly she let out a soft, sad laugh. "But I'm worried that I... that I might have an even bigger problem."  
The nurse blinked, not understanding. "And what's that?"  
Claire was still looking at Trevor, and she didn't pause as she answered, her voice quiet. "I think I'm in love with him..." she said finally. Finally admitting it to herself.  
The nurse didn't understand the concerned look in Claire's eyes, or why it should be a problem that Claire felt that way. But she said nothing, nodding silently and leaving the two of them alone.   
Claire shifted closer to Trevor as he slept, lifting his hand to her lips and kissing it. She didn't want to think about it now. Didn't want to think about the implications of her statement. Of what it would mean.  
Claire slowly lowered her head down onto Trevor's chest, contently listening to his heart, feeling it beat against her face. She sighed and closed her eyes, resting there, listening.  
She knew things would have to change because of how she felt. Knew that a lot of those changes were things she wasn't looking forward to. It should be easy when someone felt the way she did, but it wasn't. Not for her and Trevor. Not with what he was, and what she was. But that didn't matter right now. Right now she was just thankful that Trevor was alive. The hard decisions she would have to make... could wait.  
  


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	8. when page 8

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Slowly the weeks passed. And slowly Trevor recovered. _Physically_ recovered, anyway. Claire was there with him everyday. Most everyone from Taggerty's stopped by at one point or another to see him. A lot of people came by to visit from where Claire worked too. So many people cared about Trevor. Even the hospital employees all seemed to love him. His room was never empty during the day, never silent. Mike, Nick, Lawrence, Tina, they all came to see him, littering his shelves with cards, gifts, balloons, usually of the 'Cupid' variety. But Claire kept her distance during those times, inexplicably silent and reserved, smiling politely. But she was always at his bedside every night, or asleep on a small nearby couch.  
Dressed in his hospital gown, Trevor was walking gingerly down the hallway, using a metal cane with three small legs at the bottom. Claire watched as the pretty nurses clustered around him tried to help him along, all of them laughing. Trevor smiled, pouring on the charm and flirting with them heavily. Claire could see that he was becoming his old self, the injuries healing both from without and from within.  
Trevor stumbled suddenly, and the nurses reached out to grab him.  
He laughed. "Love it when you do that..." Trevor said with pleasure, and Claire wasn't sure the stumble hadn't been intentional.  
"Claire..." Trevor looked back at her with the smile he always gave only to her. "No peeking back there. These hospital gowns sure don't leave much to the imagination. Remind me to buy you one for Christmas."  
Claire's smiled happily at how well he was doing, but she said nothing. Trevor continued to walk down the hall, going back to the raunchy story he was telling the nurses about one embarrassing time when he had been caught naked at the temple of Dionysus. "So I eventually convinced the satyrs that the shrill, female cry they heard was just some suddenly self-aware baklava finally realizing what it was, right before dinner... and they bought it. You know, now that I think about it, I don't think they were the brightest bunch? Anyway, what else was I supposed to do. How was I supposed to know that the cream in the dish I chose to trickle over her waiting body was served piping hot? She never really forgave me, not even after the swelling went down..."  
Claire turned and walked back into Trevor's hospital room. When Trevor looked hopefully back down the hallway to see her again, she wasn't there. Trevor blinked when he noticed Claire was gone.  
Walking across the room, Claire looked sadly out the window, thinking to herself. She had to tell him. He had to know. Worried, she shook her head. No... Not yet. It wasn't time yet. It wasn't time yet to tell him.  
It was afternoon as Claire sat near the foot of Trevor's bed, her notebook computer open before her as she typed away, working on her book. Trevor had a food service tray rolled over his waist, and he was eating voraciously. Apparently, he had no problem at all with hospital food, always wanting more. Not that he had ever had a problem with any food at all.  
Claire's face was full of concentration as she typed, pausing to read what she had written. She sighed, worried about the results. Worried about her objectivity in continuing a book about Trevor because of how she realized she felt about him. Starting over, her face became serious... going into full 'work' mode as she continued to type.  
Trevor watched her as he chewed, growing thoughtful. Even now, when she looked so serious and reserved, Claire was still so beautiful. Even dressed in a simple t-shirt and sweatpants, with her hair tied back. Claire had such a beautiful spirit, a beautiful soul. She could never, really be ugly to him. His eyes never left her, still eating.  
Trevor began to think, still feeling sore from his injuries. He began to wonder why it had all happened. All the lost beads. Being shot by Faith. Was it because he loved Claire? He had almost died, and he didn't want to think about the deeper implications of that right now. All he wanted to think about was Claire, watching her. He knew that no matter what happened, he wouldn't change the way he felt about her. Never. The gods be damned.  
Claire looked up, and noticed him watching her. Trevor quickly looked away, embarrassed a little and going back to his food. Claire smiled at his attention, but just slightly. She watched him for a long moment, before going back to her typing.  
  
Dressed in her white lab coat, Claire paused in the empty hallway. She was about to go into the psyche ward at her hospital. The locked security door was right in front of her. She didn't know why she felt so reluctant. This was her realm. She worked here everyday. She was comfortable here. But not today. Claire took a breath, feeling a little uncertain. Finally she stepped forward.  
She smiled at the orderly behind the small window in the wall beside the door. "Hello, Kenneth..."  
The orderly smiled back, recognizing her. "Good morning, Dr. Allen."  
Claire slid her ID card through the lock. There was a beep, and it clicked. Claire pushed the door open with her shoulder, going in.  
The orderly nodded calmly, making a point to lean out his window and watch appreciatively as Claire walked away. Then he went back to the book he was reading, _Final Exit_. Thinking about the book for a moment, he blinked, before leaning back out to watch Claire leaving again. She certainly looked good walking away. With a shrug, he tossed the book into the waist basket, thinking better of it.  
  
The common room in the ward was virtually deserted. A large, muscular orderly waited nearby, standing a few steps away. Claire sat calmly at the single table in the middle of the room, looking across to the woman seated with her. Looking at... Faith.  
They had both been sitting there silently for some time. Faith didn't look at Claire. She didn't seem to look at much of anything anymore.  
Claire glared at her coldly, watching in silence, unable to keep the anger from her eyes. Her face looked hard and unsympathetic. She knew it wasn't a very professional response, but she couldn't help it. Faith had shot Trevor in cold blood, and Claire wasn't so sure she could forgive her for it.  
"Faith..." Trying her best to push the anger beneath the surface, Claire finally spoke, her voice cold and soft as she leaned forward. "I don't even really know why I'm here. When I should-" she stopped what she was about to say. "I should hate you for what you did. Trevor's my friend, and you-"  
"You're more than friends," Faith interrupted softly, still looking down.  
Claire's face hardened even more. "You know what? I really don't know why I came here. Why I arranged to see you. Why I even bothered. Well... maybe I do. It's to get some answers, Faith. To make some sense of it all, I guess. To try to, at least, even if it's hopeless. So... why? Tell me why. Why did you do it."  
The room was quiet, before Faith answered, her voice soft. She looked up, staring at Claire with unwavering certainty, her eyes blue and clear.   
"Because Trevor needed to believe again..."  
Claire shook her head. "Trevor doesn't 'need' to believe."  
Faith's eyes didn't falter. "If he didn't need to believe... then he would have stopped believing a long time ago."  
Claire looked at her. "What Trevor 'needs' is to get better."  
"He won't..."  
Claire ground her teeth, a little angry. "And why's that?"  
"Because of what I've seen," Faith didn't look away, didn't blink. "What I've seen between the two of you. Trevor won't get better. He won't get well. Not with you in his life. He... he cares about you too much..."  
Claire looked at her, jaw dropping slightly and blinking once in shock. She pulled back, not expecting that. Not expecting the unvoiced fears that had been churning inside her, fears that had been keeping her awake the last few nights, to be thrown back at her by this... this _delusional_ woman, of all people. This woman she hated. Claire had not expected to... to agree with her. And now, she didn't know how she could argue the point.  
They both sat there silently for awhile in that big, empty common room, sitting alone at the table, neither knowing what else to say.  
  
Champ, Jaclyn, and Claire were all visiting Trevor in his hospital room, but Claire was keeping to the back and keeping to herself, as she had been lately. She looked at Trevor with affection, watching silently as the other three laughed, smiling along with them. But she didn't speak, and she didn't come any nearer.  
"Hey, Claire bear," Trevor called to her. "Your turn. Come on... fess up. Was there ever a time when you absolutely, positively just had to, and I mean _ had to,_ have someone Kibble your bits? Wild your oats? Fruity your pebbles? And you just new it had to be right there and right then?"  
Jaclyn giggled, waiting. "Yeah, come on, Claire. Don't hold back on us. I can think of a time or two."  
Claire smiled politely. "Nothing comes to mind."  
Trevor seemed cocky as he smiled at her. Like he knew something. "Oh really... Well that's not what I heard, Spanky... I mean, Sparky. Let's see if I can give your memory a rub down. I got a chance to talk with you life long friend Joanne back at your high school reunion. You remember her, right? Blond, cute. She told me the little nick name they gave you back in college."  
Claire's face went slightly red, blushing as she looked down with an pleasant smile, but she said nothing.  
Champ was intrigued. "Nickname?"  
"Oh yeah," Trevor smiled at the thought. "Claire had such a voracious appetite that they used to call here 'Anywhere Claire'. The student body was well aware of Claire's student body. She really turned it loose and let her freaky deaky flag fly. Joanne regaled me with several promising tales of her... let's call it _congenial outlook_, back in college. Imagine that... Our own Dr. Claire Allen, renowned frigidare extraordinare, was quite the little tiger in several studly tanks from what I've heard. Man, I knew I came back in the wrong time... " He looked at her playfully.  
Champ and Jaclyn laughed, not believing it. Even Claire couldn't help but chuckle. "That was a long time ago, Trevor..." she said.  
Trevor agreed. "Too long ago... I wish I could have known you then, Claire," he thought about it fondly, sighing. "I mean, there are good collegiate memories... and then there are _GOOOOOOD_ collegiate memories."  
Claire nodded, still smiling but distracted. Jaclyn looked over and noticed, curious at Claire's reaction.  
"Trevor..." Claire stepped forward off the wall, thinking. Finally she looked up and spoke calmly. "I... I think I'd better be going now, Trevor. I'll see you tomorrow."  
Claire gathered her things, thinking to herself. Not yet. I can't tell him yet. It can wait.  
"Bye guys," She gave them all a generic smile and stepped out into the hallway, leaving the room.  
Jaclyn watched her leave, blinking after she was gone. Trevor and Champ were already engrossed in the specifics of the next sorted Claire story, laughing. Jaclyn touched Champ's shoulder. When he looked at her, she tilted her head towards the door to tell him that she was stepping out for a second.  
Champ smiled at her fondly, before turning back to Trevor's tale. Jaclyn rose and left the hospital room.  
  
"Claire!"  
Claire turned when she heard her name.  
Jaclyn hurried to catch up to her, both of them already several hallways away from Trevor's hospital room. Claire waited patiently, sadly, until Jaclyn came to her side.  
"Claire?" Jaclyn gave her a worried look. "Is everything alright?"  
"Sure. Everything..." Claire exhaled. "Everything's great."  
Jaclyn could see the expression on Claire's face, and she didn't believe it for a second. "Did you and Trevor have a fight or something?"  
"No. No... not at all. Why do you ask?"  
"It's just..." Jaclyn didn't know how to phrase it. "Well... you've sort of been giving Trevor... umm, the cold shoulder lately. And now... with you leaving so abruptly-"  
Claire sighed, but her voice was evasive. "I just... I just have a lot of work to catch up on."  
"No..." Jaclyn said softly. "... I mean, that's not it. I can tell. What is it? There seems to be a... a space between you and Trevor now."  
Claire shook her head, growing unexplainably annoyed. "Look, he's my patient, ok? My _patient_... I'm his doctor. That's all. I don't know why I should even-..." Claire waved vaguely at his distant room, before she let out a frustrated sigh. "I-I don't have to be with him twenty four hours a day, Jaclyn! Maybe I need a little space for once! Some room to breathe! Can't you understand that? I... I mean that there are other men out there besides Trevor, you know. And maybe... just maybe I'd like to believe that I have a life..."  
In no mood to explain any further, Claire turned angrily and started to walk away. Jaclyn stood there in the hospital hallway for a moment, taken aback a little by the rebuff, before she called out rather pointedly, a little annoyed herself.  
"Umm, Excuse me... _'Doctor'_ Allen?"  
Claire stopped several feet away, lowering her head, before reluctantly turning around to look at her.  
Jaclyn seemed a little uncomfortable. "I... I really shouldn't be telling you this, but you.... you do know that Trevor's in love with you, right?"  
Claire looked at Jaclyn sadly, not surprised in the least. "Believe me, Jaclyn. I know..."  
Without another word, Claire slowly turned and began to walk away again.  
Jaclyn called out one more time, taking a step towards her. "But Trevor still needs you..."  
Claire stopped, thinking about it, but she didn't turn around. "You know, I'm... not so sure that's true anymore, Jaclyn..."  
Clutching her coat before her, Claire walked away down the hospital hallway without explaining any further, leaving a dumbfounded Jaclyn behind as she turned a corner and moved out of sight. Jaclyn blinked, wondering what Claire had meant by that, looking confused. Finally she turned and walked down the hallway in the opposite direction, going back to Trevor's hospital room. The hallway was empty behind her  
  
The door to Champ's apartment swung open the next day, and suddenly the quiet room was filled with laughing voices as Trevor, Claire, Champ and Jaclyn all came happily in. It was a beautiful, sunny afternoon, the sky glowing a gorgeous blue through the living room window, and it was Trevor's first day back from the hospital. Everyone felt a little celebratory, their spirits high. Champ and Jaclyn had hung a banner on the wall earlier over the television set which read _Welcome Home, Trevor._ He noticed the banner, and walked forward.  
Trevor was all smiles as he gazed up at it, nodding contently. He still walked with the small metal cane, but that would only be for another week or so. His broken ankle was healing slowly, as was the rest of his body.  
Trevor looked all around, eyes bright. "Free at last, free at last..."  
"Home sweet home," Champ said with a smile.  
Trevor nodded. "Home sweet home away from home, anyway. I guess you and Jaclyn are gonna miss your little romper room playtime in each and every room of the apartment like while I was gone..."  
Suddenly Champ and Jaclyn both looked at each other, both seeming nervous before smiling at him awkwardly. They both quickly shook their heads, trying to laugh it off, a little embarrassed by the implication.   
"Don't... don't be silly, Trevor." Jaclyn looked down with a playful expression, like she had been caught in something.  
Champ was touching his neck, feeling self conscious about it for some reason, and trying not to blush. "Umm... No, not at all. We're just glad you're back..."  
Trevor smiled, obviously having struck close to home. Champ was trying to lift the collar of his shirt without drawing attention to himself, as if to hide his neck. Trevor nodded when he noticed, but he put the pleasant thought out of his mind, eagerly turning and walking towards his bedroom. Standing in his doorway, he looked up. His beads were still hanging there on their string. Still in their dismal state. Trevor sighed, realizing he had a lot of work to catch up on.  
Jaclyn stepped forward behind him. "Here Trevor. This is for you."  
Trevor turned and took the little wrapped present she offered him. "A gift? Jackie... that's sweet. I didn't get you anything..." Trevor looked over at Champ, who still seemed a little uncomfortable by what Trevor had implied that the two of them had done all over the apartment. "Or... maybe I did."  
Trevor looked at all of them. Jaclyn in Champ's arms. Claire watching silently from the back, as she always did these days. He nodded, suddenly feeling very touched. "Well, this place may not have dozens of bouncy semi nude nymphs playing strip volley ball like my real home back at Olympus, but I'm still glad to be back. You guys are great. Really..."  
Still in Champ's arms, Jaclyn reached out and touched Trevor's shoulder. "Welcome home, Trevor."  
Trevor smiled. "Thanks..."  
Claire finally stepped forward. There seemed to be resolve on her face. "Umm, you guys.... could I have a moment alone with Trevor, please?"  
"Claire!" Trevor's face lit up instantly. "How nice of you to offer! Believe me, I was thinking the exact same thing the whole way up here. Now that's what I call a house warming gift. I'll get the body oils, you load the camera. But next time, you really have to buy me dinner first." Trevor started off, but paused. "Wait. That is what you meant, isn't it?"  
"Something like that..." Claire smiled slightly, but she still looked so serious, not taking the bait. "Just a few minutes, please?" She said to Champ and Jaclyn, looking over at them.  
"Umm... sure, Claire." Champ answered slowly, confused. Neither he nor Jaclyn understood Claire's suddenly serious demeanor or what she had in mind. She seemed so sullen. "I've got to get some groceries anyway before Trevor empties out the fridge..."  
"No pork rinds! Hate those things." Trevor offered.  
Champ and Jaclyn made their way to the front door, saying nothing else. Silently, they both left, looking back once, before they shut the front door behind them.  
Trevor and Claire were alone.  
Smiling at her, Trevor noticed her serious expression too. He took a seat on the couch, wondering what was going on.  
"Ok, Sparky. You finally got me all to your os so lucky self. We can start in the bedroom if you feel like staring at the stain on my ceiling for the next few blissful hours. Just look at it like one of those paint blot tests you tried to get me to take last month. Of course, I wouldn't mind interpreting my ceiling too, so either way. We have plenty of time to experiment. But I have to warn you, I'm still a little sore so we may have to stop before ohhh.... I don't know, Tuesday..." His smile fell away as he watched her. Nothing. Trevor sighed, not knowing what else to say. The innuendoes were easy, but they didn't seem to lighten the mood.   
Claire nodded, not really listening anyway. It was time. It was time to tell him. She couldn't put it off any longer.  
Her voice was soft. "Trevor, when you were...." She looked down. "When you were shot, I really thought I was going to lose you. That I would lose you in my life. It forced me to... well, to realize some things."  
Trevor could see this was hard for her, whatever this was. So he waited, not saying anything, looking at her standing across the room.  
Claire looked anxiously away for a moment, taking in a soft, quivering breath, before she finally managed to continue.  
"And I... I was forced to realize... certain things. Things that I've finally had to admit to myself are true..."  
Trevor's voice sounded worried as he spoke, but he tried to comfort her, leaning forward. "What is it, Claire?"  
Claire looked at him desperately, trying to ignore the pull she felt towards him, the yearning to hold him. "Trevor, I... I have to tell you something. Something that it's been hard for me to admit over the years." She laughed sadly, looking away. "I guess it's still a little hard..."  
Trevor nodded, understanding in his eyes. "Wanting to say something, but... finding you can't. Believe me, I know that feeling. It's ok, Claire. Just tell me what you have to say..."  
Her eyes locked on his, glittering slightly. "Trevor, I finally realized that I..." She paused, before forcing it out. "...that I can't be your doctor anymore."  
Trevor pulled slowly back, stunned, not expecting that. His voice was soft, surprised and hurt. "What...? But-..." He couldn't have looked more shocked if she had claimed she was all a figment of his delusional imagination, a phantom made of air. "But... why?"  
Claire took a breath, trying not to cry. She looked at him, saw it all in his eyes, saw what he was feeling. Her heart went out to him in that moment, but she continued. She forced herself to. Her voice shook a little.  
"Trevor, I'm think I'm in-..." She stopped, looking away. She couldn't tell him why. Not if she wanted him to get better. Nothing good would come of it. "I just can't be your doctor anymore. Let's leave it at that."  
Trevor felt devastated, head dropping as he slowly rose off the couch. "Claire, I...I don't know why you're-" He looked up at her as if she had stabbed a knife through his heart, the pain clear in his confused face. Out of nowhere, he suddenly wondered if this was what Faith had felt when he had rejected her. Trevor stepped towards her, desperate to change her mind, his voice growing animated.  
"Claire, look. I'm sorry. Sorry for whatever it was that I did to make you decide... If I offended you in some way or did something wrong, I'll-"  
Claire shook her head sadly, tears forming in her eyes and her words cracking. "It's nothing like that, Trevor."  
Trevor didn't stop, coming closer, tears forming in his eyes too. "Tell me what it is... I can change, Claire. I can... I'll even promise not to tease and ogle you anymore, I swear. Well... not _tease_ anyway. Please... Whatever it is, we can get past it. Whatever it is. We can-"  
"Believe me, Trevor. There's no getting past _this_."   
"But I can figure out a way to fix whatever-"  
"Trevor..." Her voice sounded fragile, like it could shatter with her next breath, yearning and sad. They were both on the verge of tears. "Trevor... don't. Ok? I'm... I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Trevor. For everything..."  
Claire looked at him for a long moment, almost as if it were for the last time. "It's for the best, Trevor..."  
They both stood there, stunned into silence. The air was filled with so many things between them, so many things that were left unsaid.  
Finally Claire took a breath. "Goodbye, Trevor." She turned to leave.  
Trevor watched her silently. "This is because of Faith, isn't it?"  
Claire turned to him, a tear falling down her face. "What?"  
A tear rolled down Trevor's cheek too. He sniffed, face under conscious control as he nodded slowly, looking at the floor, trying to keep his composure. "You blame me for what happened to her..."  
"No..." Claire shook her head, trying to comfort him. "No, it's nothing like that."  
Trevor seemed crushed, looking away from her sadly, believing he had found the reason. In that moment, Claire realized he didn't seem at all like the all mighty god he claimed to be. As he spoke, he seemed so... vulnerable. So... human. His voice was soft and apologetic. "I'm sorry, Claire. I'm so... so sorry for what happened. You'll... you'll never know how sorry. I know I don't say it enough. I should have listened to you, and now-"  
"Trevor, that's not the reason." She came over to him, touching his arm, looking meaningfully into his face. She couldn't let him believe that. Both of them were trying their best to hold back the rest of the tears building in their eyes. "You... you don't have to feel sorry about that. You were the victim, Trevor. I don't blame you... for anything."  
Trevor looked at her sadly for several seconds. "Then... what?"  
"It's..." Claire swallowed, looking at him. She desperately wanted to tell him. To tell him that she loved him. That he meant everything. That he was everything to her. But she knew she wasn't going to let that happen. Her heart sank with that realization, watching him, before she answered.  
"It's the way it is...."  
Claire let go of his arm. Turning away, she opened the front door.  
"Don't throw us away, Claire. Please..."  
Claire closed her eyes, not facing him. She heard it in his voice. When he had said 'us'. And she realized that this was right. She didn't say a word. She didn't turn around. Instead she quietly walked through the door, pulling it shut, not looking back.  
The door closed. Trevor stood there, trying to make some sense of it all. He stood there alone, alone in the empty apartment. Alone in the afternoon sunlight, as it flowed brightly in through the window. Alone like he had never been alone before. He sighed to break the silence, body almost quivering desperately. The welcome home banner was still hung on the wall behind him, ignored, as Trevor slowly lowered his head, realizing Claire was gone.  
  
Claire walked onto the sidewalk outside Trevor's building, fighting back tears. She looked sadly up at the late afternoon sky above her, glowing a rich beautiful sunset color. The sun glittered off the watery trails drying on her cheeks. Walking over to her car, she opened the door and got in. As she slammed it shut behind her, her head collapsed down against the top of her steering wheel, crying softly as he shoulders shook.  
A slow, bluesy song began to play.  
  
_I've got you... under my skin,  
I've got you, deep in the heart of me..._  
  
Trevor walked sadly back to his bedroom, stunned, heart broken. He was bathed in the glow of the sunset too as he walked through his empty apartment. Looking around in despair, he wondered what he was going to do now. What he was going to do without Claire. Without her in his life. He looked out the window, wondering what he had done to deserve this. Wondering why the gods hated him so...  
  
_So deep in my heart,  
you're really a part of me.  
I've got you, under my skin..._  
  
Claire pulled her head up from the steering wheel, wiping her face. Taking a deep breath, she reached out and turned the ignition key. The engine hummed to life as she waited a few moments in silence, trying to compose herself. Finally she pulled away from the curb, the sunset still glittering in her eyes.  
She forced herself to look straight ahead as another tear fell. Forced herself not to think about what was behind her. Trevor's apartment fell away into the distance behind her rear window. She closed her eyes for a moment as she drove, before opening them again with a tilt of her head. And no matter how hard it was to do... she didn't look back.  
  
_I tried so, not to give in...  
I have said to myself this affair,   
Never gonna go so well..._  
  
Trevor collapsed into his recliner, wet tracks shining on his face too. Without a word he looked up. Looked up at what was hanging above him.  
It was his string. His string of beads. His tally to go home. His eyes moved over all his 'lost' matches, all the beads that had slid back. Trevor suddenly realized how far away from home he really was, in more ways than one, now that Claire was gone. Looking at the string, it seemed so heavy as it hung there.  
Wait. It did seem heavier.  
Trevor blinked, realizing that his string was hanging lower than usual. He rose to his feet, looking over at it. Curious, he turned and slid his recliner beneath it. Being careful of his sore ankle, Trevor stepped up onto his recliner, standing shakily on top of it, rising eye to eye with the string. With a look of deep sadness, he grazed his fingers over each of the beads, seeing them closer than before.  
Claire's car sped away down the middle of the street, growing smaller as it drove off into the distance, not stopping.  
  
_But why should I try to resist,  
When baby, I know you so well,  
I have got you, under my skin..._  
  
Trevor turned his head as his fingers examined the hook he had nailed into the wall when he had first moved in. It was loose, weighed down by the string. He absently pushed it back in. The string straightened smoothly out, and the beads... all instantly slid back to the positions they had been in all along.  
He suddenly stopped when he noticed that, speechless.  
Trevor couldn't believe it, realizing what had happened. He looked at the count. He hadn't lost any couples at all. He had actually gained a few. Champ had been right. The nail had just been loose.  
Trevor blinked in surprise, stepping down from the recliner as he looked up in wonder at the string hanging above him. His 'couples' situation wasn't as bad as he had feared. His elation was short lived, and his face fell, thinking about Claire. Thinking that he might never see her again. Somehow the sight of those beads on his string... didn't make him feel any better for once.  
  
_Don't you know blue eyes,  
You never can win...  
Use you're mentality, step up to reality..._  
  
Claire couldn't drive anymore. Realizing Trevor's apartment was far behind her, she finally pulled the car over to the curb, face still bathed in the golden light of the sunset. The car engine stopped as traffic whizzed by on the street. She sat there, all alone in her car, not even knowing where she was, still trying to hold it in. Finally she couldn't, crying as she sat there. She leaned forward, resting her head against the top of the steering wheel again, her arms crossed in front of her. She sobbed there for several minutes, not lifting her head. Her world seemed to have crumbled around her as she sat there, parked on some nameless street.  
Looking down from his string of beads, Trevor suddenly noticed something in his bedroom, seeing it out of the corner of his eye. He looked over at the window, where the sun's light was flowing warmly through. Suddenly he blinked in surprise when he saw a small statue on his window sill. A small winged figurine, bathed in rays of golden light.  
Trevor stepped forward slowly, wondering what it was. Then as he got closer... he recognized it. Recognized the small wings, the small, smiling, cherubic face. The bow with its arrow notched and pointed at him. It was Faith's statue. The statue from her Eros Society. Trevor looked around, wondering how it had gotten there. The small statue smiled at him, mocking him as it's arrow pointed at his chest. Mocking his feelings for Claire. Like it didn't need to fire a single shot, because the damage was already done. A chill passed through Trevor when he realized something. When had Faith been in his bedroom? Trevor suddenly jerked his cane around and knocked the statue angrily off the ledge.  
  
_But each time I do,  
just the thought of you,  
makes me stop before I begin,  
I got you, under my skin.._  
  
Claire's fingers traced delicately over the small winged figure on Trevor's music box.  
She was at home, alone in her bedroom. Night had fallen outside her window.  
As she sat there, she touched it again, thinking wistfully of Trevor. It was the music box he had given her for Christmas. Seated at her dresser, she looked at it, ignoring the open notebook computer she had on before her. Claire sighed as her fingers came off his gift, turning instead to the blank, empty screen glowing coldly on top of her dresser.  
She really needed to work. If for no other reason than to get her mind off things. But instead, she put the book file aside, opening a new file in her word processor. She had to explain it to him. She had to. She had to explain to Trevor, because she couldn't leave things like this. Finding the resolve at last, she leaned forward and began to type a letter to him, not holding back.  
_Trevor, I have to tell you why I did what I did..._  
Claire just... wrote. Wrote without thinking, without reservation. A very personal passage began to appear on her screen. It came in fits and starts, slow at first, but quicker as she allowed herself to open up to her feelings. She wrote about all that had happened... and all that she felt for him, into that letter to Trevor, starting to sniff sadly as she did.  
  
A dark alcoholic liquid was poured into a shot glass, waiting on top of some nameless bar. The fluid glowed with color in the dimly lit room, and Trevor slowly took it, offering a weak 'thanks' towards the bartender. He brought the glass to his lips but he didn't drink, continuing his tale.  
"So then... so then it all blew up in my face. Just... Bl-oom! Over. Done. Bolt from the heavens sorta deal. Just like that. Just like--what is it about women anyway?" Trevor instantly changed tracts. The bartender only smiled to himself, listening as Trevor continued in his slurred voice. "I mean-... I mean I don't have a clue how any of their minds work. How do they work!? I don't... don't... really... know, you know? Don't understand a single one of them. Not Persephone, not... not Athena, not mom, not none of them. And especially not her! Not little Miss Doctor's degree. Little Miss Freezer Pleaser! And I really should. I _reaaally_ should, considering what I do for a living. But... but they're all... _INSANE_. They're all completely insane. Then they try to tell you that _you're_ insane. Try to get your friends to believe it too. Try to get the... get the 'HOSPITAL' to believe you're insane, but... they're the ones. They're the ones who are completely... completely... Wait..." Trevor just registered what the bartender had said when he had started explaining several minutes ago. "Wait... how did you know I was in here because of a woman anyway?"  
The bartender shrugged, still smiling. "Isn't that why anyone's in here?"  
"Yes!" Trevor pointed forcefully at him, his mind still a little hazy. "MY exact-... my-... exactly... Point my-... Exactly... Yes. So you... you understand, right...?"  
Chuckling, the bartender shook his head. "Not really..."  
Trevor continued, not listening. "Great! See, it's all her. All... _her_! Her with her 'assessments'. And her with... her 'evaluations'. Her rules for love. Rules for love. Rules! Can you believe it? I mean, how crazy... how crazy is that?"  
The bartender tried to follow Trevor's ramblings, thinking of how insane he sounded as he answered. "Certifiable..."  
"Yes! Her and her rules. Her 'compatibilities'. Her..." Trevor grew even sadder, voice softening. " Her laugh. Her and her face. Her... her lips. I just want to see her laugh again. I miss her. I miss her laugh, the way her eyes light up... They light up like the constellations on the dark side of the moon. Just one more time. That's all. I wanna see it one last time. One little smile. One little... Wait... what was I saying?"  
The bartender smiled, reminding him patiently. "Women...".  
"Yes," Trevor nodded sloppily. "Caveat amator! Let the lovers beware! _Women_... They're almost half of the entire problem..."  
"What's the rest?"  
"Well... men...."  
"So let me guess the rest of the story..." the bartender said calmly, having heard it all a million times before. "She broke your heart..."  
"No. No... She _stole_ my heart. She just took it. I wasn't even looking, and she took it. She didn't even have the courtesy to ask, you know? Didn't even bother to ask. No 'Hey, can I have that?'. Nooooo... Just swooped in... and took it. Grabbed it and ran. Grabbed it and said," Trevor momentarily switched to a mocking, falsetto voice, "_'I can't be you're doctor anymore'_. Man... man that's cold, you know. And that's not the worst. Not the worst. _After_ she took it, she broke it. And stomped on it. Hard. And stomped on it again. Into a million pieces. Stomp... Stomp! Stomp! Stomp!"  
Trevor banged loudly with each word on the bar for emphasis, making the glasses rattle. The few other dreary looking patrons in the run down place turned to look for a moment, before quickly losing interest and going back to their drinks, each sitting alone.  
The bar tender grabbed Trevor's glass so it wouldn't spill, trying to temper Trevor's enthusiasm. "Hey. Easy there, drummer boy..."  
"Sorry." Trevor apologized.  
  
Claire's eyes moved over her computer screen, reading what she had just written. Her eyes began to widen slightly. It all read like some incoherent high school love letter! The passage she had written was all about Trevor, and how she loved him, but she couldn't objectively be his doctor anymore. Or even tell him why before. How she had wanted so desperately to explain and tell him the truth, but she couldn't. She couldn't tell him that she loved him.  
Full of sadness, Claire looked away from the letter, thinking. This man, this love of her life... was delusional. She was certain of that. The irony of her situation wasn't lost on her. All the people she tried to help, who's tortured psyches she tried to heal. And she falls in love with the one man that she couldn't. Or maybe didn't want to. She couldn't let herself love Trevor as a delusional man. She couldn't. Otherwise he would never get better. But the way he was now... was the way she loved him. It was that man she loved. Why should she change that? Still, she wasn't going to stand in the way of Trevor getting better, no matter what the personal costs.  
Claire sighed, her shoulders falling as she realized everything she had written was all mush. It was far.. _far_ too personal. Not a very 'clinical' perspective to the situation at all. She suddenly missed him deeply, growing sadder. Claire looked over at the music box, thinking of Trevor, wondering where he was. Wondering if she should even send him the letter after all. Finally she sighed again, and deleted the entire passage from her screen.  
  
_I would sacrifice anything, come what might,  
For the sake of having you near..._  
  
The bartender shook his head. "I don't think she blames you, Trevor."  
Trevor fluttered a disbelieving raspberry through his closed lips in rebuttal. "Of course she does! What else could it be..."  
The bartender lifted an eyebrow. "Maybe it's because she really cares about you. Maybe she wants you to get better. Maybe it's because she... well, you know. Loves you..."  
Trevor laughed, slumping down until his forehead rested on the top of the bar. "And they call me crazy..."  
The bartender shrugged. "Look, it's just a thought..."  
  
_In spite of a warning voice,  
that comes in the night,  
And repeats then it shouts in my ear..._  
  
The words flowed onto Claire's computer screen again, since she had returned to writing her book. This time was different. Her sentences were concise. Clean. Clinical. But no matter how hard she tried to concentrate on them, she couldn't. She realized that they were... empty. They lacked what she really felt inside. Her eyes moistened over and she kept looking over at Trevor's music box, realizing her train of thought was repeatedly being interrupted by it.  
A tear rolled down her cheek.  
Claire couldn't take it anymore. She couldn't think clearly. Not with that there. Rising from her chair, she took the music box into her hands and walked off.  
Everything was pitch dark and silent, until the door to the closet opened. Claire was on the other side, in her softly lit bedroom. She held a cardboard box in her hands. A box filled with everything Trevor had ever given her. The music box, the Christmas card it had came with, a blue bottle of bubbles for blowing. And... a small necklace in the shape of a heart, studding with diamonds. It was supposedly from Alex, but deep down, she knew.... Trevor had sent it in Alex's name. Deep down, she had always known.  
Claire lifted the box up on to the shelf over her clothes, shoving it to the back where she couldn't see it. Without looking back, she turned and closed the door, and the interior of the closet went dark again.  
  
_Don't you know y'old fool,  
You never can win,  
Use your mentality, wake up to reality..._  
  
Trevor blinked up at the bartender, wondering what they were arguing about. "Wait... who's side are you on?"  
The bartender smiled. "Yours... as long as you keep buying."  
Trevor's face lit up, not offended. "You're a good man! Good... good man! Look, I'd better go."  
The bartender chuckled. "Had enough, huh?"  
"Yeah..." Trevor stumbled to his feet, trying to keep his balance. "Hey, remember... From now on you're on good terms with the god of love. God of Love! LOVE! Lo-.... Wow, that's fun to say. Come on, sing it with me. _LOOOVE!_" Trevor laughed sadly and moved towards the door. "Hey, next time I'm in here, I'll turn all your water into wine! Screw that, I'll turn it into whiskey! Help you on your bar expenses. Believe me, I've done it at beach parties and it's a big hit..."  
Trevor turned and stumbled across the room. Out of nowhere, he started hugging a startled stranger at one of the tables  
"Hey... Hey, I know you. Look, about that crush you had in high school, that one that went really bad... Look.... I just wanted to say.... I'm sorry I did that to you, man. I thought it would be funny. Get a laugh, that sort of thing. It wasn't... I understand now how... how much something like that can hurt, man. It... it hurts a lot. I'm... sorry." Trevor patted the confused man's shoulder, stumbling away from the table.   
Finally Trevor made it over to the front door and opened it. The bartender smiled as he left, taking the full shot glass Trevor had left on top of the bar.  
Another patron sitting at the bar turned to the bartender, watching Trevor walk past the front glass. "Wow." The man nodded over. "Thinks he's the god of love, huh? How many did he have?"  
The bartender shrugged, wiping his hands with his towel. "Not a drop. He never took a sip..."  
Outside, Trevor stumbled down the sidewalk in the cold night air, his breath misting before him. Winter was coming. A cold, lonely winter. In the distance behind him, pale, solitary street lights glowed with many colors. He felt lost, totally alone for the first time in his existence. Abandoned by everyone he cared about. Trevor paused... before turning and rushing over to cough and gag into a nearby trash can.  
  
_But each time I do,  
just the thought of you,  
makes me stop before I begin,  
I've got you, under my skin.._  
  
Claire knew she wouldn't get anything done tonight. Her face was sad as she closed her computer, and her eyes sparkled with new tears. She stood up beside her dresser. Her hand reached up, full of emotion as she clutched at the center of her chest. She couldn't stop thinking about him. Couldn't get him out of her thoughts. She missed him. She missed him so much.  
Claire inhaled, trying not to cry. She wiped her eyes dry, but more tears were already following behind. Thinking about him, she shook her head. This wasn't working. She had to get over Trevor. She had to find some way to forget him. Some way to move on. The sooner the better. But she wasn't so sure she could.  
  
_I love you, under my skin..._  
  
Claire sat down on the side of her bed, looking over at the phone, not certain what to do. She finally reached out, lifting the receiver and resting it against her shoulder as she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She didn't pay attention to the number she dialed, trusting blindly that it would be right one, the one that was there... in her heart.  
The line began to ring in her ear. She waited, wiping her eyes again as she sniffed. Finally someone picked up on the other end.  
"Hello?"  
"Tr-..Richard?" Claire seemed surprised to hear him, her voice soft. "Is that you?"  
"Claire? Hi." There was a pause. "What's... wait, what's wrong?"  
Claire sniffed sadly, looking over at her closed closet door as a tear rolled down her cheek. She shook her head, wiping the tear away.  
"Nothing. It's... umm, nothing's wrong, Richard. I was just calling to tell you. I... I think I'm finally ready for that second date..."  
  


THE END  
  
To Be Continued in   
  
HANGING BY A STRING  
Part 5 of 5  



End file.
